How DO I Fix This?

[bigbeard]

I have a 14-year old son in BSA and a 9-year old daughter in her first year as a Brownie.

 

The subject of father participation is one near and dear to my heart. When my daughter saw my BSA involvement with her brother, she exacted from me a promise to "do Brownies" with her.

 

The people who run her Troop are good folks, but they do have a pronounced anti-dad bias. Neither leader has confronted me with a "you're not welcome" speech, but the disapproval is sometimes overwhelming. I guess I can understand it, but it's something I would like to work to change. My daughter has friends in the troop and wants to stay, and I have made her a promise I intend to keep.

 

I need to win their hearts and minds, somehow. Anyone have any ideas? In the words of John Merrick, "I am not an animal"!

[MomScouter]

Bigbeard, why don't you ask one of the leaders if you can help out with a diversity project? That might open their eyes a bit. GS is very big on promoting diversity not to mention family. Or offer to teach a skill or lead a game or something wherever your talent lies. You could offer to join the committee (if they have one) or become an assistant leader if you are so motivated - go to some of the trainings. Or better yet come and join my troop because we'd love to have all you dads involved!

[sctmom]

Try to make it clear to the leaders that you are understand the goals of Girl Scouting and are not trying to take over or make it Boy Scouting. Let them you know you want to help and how much your daughter likes having you there. Be honest with them and give them some time to get used to you being around. Show them you treat them and the girls with respect and expect the best out of the girls.

Ask them directly "hey, can I help you with that?" or "I have these skills, is there some way I can help the troop?"

 

[SagerScout]

Well, bless your heart, Dad! You can come help my troop anytime.... however, here's what I have heard from my moms about Dad's participating:

 

About the former (male) troop leader - "Oh, he was just great, the way he worked with the girls and they all just loved him. But you know, he was always SO CAREFUL not to be alone with the girls and that made me so much more comfortable with him...I wondered about him at first, you know, but he definitely was a great leader."

 

About another dad who briefly had his daughters in our troop, but there was a custody issue and they went back to mom pretty quickly "Boy, he really makes me nervous, kinda creepy the way he talks to the girls." This guy bought a sash for a girl not his own daughter because she didn't have one and the girls' mother went ballistic. As far as I know there was never an actual problem but this poor fellow was trying "too" hard. The problem solved itself because of the custody thing anyway but I was a little nervous

 

So, I know you understand how nervous parents are about their precious baby girls, and if you address that with great tact and delicacy I'm betting your troop will end up absolutely loving you. Leader of the year in our service unit last year was a dad, and he's an absolutely GREAT GIRL SCOUT!

[SagerScout]

And BTW, I'm a GS troop leader, and Assistant Scoutmaster for my son's scout troop. I find the boys are really fun, but I also have had already had a mom express her concerns about the boys needing male role models and are there any DADS that might be ASM's too? Other than the male scoutmaster, I'm the only registered adult who has been willing to go camping out with the boys (I carry my own luxuriously comfortable tent). She's married but her husband's not a volunteer. Mine is an occasional helper but not a "regular." I agree that I'd like the dads to be more involved, for one we could do more with more help. I do try very hard not to overstep into the Scoutmaster's role. But in my family, I like Scouting and groups of teens and my husband doesn't really have quite as much patience with them- girls or boys. So, doesn't it make sense for me to do it?