Understanding Science

[GaHillBilly]

The issue of understanding scientific statements and publications has been part of several ongoing threads here, so I thought this lexicon of scientific terminology might be helpful. The Dyrk Schlingman to whom this list is commonly attributed appears to now be a DVM in Oregon, but apparently is no longer publishing this list himself.

 

Anyhow, on to the list:

 

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Scientific Jargon by Dyrk Schlingman, Oregon State University

 

After several years of studying and hard work, I have finally learned scientific jargon. The following list of phrases and their definitions will help you to understand that mysterious language of science and medicine.

 

IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN

I didn't look up the original reference.

 

A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT

These data are practically meaningless.

 

WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS

An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

 

THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY

The other results didn't make any sense.

 

TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN

This is the prettiest graph.

 

THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT

I might get around to this sometime, if pushed or funded.

 

THE MOST RELIABLE RESULTS ARE OBTAINED BY JONES

He was my graduate student; his grade depended on this.

 

IN MY EXPERINCE

once

 

IN CASE AFTER CASE

Twice

 

IN A SERIES OF CASES

Thrice

 

IT IS BELIEVED THAT

I think.

 

IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT

A couple of other guys think so too.

 

CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE

Wrong.

 

ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS

Rumor has it.

 

A STATISTICALLY ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS

A wild guess.

 

A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA

Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.

 

IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENA OCCURS

I don't understand it.

 

AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES

They don't understand it either.

 

THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO ANDREA SCHAEFFER FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS

Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Shaeffer explained to me what it meant.

 

A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY

A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

 

IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD

I quit.

 

 

This may be used or broadcast in any form as long as I receive credit.

 

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My older son found this, and has given it to several of his professors to their amusement and chagrin. If you've had to slog through many 'peer-reviewed' publications, you will recognize this as one of those 'true jokes', like the one about how to tell if a salesman is lying*.

 

GaHillBilly

 

 

 

*"His lips are moving!"(This message has been edited by GaHillBilly)

[Hal_Crawford]

That's great! While not purely scientific jargon I would add:

 

STATE OF THE ART EQUIPMENT

It was when we specified it but now it's obsolete.

 

Hal

[SSScout]

A worthy addition to the library shelf that also holds "Murphy's Law and it's Corollaries".

[evmori]

I always thought "State of the Art Equipment" was this is really pricey stuff but no one knows if it really works.

[HobcawChaos]

PURSUING THAT WOULD BE BEYOND THE SCOPE OF THIS STUDY

I'm too lazy to follow-up on that dumb idea