How to help my son get the most out of OA

[Frank17]

My son was tapped out this past summer for OA and just completed his ordeal last month. He went to his first OA meeting at the district level and seemed to enjoy it, although talking to him afterwards, it did not seem like they accomplished much for a 2 hour meeting. Mostly just discussed upcoming trips and played cards. He is still very excited about belonging to the OA, and I would like to foster his enthusiasm. Just for reference, our Troop is not very involved in OA, as from among the 20+ current OA members we have, none of them currently go to the OA meetings. Similarly, at the district level, usually only about a dozen OA members show up for the meeting; that seems light to me for a district that has almost 30 active Troops. I do not know how active the OA is at the Council level, although there is a winter camping weekend organized by Council that he will be going to.

 

What things should I have my son do (other than attend meetings) that will help him get the most out of OA? He is thinking about trying to become our Troop OA Rep: is this a good idea since he just joined? I do not belong to OA so I will not be going along on his trips; as I am his Troop's SM I would like to see him have some activities where I am not around.

[Eagle92]

Chapter meetings can be boring, especially 2 hours. My chapter keeps it to 1 hour with 30 minutes extra for American Indian Affairs ( ceremony, singing, and dance teams) IF needed.

 

If that is the problem let him run for chapter office and see fi he can bring some life to the OA. Programs can do it. At one chapter meeting, we had the local CSI officer do a presentation. We just passed out surveys and there is alot of interest in the OA High Adventure programs: OA Trail Crew at Philmont, Ocean Adventure at Sea Base, and Wilderness Adventure at Northern Tier. We're lucky in that one of the trail crew founding fathers is less than an hour away and I am goign to see if he can do a presentation for a meeting.

 

As for what else to do, does he like doing ceremonies? How about Native American singing or dancing? the join one of their teams. Is he interested in High Adventure? there are tons to do outside of chapter meetings.

 

A few ideas. 1) go to the lodge fellowship which is a fun and educational weekend. Plus you make friends outside the troop and chapter

 

2) Go to the lodge banquet. Ditto on friends.

 

3) GO TO CONCLAVE. A regional meeting that is Fun, Fun, FUN.

 

4) If possible, GO TO NOAC. This is a week long expereince that is essentialy a mini jamboree. It is a blast and I wish i could go in 2009.

 

PM and I can go on and on and on.

 

OH and congrats on the new Ordeal member.

[fleetfootedfox]

I think there is no reason for him not to be OA troop rep just because he's a new member. In fact, if he's the only one going to meetings, he is the logical choice, isn't he?

[gcnphkr]

He might see if there is a ceremony team he could be a part of. Find out about up coming service projects. If chapter elections are past, or if he doesn't feel up to an office then he should talk with the Chapter Chief and see if he can help one of the Vice Chiefs. VC of Inductions always need help and does the VC of Events. Go to ordeals and serve as an elangomat. Have fun. I can't think of a reason for him not to be the OA Rep for the troop.

[Frank17]

It was my thought that he should be the OA Rep as well, since he is interested and will be willing to try to encourage our other scouts to attend OA meetings and activities. I do not know what the lodge does for ceremony teams; I will ask him to check it out. Ditto for elections - he may not want a position right now, especially since he is coming off a sting as a PL for our Troop which kept him quite busy.

[shortridge]

Chapter meetings are hopefully not representative of the OA program in your area. Go to a lodge or chapter inductions or fellowship weekend, and volunteer your services as an elangomat, member of the physical arrangements (ceremony site set-up) team, general work crew member, kitchen crew, anything.

 

Now, hands off! From there, let him choose his own path. There are many opportunities for youth to get involved and lead. He'll find his niche by himself. I touched a lot of bases working my way up, from sobbing while cutting onions in the kitchen to being summer camp staff rep and running elections. Loved all of it.

 

Chapters are going to be generally representative of the troops in the district. If the troops are mostly adult-led, indoor-meeting, let's-kick-a-hackey-sack-around-Fellowship-Hall types, then chapter meetings are going to need an extra shot in the arm to make them fun. It's a little-known fact that a chapter can do pretty darn much anything it wants. It can do independent campouts, overnights, rafting expeditions, ski trips, ceremonial practice weekends, service projects... open a page at random in any BSA program publication and stick your finger on it, and odds are a chapter can do it.

