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What do you know about boys using myspace.com


mmhardy

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I'm trying to find out about adult leadership knowledge about teen use of myspace.com? 2 out of my 3 sons have a myspace account and seem to like creating their site and chatting/blogging with friends. What is your experience? What is your view of this new social network tool?

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My 13 year old son started with a xanga.com account and then moved to myspace because it was the more popular of the two. I don't have an issue with it......but I do monitor it. It has caused him to take an interest in how to code HTML and he ACTUALLY is picking up a book on his own and reading about it. Amazing what a boy is willing to do when he takes an interest in something.

 

From what I understand, you can limit who has access to your myspace or have it wide open where anyone can get to it. Like I said, I monitor my son's myspace periodically. Some of his school mates have less than nice language and they tend to use words that are not allowed in our house. He catches a lot of it on his own and deletes it when it happens. I let him know when I see it and tell him I want it cleaned up. I have even told him not to give a few of his buddies access due to repeated inappropriate language. His other option is to shut his page down.

 

I started to hit the submit button and had another thought. Please, please make sure you monitor their page. I click on the pages of some of my son's friends and am shocked at what I find....both boys and girls. I have to believe that their parents have no idea what they are up to.

 

It is all in how it is used whether or not it is a bad thing.

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MySpace, like any tool, be it a gun, a knife or a blunt object is neither good or bad, it is just a tool. As with any tool it may be used for good or for not so good. The same rules apply for MySpace as they would for any internet activity. No use of real name, address, phone number, etc. The intimacy that MySpace exudes may trick youth into thinking only "cool" alright people exist there and that may not be accurate.

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I have 2 teenage girls, 1 LOVES it. the other doesn't have the time for it. My son is only 13 and more interested in Runscape than MySpace. Our athletic director at our high school told parents 2+ years ago to monitors kids activities on thses type web links because some were doing and saying things that could actually get them in ALOT of trouble. My husband went and expored it when no one was at home one day and said it was a glorified porn site. Our middle daughter told us she was just using it to communicate with friends on other side of town and wasn't out except for her close friends. So we allowed and have just monitered it VERY close.It all comes down to parent attention and how much space you feel comfortable giving your child.

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The terms of service (TOS) of Myspace are that members must be 14 or older. My 12 year old nephews and niece have accounts, and they list their ages as 19. Their parents didn't see anything wrong with this since "all of their friends are doing it". That is, until my son (age 27) took them on a tour of myspace and showed them their children's pages, full of sex talk, hate speech, provocative pictures and lies.

 

Personally, I think that's irresponsible and sends your children the wrong message. Any scout who lies about his age to join is not "Trustworthy".

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OGE and Ed have hit the nail square on. Like any tool, My Space can be good or bad. I have an account on My Space which I started only because local school districts in my area started making a big issue out of what kids were doing on the site and I wanted to do my own investigations before making any snap judgements. I found a number of alumni of my college on My Space and chatted with one who is a National Park Ranger and got information about what to see and do there (and an invitation for a "back stage" tour when I do come by).

 

Immature kids will do dumb and stupid things on it - and frankly, if you're 17 and are stupid enough to post pictures of your self bombed out of your gourd standing around a keg doing beer bongs, you get what you deserve.

 

All the local-media fueled hysteria about the My Space stuff here makes me want to paraphrase what may be a familiar song to some:

 

Oh we got trouble

Right here in River City

It starts with a T

But doesn't rhyme with M

And that stands for My Space

 

CalicoPenn

 

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Ditto what Ed, Calico and OGE said.

 

I have a myspace account, and many of the kids in the crew are my "friends". It's just like any other internet or tech media. It's the parents responsibility to monitor thier kids activities.

I don't allow my daughter to use the internet unless I'm there.

 

 

 

 

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A few words of caution - corporate recruiters and human resource teams now use Google and other search engines to gather information on prospective job candidates. What they find does influence their decisions if they feel the candidate does not fit in with their corporate image.

 

Also, did anyone see the parody skit on either MAD TV or SNL the other week? They had a class for students on how to use myspace.com and all of the students were middle aged men of questionable backgrounds. It was quite humorous.

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Monitoring your child's activity closely and having a profile on MySpace is fine, but if you really are interested in just what type of people populate the site day and night, set up an account and make yourself a 14 year-old girl, and another as a 14 year-old boy. Log on to a chat that looks active, but not over-crowded. Now count to ten. That is usually the maximum length of time for the first pedophile to make and "approach". Keep up the sharade of a young girl. Try to "sound" just like your daughter (or son), with mispells, paraphrasings, and the like. When asked if YOU personally would like to see their cam, say yes. What you will then witness I can not put on this site. This isn't over zealous hype and rumor from others. If a person truly wants to test a site, then that person needs to make themselves a target the same way most young teens will make themselves a target. If asked to turn on your cam, say mom or dad won't let you get one until next week, month, whatever. If you keep chatting with these pervs, at some point in the near future they will ask to meet you. Put a city in your profile that you know but is not your own. Watch how fast they ask to "meet" you in person.

 

This is a new world, far removed from the one in which I advocated for open internet twenty, or even ten years ago. My own son wants a myspace account. I am still abstaining, because then the whole rest of the crew would all want to get one and chat together. I have not yet decided if the benefits outweigh the risks, not to mention the fact of making it appear their advisor condones the site (and all they are about to see on it). Will all their parents be dilligent about monitoring their practices? The one that worries me the most is the one with the least parental oversight and a computer wide open for his use all day long without monitoring.

 

By the way, if anyone does test this site to this point, and doesn't end up throwing up, or causing damage to their system, the FBI and state agencies would love to have you pose as a minor in order to help catch these people. It is so pervasive they need volunteers to log hours each week just to try to keep their head above water.

 

CalicoPenn - It's great you found friends, but do you grasp the amount of "live porn" offered to youth? This includes clips of very young minors with adults, all piped directly to your little darling live.

 

So check it out for yourself, but check it thoroughly, then make your decision. Good luck & God Bless.

 

 

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The internet can be a great place for doing research, chatting with friends, connecting with old friends, getting and giving advice (example - this forum). Like any "community" - it can be a risky place too. As mentioned by others, when the "little darlings" are online - the parent should be monitoring what's going on - if that means rules that your darling child who never does anything wrong can't be online unless its in a public place in the house, library, school where s/he can be monitored - then create that rule for your house. It is one of the responsibilities that comes with being a parent - monitoring what the kids are doing.

 

The internet and it's many points of access/chat is a tool - its up to you to monitor your kid's use of that tool. The complaints being bandied around about My Space are the same complaints that have been faced by AOL, Yahoo, etc., and will be faced by the next 100 big new things out there. If you don't want your kids on My Space, block My Space. Will that prevent unwanted advances, requests to allow web cam viewing, availability of porn? No, it won't. Parents being vigilant about what their kids are doing online will (and frankly, being one that inhabits chat rooms on an online service, it would be refreshing for a parent to keep their precious little brat from polluting the chat rooms with their nonsense).

 

Point is stop blaming web platforms and access providers for poor parenting - those of us who are adults and want free and unfettered access to legal information (even if we never access it or never intend to access it) will thank you.

 

CalicoPenn

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Point is stop blaming web platforms and access providers for poor parenting - those of us who are adults and want free and unfettered access to legal information (even if we never access it or never intend to access it) will thank you.

 

Excellent point, Calico! There are too many parents who use the internet & TV as babysitters!

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

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