death of a leader

[Mr ed]

A scout leader passed away on a this weekends outing. Most of the scouts were in bed and did not witness the events, however some were aware that something was happening. They were not informed until we returned home Saturday morning. We have our next meeting Thursday. Can anyone direct me to some resources, to help our unit through this event?

[gsmom]

How tragic!

 

I don't have resources in mind at the moment, but I have some thoughts based on my own experiences with death in my family.

 

Be as honest as you can with the children about what happened. The way you present the information will depend on their age and maturity.

 

Allow the children to express their feelings.

 

Have the children express their condolences to the family of the leader. This can take the form of poetry, drawings, or any form the children are comfortable with. Encourage them to think of a particularly happy or fun moment they had with this leader, and how the leader made a difference in their lives. The family will treasure such expressions for years to come.

 

Encourage the children's parents to give the children the option of attending the funeral or memorial service.

 

Communication with the children's parents is essential. Let them know the facts, and your plans for helping the children deal with this.

 

gsmom

[matuawarrior]

Mr. ed

 

My condolences to the family and unit.

 

I would suggest to bring in a Church Leader depending on your Scouts Religious Affiliations and have them available to talk with the Scouts.

 

I would try to run the meeting to as close to normal depending on the mood of the Scouts. This is a big event that happened in their lives.

 

I feel that others on the Forum may provide better guidance.

 

My Prayers extends to you all,

 

Matua

 

[OldGreyEagle]

I second the idea of bringing in a religious leader. The pastor of your CO if sponsored by a church of the pastor of the deceased's church if at all possible. This is something that can't be taken lightly and needs experinced intervention.

[Bob White]

Contact your Council Executive, many have tremendous resouces within the council community and additionally they have training due to the Youth Protection program on counseling refferals.

 

I am very sorry for your loss.

 

Bob White

[evmori]

Mr ed,

 

Wow. All the members of Troop 1 are sorry for your loss.

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[acco40]

My deepest sympathies.

 

The younger the boys, the more difficulty they have in understanding "why bad things happen to good people." Many adults struggle with this.

 

When my oldest boy was eleven his catechism teacher passed away (aorta aneurysm). She was only in her thirties and appeared to be in good health. Her son was also in his class. He did not witness the death, it occured at home. When I informed him of her passing I gave him the opportunity to attend her visitation keeping a close eye on how he was responding to the news. I really did not know the family at all personally. My son and I attended the visitation and briefly offered our condolences and paid our respects on a Friday evening. He reaction to the events seemed very appropriate. However, two days later when it was time to attend church, he refused to go. He was struggling with the fact that a good Christian role model had been taken and was rebelling. This type of reaction is fairly normal and quite understandable.

 

Be prepared for some "delayed" reactions from some of the boys. I don't know the age or circumstances of how the Scouter passed away but you want to make sure that boys believe that his death had nothing to do with his scouting activities! Letting the boys express their feelings to a professional (not necessarily a religious leader) is a great idea.(This message has been edited by acco40)

[jbroganjr]

My condolences

I would suggest contacting the school and church(s) of your area for grief conselours.

I would further suggest that the conseling include your adults too.

G-d Bless You, may G-d's love smooth the pain you all must be experiencing.

[dsteele]

My deepest sympathy.

 

I offer the same advice that others have in this thread. Don't try to get through the meeting on your own. A phone call to the local United Way (if you're not affiliated with a church) can lead you to a counselor who could help.

 

Grief is wierd stuff. Good luck.

 

DS

[AK-Eagle]

Condolences and best wishes from the leaders and scouts of Troop 21 Juneau, Alaska

 

Phillip Martin

Scoutmaster Troop 21 "Keet"

Juneau, Alaska

[Eagle74]

Good advice above.

 

On behalf of the leaders and scouts of Troop 468, Milford, Ohio, we extend our deepest sympathy and prayers during this most difficult time.

 

[ozemu]

ditto gsmom's post.

 

Words cannot express the helplessness we all feel at these times.

 

Maybe run a normal meeting but focus on the grief on parade or in a session. It cannot be ignored but life goes on I suppose.

 

At our last Jamboree a Scouter died and the Troop returned home early. I think that this may have been a bad way to handle it - but I wasn't involved.

 

 

[red feather]

Words alone cannot comfort the need that is part of your lives at times such as this. Troop 216, boys and leaders, send their condolences to all of you during this time.

 

Good advice in this forum, please let us know how this was handled for our own reference....

 

We're here.

 

yis

[ACLT21]

You have received a lot of good advice.

 

You could ask a school counselor for advice as to how to handle it. Many have had to deal with similar curmistances in their jobs.

 

We will keep you and the troop in our prayers

and you have our deepest sympthay as well.

 

Troop 21

Springfield, IL

[Mr ed]

there are several thins that I would like to address:

 

First, I am a long time lurker and a new poster, I just wish it was under different circumstances. But what is, is.

 

Second, i would like to thank all of you for your advice and condolences. This, combined with the amount of Scouts and Scouters who attended his memorial were a great comfort to myself and his family.

 

Third, Mark was a leader when I first joined scouting many years ago. He watched me grow through the ranks of Scouting. He was one of my mentors when I became scoutmaster. Furthermore he was a close personal friend of mine. So I would like to thank all Scouters for what they do. The events of this week have proven, beyond any doubt, That we as Adult Leaders have a profound impact on the lives of many people.

 

Finally, the point of my previous question. When we returned home Saturday morning and the youth informed, our CO pastor was there and helped us through. There were lots of tears and it was perhaps the hardest task I ever had as scoutmaster. I wanted the youth to have their parents there, that is why I cancelled the outing. IMHO it was the only logical choice.

 

At the wake, the family asked if the scouts would be willing to stand as an honor guard. This was well received by the youth and their families. It helped make them feel they were part of the services. No scout was forced to stand, they were just informed that if they wanted to, they could.

 

By speaking with the youth at the wake, I realized this weeks meeting was going to be just as painful. I plan to keep the meeting close to normal. the structure will be the same, but the time normally used for skill instruction and event planning will be used for this. I plan on leading a discussion, I have written down my thoughts and feelings so that I can express all I thinking and feeling. then I plan on opening the floor. At our fires at camp we use a talking stick, I will use this same method to run this discussion. I have asked the Pastor of our CO to be with us, and another pastor who is a Scouter and a familiar friend of our unit.

 

I will let you know how this works out.

 

Mr. ed

Troop 684

Chicago