Spun from first cars and lessons learned...

[OldGreyEagle]

Not sure if Issues & Poltics is the place for this, but its where I put it

 

All this talk of cars and bondo put me in a nostalgic mood, thinking of my first car(s)and the other kids in the neighborhood first cars, the GTO, the camaro owned by the rich girl. It also reminded me of a lesson that took a few years to learn.

 

My father and mother had friends who lived just a couple houses away. We traded going to each other's house for holiday dinners.

The father was, well, to put it honestly, was not nice. He was the first adult I knew who was not nice. My Cubmaster was a nice man, the scoutmaster was a nice man, all of my father's friends were nice, well at least to me, except this guy and it took awhile for that to sink in. At the dinners he would ask me about sports, in fall I would lament the Bears latest loss and how had Sayers just shook one more tackle in this game and Butkus made a tackle in another they would be champions. To which he would reply And if frogs had wings they wouldnt bump their ass when they jumped. At first it was funny, I didnt know adults who said "ass" in front of youth,

 

In the summer I would talk about the Cubs and Sox and their latest woes, just a hitter and a pitcher away from hitting the big time. And he would say something disparaguing about the Wrigley family or Comiskey Park or something. Once the Bears had a great season, over .500 I think and I was so proud, I knew he couldn't say anything bad and when we talked about it, he said, yeah well they wont be any good next year. Then it hit me, The Bears, Cubs, Sox, Hawks Bulls, etc would never be good enough for this guy and he enjoyed tormenting me about it. I stopped talking to him about sports because I learned he would never respect my opinions, he would always be not nice. Its a tough lesson to learn, but it does come in handy

 

Some people live to be miserable and we just have to accept it, there are no magic words that will change their personality

 

 

[packsaddle]

OGE, that's quite a leap from starting at bondo. But you just described my grandfather. He was a brilliant but very flawed, bitter man. And he died a violent, well-deserved death. I went through a short list of people I've known and I can't find much evidence to dispute your assertion. He had a nasty personality, I have been told, from day one.

However, I am reminded of Lee Atwater (to qualify this thread for I&P). He was a despicably nasty political type until he was near death. At that time he seemed to change and apologized for what he had done. Perhaps change is possible for some of us.

[Stosh]

There's always a thin line between being demeaning and pushing to excellence. If everything is sunshine and roses, where's the initiative to improve. Pollyanna personalities strip away all opportunities for excellence.

 

Yes, I have met people who tell me things can't be done and all it ever does is motivate me to prove them wrong. Just this past week the Xerox representative told me that Microsoft's Excel program won't work on a certain printer/plotter that is in our mail room. If find his wet blanket quite amazing in that I have 12 beautiful 3' x 2' printouts on my desk right now. Even in his ignorance of his product and even less effort in correcting the problem, I still got the situation corrected in spite of him. My high school guidance counselors told me to go to work in the local foundry and at best I might be able to get into tech school for a trade. Well I have an Associates Degree, Bachelor's Degree and Master's Degree.

 

None of these people were "nice" people that did nothing but to set my personal bar low enough for my self-esteem to survive. Sorry, sometimes a kick in the butt is far more productive than a pat on the head.

 

OGE, you may not have like this gentleman, but when all the dust settles you did have someone who did take the time to talk to you about sports. May not be what you wanted to hear, but the other alternative would be for him to be nicer to you and ignore you.

 

Your mileage may vary,

 

Stosh

 

[packsaddle]

And yet, following on my interpretation of OGE's message, I know that at the right time, for the right young person, the right words from a father or a grandfather can cut a wound so deep that it lasts a lifetime. It might be a kick in the pants but it might also succeed in stifling creativity or initiative, or just dashing the dreams in a needless and gratuitous manner. The reasons for doing it don't matter - for some young persons, it is a terrible, lasting wound.

[Eamonn]

jblake47

There are times when a not so friendly kick in the pants does each of us the world of good. Having gone through Catholic Schools across the big pond, I know.

But there are some people who have never learned that at times if you can't say something nice, it's better to just keep quiet.

I don't like my Brother-In-Law. I think he is a self-opinionated twit.

I get really peeved hearing "If it wasn't for us, you'd be speaking German" (Us being the Americans.)

When it comes to cars:

On my Ford Explorer. He has:Friends don't let friends drive Fords.

My little Mercedes: Them German cars aren't that great!

HWMBO Lexus is a "Rice Burner".

The list is endless.

He just doesn't seem able to say anything nice about anything or anyone.

Worse still is the fact that 99.9% of the time he has no idea what he is talking about.

I'm almost certain that the words "I don't know." have never crossed his lips.

 

Sadly we have a group of people who aren't happy unless they are spreading their brand of doom and gloom around serving as volunteers in the Council I serve.

Nothing ever seems to be right and they not only find fault in anything and everything but seem to enjoy dwelling on what they see as being not right.

Sometimes of course they are right, but because it comes from them, no one takes any real heed or notice. This of course pleases them to no end as they can then add to their monologue "I told you so."

What really gets me is that some of these guys have great hearts and if your willing to put up with the moans and groans you find that they will do anything that you ask.

Ea.