Adults "shacking up" at girl scout camp-outs

[Lynda J]

I can understand a spouse losting their benifits upon remarring But not the child Even with Social Security benifits if the spouse remarries they lost their own benifits. But the children aren't penalized. Same with military. Spouse lose theirs upon remarring. Kids is still the child of the person who died. Now if they are legally adopted by the new spouse. Then they should lost the benifits. But the child that lost a parent should not be penalized twice.

So the childs benifits are taken away. Parent and new spouse divorce. Kids does not get child support from steparent. So now kid has lost all benifits.

The way Gulf was set up. If she did not remarry, her son got income, full medical, and college funds if she did not remarry. Little hard to take all that away from your child.

[evmori]

Wouldn't in most states a man & women who have lived as a couple for 15 years be considered a common law marriage?

 

So what? They still aren't legally married. Can't sleep in the same tent on a Troop campout!

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[scoutldr]

From Wikipedia (so it MUST be true!): Common-law marriage (or common law marriage), sometimes called informal marriage or marriage by habit and repute is, historically, a form of interpersonal status in which a man and a woman are legally married. The term is often mistakenly understood to indicate an interpersonal relationship that is not recognised in law. In fact, a common law marriage is just as legally binding as a statutory or ceremonial marriage - it's just formed differently. I can hear the BSA lawyers now..."don't these guys have better things to do than worry about this?"

[evmori]

Yeah must be true! NOT!

 

Common law marriage is a male & female living together. They have none of the benefits of a legally married couple. Therefore, they're doing nothing more than playing house!

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[GernBlansten]

Obviously, y'all have your hackles up because these two might have sex on a campout. Personally, I think you should refrain from sex while camping with other peoples children. Your values may vary. Don't know if its a BSA rule or troop policy.

 

In my opinion, all sexual activity should be curtailed at scout campouts, whether it be between two scouts, an adult and a scout, two same sex scouts, two same sex adults, married adults, common law adults, adults and livestock, lone adults.

 

This only married adults rule in G2SS is just silly.

 

Doesn't it show greater character to demonstrate your adults can share a tent without even the slightest hint of hanky panky?

[evmori]

It's got nothing to do with hanky panky, Gern! It has everything to do with teaching boys to make moral & ethical decisions.

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[GernBlansten]

I'm confused Ed. Me sharing a tent with another male adult leader is moral and ethical. Me sharing a tent with another female adult leaders is immoral and un-ethical. Why?

[SR540Beaver]

Ed,

 

Don't kid yourself on common law marriage as just playing house. I knew of a guy who had been involved in a common law marriage and his "wife" got half of his retirement fund (against his will) when they decided to split the sheets. I'm sure the laws vary from state to state, but it often amounts to more than playing house in the eyes of the state.

 

Gern,

 

What planet did you come from? While the traditional US societal norms takes a dim view on unmarried people spending the night together (even non-sexual) in front of children, there are societies where you can get killed for showing an ankle or wrist. Logically, no one should give a moments concern to two mature adults of the opposite gender sleeping side by side in the same enclosure. After all, they are simply resting their body as nature dictates. Social mores, folkways, standards and traditions view it differently though. Probably because of the occasional event that could take place nine months later when other parts of "nature" take their course within that enclosure.

[FScouter]

"Me sharing a tent with another female adult leaders is immoral and un-ethical. Why?"

 

Then you're wife is OK with you sleeping with a female Scout leader, as is the husband of that female leader? Then maybe you're OK with your wife sleeping with another man?

 

Demonstrating that kind of behavior to young Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts is not the kind of modeling I would tolerate for my kid.

 

[Trevorum]

"Then you're wife is OK with you sleeping with a female Scout leader, as is the husband of that female leader?

 

Do you mean "sleeping with" as in engaging in sexual conduct? Or do you mean "sleeping with" as proximity during a natural state of rest characterized by a reduction in voluntary body movement, decreased awareness of the surroundings, and a decreased metabolism?

 

If the former, no. If the latter, yes.

[GernBlansten]

Wow. What is the major cornerstone in any marriage? Trust.

No, my wife would have no problems with me sharing a tent with another female. She trusts me. I would have no problem if she would share a tent with another male, I trust her. I also trust her not to share a tent with a man who might have bad intents (pun intended). Likewise, I would not share a tent with a woman who might not respect my position. She knows that. Until now, I thought I had morals but Ed is making me re-think that.

 

Sharing a tent is not living together or shacking up. Its sharing temporary shelter.

 

Ed says its not about hanky panky, but both responses to my comments are directly related to hanky panky.

 

Back to the topic, what demonstrates more character and morality? Demonstrating to scouts that tents are not brothels and no sex shall be engaged in there, or having a issue because some adults might do something in there?

The BSA rule that only married couples may share a tent tells me that they not only condone sex in tents, but expect it.

[Aquila calva]

Will the Boy Scout (and Girl Scout) tent-camping experience soon become, one-person, one-tent?

 

Possibly? Probably? Inevitably?

 

The scene set is a campsite full of individual tents.

[SR540Beaver]

Gern,

 

Can one assume that since you are comfortable with providing this example to young people on a campout, you would have no problems with letting the male and female members of a Venturing Crew share tents?

[GernBlansten]

Can one assume that since you are comfortable with providing this example to young people on a campout, you would have no problems with letting the male and female members of a Venturing Crew share tents?

Depends.

If the pair are mature and respect the code that sex not allowed and they need to respect each other, I have no issue. But not all 14 year olds are mature enough to resist the temptation. So pratically, I'd say the rule stands for youth. I certainly hope that if my son found himself in a situation that he needed to share his tent with a female, he would have learned that it is not immoral and an open invitation to take advantage of the situation.

As Americans, I think we are a bit too uptight with our sexuality and it works against us. Just look at how this discussion devolved. Adults who normally follow the Scout Law and Oath, if put in a tent together will resort to unabashed sexual pleasures as soon as the tent flap is closed. That is the example you are setting for the youth.

[funscout]

Gern,

 

Like you and your wife, my husband and I trust each other completely. That being said, neither of us would ever purposely put ourselves in a situation where we could face temptation. That means that I would never share a tent with another man, my hubby wouldn't go to lunch/dinner with a female co-worker (if it's just the two of them), etc. Although neither of us can imagine ever being tempted to "cheat" on the other, we show our respect for our relationship by avoiding uneccesary temptation.