 

Random suggestion: I'm sure you've got talented Scouts who know how to work all the doohickeys on their parents' video cameras and then edit them and put stuff on YouTube. For a first, easy project, try making a chapter camping promotions video - either at your summer camp or at local popular campsites. It's simple and it just might spark something.

 

Random suggestion II: Get involved yourself, if you have the time. If you set an active example in the OA, your son will follow.(This message has been edited by shortridge)

[jtswestark]

All great advice from experienced Scouters, I concur and support what they are telling you. The meetings are the worst part of the OA, especially for new members so dont let that turn him off get him to as many events as you can. Involvement at meetings will come over time.

 

Allow me to brag a minute for what its done for my son: He was tapped out his first year of eligibility and I returned as an advisor (same lodge I was in as a kid, many of my childhood lodge brothers are now advisors). Just like anything else, if he sees its important to you, it will be important to him. But influence from a distance. We arrive together, but as soon as we walk in the door we go our own ways, me with my buddies and he with his. But before it turned that way, I did have to give him a few nudges to get involved and even subtly volunteered him a few times. Got him to every event possible. Once he started feeling comfortable, he got into it, got on ceremony teams and found his place. It became a second home for him. He loves it. Never been any kind of a performer other than on a baseball diamond or swimming pool but when he wanted to be an Indian in the worst way (our lodge still proudly does face painting). Went to Arrow Corps, was Indian Activities Chair, now VC of Activities, was on the Conclave winning ceremony team, created an OA Arrow of Light program for the Council they perform, created an OA First Class in First Year ceremony for our District, brought back an old school tap out to our district camporee (so I helped a little there!), enhanced our Webelo resident camp honor program, tap outs at summer camp, worked on camp staff now two years & looking forward to a third, will be returning as Allowat at Wednesday tap outs & at Ordeals, held his Vigil a year ago (with me), NOAC coming up and is planning on running for Chief next year. We just went to NLS a couple weeks back and the section level guys invited him to staff at conclave and section events this year. Looks forward to OA service at SeaBase, Philmont, and NT. He loves the OA. Three of his best friends are lodge brothers, fellow officers from neighboring schools. It has been the catalyst that kept him in Scouting when he had plenty of distractions from baseball and swim coaches. It has given him more than I ever could have at the troop level (Im his SM) and hes made adult and youth friendships that will last him a lifetime. Since he started driving he runs all over the place doing things and meeting with his brothers to prepare for upcoming events. Our summer camp is his second home and he now loves it like no other place. Drawback is that as a new 17 year old, he needs to finish his project for his Eagle. The OA has been a bit of a distraction from that standpoint, hes a little embarrassed he isnt Eagle yet! But that will finally be done this winter.

 

The OA is a very small world and wont take long for your son to get to know Scouts in the OA from other troops, neighboring lodges, and upwards depending upon how far he goes and how much he enjoys it. Your son will meet the most incredible youths that this country has. Cant ask for better role models than you will see at that level. Ive said it before, whenever anyone has doubts about the next generation of this countrys leaders take them to a Council of Chiefs meeting and tell me we arent doing the right thing in raising these young men. Its an honor to be around these guys and I stand back in amazement at their abilities. Id hire any of these guys in a heartbeat at my company. They live the Oath, Law, and Obligation. Im not being nave, Ive seen it. They are the result of what we are here for. Man does it make you feel good to see it in action!

 

Enjoy and encourage his involvement... youre in for a great ride!

 

Serving Cheerfully,

Jack

 

[local1400]

Frank writes "What things should I have my son do (other than attend meetings) that will help him get the most out of OA?" HE can only get out of it what HE puts into it. But congratulations to him, just encourage him but don't burn him out.

[shortridge]

jtswestark: Your son's experience sounds like a mirror of mine. The difference is that I never got Eagle. I was having far too much fun in the OA and on camp staff - they gave me opportunities that the troop couldn't.(This message has been edited by shortridge)

[Frank17]

Can I volunteer as an adult to help out in OA if I am not a member? I was under the impression that I needed to be a part of OA for that. (I got out of boy scouting as a youth before I was able to join OA).

