How do you view friendship?

[packsaddle]

So, as promised, I asked vol_scouter about friendship in another thread.

How do you define 'friendship' in your life?

How do you decide when another person is a 'friend' or not?

What criteria have to be met for you and another person to qualify as 'friends'?

I understand that some of us categorize different levels of friendship and some of us have a very narrow view (mine is this latter one).

Just curious to see different views on this.

[dg98adams]

I would definitely NOT consider myself a social butterfly, but if I have enough interaction with a person to create some common bonds (cements me remembering their name), I would consider that person a "friend".

 

But it would take more than that to consider that person a real life-long friend, and even more to become a "best friend".

 

 

 

[Horizon]

There is the old joke - Friends help you move, REAL Friends help you move bodies...

 

 

Then there was the stuff they taught in Junior High - Friends vs. Buddies.

 

For me, a true friend is both someone that I can talk to openly and count on. They are also someone that I will help, no questions asked (that bodies thing again). If I can count on them, and they can count on me - they are a friend.

 

There are plenty of people that I am friendLY with, but I do not consider them to truly be a friend.

[GernBlansten]

A friendship to me is someone who I trust. Usually outside my family.

Someone I can confide a problem with, who I expect them to work it with me, confidentially. Hopefully your spouse is your best friend.

 

This differs from being friendly. That implies a common courtesy. A laurel and hardy handshake. But no trust. A welcome neighbor greeting. Friendships may follow.

[walk in the woods]

Friend: Somebody I trust with almost anything (very, very few people)

Acquiantance: Somebody I know, am friendly with, might even socialize with on occassion (e.g. a work-related social gathering).

[Basementdweller]

Acquaintance- A person you have met in person, does not includes internet people.

 

Buddy-A guy you have had an adult beverage with, you met at a gathering and have some common interest. The kinda person you can BS's with garage race or tell lies around the campfire with.

 

Friend-A non family member who you can trust more than a buddy, The kinda guy you trust enough to go hunting upland bird with. This group you can hold an adult discussion with and not worry about offending anyone. the kinda guy you would share your tent with.

 

Best Friend-I view my wife as my best friend, We can talk about anything and I don't have to worry about being laughed, ridiculed or judged. but I assume we are speaking non-family member. A person you can trust beyond a normal friend, the kinda guy who you can call in the middle of the night and know he will be their. who has actually been inside your house, met your wife and kids.

 

[HiLo]

"...the kinda guy you would share your tent with."

 

Yep. One of the best definitions in a Scouting context.

 

There's a handful of people I would put in that category. Close friend is another label I would use for them. But there are certainly some people, even within Scouting, I would NEVER want to share a tent with!

[Eamonn]

Along with having very sexy knees, I'm known for being a friendly sort of fellow.

I really do try and be friendly.

Even when someone has messed up, I try to be nice and explain what they did that wasn't right and why maybe I feel upset, harmed or maybe just let down.

I seem to know a lot of people, where possible I try and know something more about them than just their name. I use this information to help put them at ease and make them aware that maybe in some way I do care about them. (Which I do!)

There are some people that I'm closer to than others. We might not see each other for very long periods of time but then when we do get together it's like we were never apart,this is especially true for my close friends back in the UK.

When I'm out (That is not in! I mean away from home, not cricket!) I like to have fun. I look for and enjoy the silly and ridiculous. I laugh a lot and really enjoy things even when they are maybe not going as well as they should. This tends to ensure that others who enjoy that sort of thing tend to hang out with me or near me. I do enjoy the limelight.

But when it comes to best friends?

I think I have about a handful.

One is still across the pond, we exchange emails a lot but don't get in each others way.

One is the guy who when OJ was born was going to get OJ is anything ever happened to HWMBO and myself. I love this guy to death and I can't think of not doing anything he ever might ask.

Strange thing is that until I read what others posted I never really thought of HWMBO as a friend.

I tend to think of her as being a part of me. We enjoy different things, enjoy our own space, but we have such a close bond that I think maybe it's more than any sort of friendship.

I also am very close to my dogs!

Kinda nice to have a friend that is always there, offers you nothing but unconditional love and doesn't answer back.

When HWMBO was first diagnosed with cancer I was mad! I was mad at the world, mad at God, just really mad. I was also trying to be "Cool" I didn't want anyone to see me upset or cry. It was my dogs who were three for me. They were my sanctuary.

Today I have over being mad. I'm thankful for the time HWMBO and I have had and hope to have.

Still everyday I'm out with the dogs, singing them silly songs (Mainly Irish folk songs with the words changed) They don't tell me to shut up or care that I'm way off key.

The new little guy - Dudley now comes running back to me when I whistle the tune or what is supposed to be the tune of The Black Velvet Band.

Anyone who can take my singing twice a day?

Now that's a friend.

Of course friendship is very much like owning a dog it needs nurtured and looked after. But the benefits are just wonderful

Eamonn.

[acco40]

Someone we would share a tent with? Come on folks, don't we expect our Scouts to be able to share a tent with all (youth) troop members?

 

I don't think I wouldn't share my tent with any (male) Scouter. I think some of us have the type of personality (conservatives?) that make the assumption that one has to earn friendship and others (liberals?) that one has to do something to lose friendship.

 

Complete strangers have allowed me, as a Scoutmaster, to take their young sons into the woods for a few days. What does that say about them?

 

Similar to the discussion on gays, if one is not considered "anti-gay" is one by default "pro-gay?" If one is friendly with someone, are they not a friend?

 

I hate to pull the old "Webster's defines it as" argument but I tend to go more with the 1b and 2a definitions (sort of the "facebook" definition - )

 

1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : acquaintance

2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group

3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)

4 : a favored companion

5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war called also Quaker