 

Also, what is the opinion on joining OA as an adult? I have been eligible, but turned down the nomination last spring, as I wanted my son to belong first, and not take away from his experience. I was not planning on joining, as I wanted him to have "his own thing" in scouting to do, as he is already stuck with me as his SM of his Troop.

 

Frank

[gcnphkr]

There is no reason for you to not become a member next year. As SM you are plenty busy so your involvement may be limited, but being a member would allow you to go to some functions that you might otherwise feel like an outsider. Parents are allowed at OA events but the experience will be richer for you if you are a member.

 

I'm a Brotherhood member and a SM. My service to the Order is my support and promotion of OA within the unit. I go to an occasional ordeal and chapter meeting, but for the most part I allow the son to do his OA without me.

[Narraticong]

jet526 has it right. I've been a Brother since 1972, but as a Scoutmaster my duty is to my troop. My role in OA at this point is to support and promote the Lodge. I make it a point to attend as many ceremonies as I can. I make a couple of weekends every year. I go to the annual Lodge Banquet.

 

Our young troop just had our first OA election. My own son was one of the three elected. While I am very proud and excited that I will be able to call him "Brother", I want his experience to be his own. If I go to his Ordeal Weekend, I'll make sure I am working away from his area. I'll be happy if I don't see him until he arrives at the fire.

 

I'd encourage every Scoutmaster who is given the opportunity to join to do just that. If you are nominated, it is because somebody believes you have something to offer. If the Scoutmaster wears a flap, the boys will understand there is something important about membership.

 

Yes, give the boys support in their OA activities, but try to keep hands off. You may see them playing cards at a chapter meeting sometimes. The question is whether they are also carrying out the purposes of the Order. If they generally are, then don't worry about the cards.

 

Some folks call playing cards "fellowship"!

[emb021]

"Parents are allowed at OA events but the experience will be richer for you if you are a member."

 

That's not *quite* a correct statement.

 

By and large, OA events are for OA members only.

 

Parents (and other concerned adults) who feel they need to see the OA ceremonies due to some concern which was not satisfied by allowed them to review the written ceremonies books, are allowed to do so. But that's not the same as saying they are allowed to attend OA events. And they shouldn't treat this like being in attendence at a graduation or the like. That's not the reason for being there. (this topic has been discussed on other threads, so I encourage people to check those other threads and not start up a discussion on it here)

 

 

[jtswestark]

You are in Scouts because you believe in the program. So much that you put your own flesh and blood offspring into it. If the OA is good enough for them, why isnt it good enough for us as adults? Hopefully you will get nominated again to join the OA, I shutter when I hear a nomination was turned down. They may overlook you a second time so as not to waste it again. If most lodges are anything like ours, we need as many adults as we can get, merely for supporting the youth led program specifically TO DRIVE! It turns my stomach on the occasion we dont have enough seats to get guys to Conclave or other events.

 

To me, and for me, its one more way to reinforce the Scouting message in my daily life. Its made me a better man, father, husband, professional, Scouter. and wholly smokes is it fun! Dont pass up the OA, embrace it for its potential.

 

BTW shortridge thats not all that uncommon but we too can apply some nudges as the advisors for that. I joke to him that I was a 14 year old Eagle with a palm by his age. But his Scouting resume blows me away beyond that. I was 41 when I held my Vigil, he was 16. Kinda got me there.

 

Just tonight he received confirmation that he was selected to work in OA events at the 2010 Jambo. Hes really pumped a 17 year old pumped about Scouts. Man I love it.

 

YiB,

Jack

 

[Mr. Boyce]

Just a comment. My own parents were pretty uninvolved in my scouting as a boy, so your question, OP, strikes me, at least, as unusual.

 

If he's not interested, he's not interested. Perhaps encourage him to try OA events a couple more times, but maybe he's starting to like NASCAR or hockey or home electronics or something. Perhaps he's tired of scouting.

 

I got a ton out of my OA work. But maybe it's not for him. And perhaps you're doing some helicoptering here (I mean this humorously but respectfully as well).