Respect

[t158sm]

Is it easier to show respect to a person in the flesh than it is to faceless words on the internet?

Of course it is.

On the net can we have the audacity that anonymity brings. But we are all still human beings and should have the decency as such (especially as Scouts) not to treat one another with impudence.

On Thursday night I talked to my Scouts about respect during my minute.

I asked them - if they wanted to be respected?

Every one of them said yes.

I then asked - what is the best way to be respected?

One bright young Scout quickly said - to respect other people first.

I told him that was exactly the answer I had wanted.

More and more respect is something that becomes the rarity rather than the norm.

Society has changed that way.

Don't we owe it to the Scouts we serve to be that examples that our world so desperately needs now.

God Bless Everyone this weekend. I'll be gone to our camporee. It'll will be interesting to see what replies are here Sunday.

[Lisabob]

t158, that's a very good observation. Whenever I've gone to scout functions I've always approached them by supposing that every scouter there is a decent person who is working his or her hardest to provide the program to the boys as best they can. We have that in common no matter what else we may disagree on. And so every scouter can be a "friend to others" based on that common ground. On occasion I've left this particular forum really wondering about that above assumption though.

 

What really gets me is that there are times when someone will post in other parts of the site in what seems like a pretty reasonable tone, regardless of whether one agrees or disagrees with the substance of the post. But then sometimes those same people enter this part of the board and all reasonable respect for others seems to have been left behind.

 

Lisa'bob

[DanKroh]

We discussed freely giving vs. earning respect on another thread here a couple of months ago.

 

I agree that respect is something that is given, not earned. But it can also be lost. I am saddened to admit that I have lost respect for some of the Scouters who regularly post here, and I'm sure that those same Scouters probably do not hold me in high esteem because of my beliefs and opinions.

 

However, even when someone has lost my respect, I do still try to treat them with civility. Not being perfect, I'm know I do sometimes fail at that, but I will strive to do my best.

 

But I would like to give a big thank you to all the posters who DO maintain civil discourse, even when debating topics they feel passionate about. You set the bar for the rest of us....

[funscout]

t158sm: Thanks for bringing this topic up. In a different thread, I mentioned that some of the angry posts remind me of road rage, since both are anonymus situations.

 

Although I would like to see everyone be civil and respectful at all times, I do realize that our human weaknesses sometimes get the best of us. In those cases, I really appreciate seeing apologies, after the heat of the situation is over. I know that I have unintentionally offended some people on this forum. I have apologized to those who told me about it, and would certainly want to heal any hurts I may have caused that I don't know about.

 

I'm going to paraphrase an article that I read once (I think it was in Dear Abby) that was about gossip, but it pertains to respect, as well:

 

There is so much good in the worst of us

and so much bad in the best of us

that it doesn't behoove any of us

to talk about the rest of us.

 

I probably haven't quoted that exactly right, but I do like the message.

[Oak Tree]

Lisa'bob,

 

If you find yourself wondering now, you should go back and read some of the old threads from a couple years ago, when it seemed like every thread would end up in some type of bickering. I find the current group of posters greatly improved. Not perfect, as you point out, but a huge step in the right direction. There were posters getting suspended, and a number of people took to squelching certain other posters so that they wouldn't have to read their responses.

 

But yes, I do think that we should show each other great respect on these forums. I try to assume that I'm talking to the other person the way I would face-to-face, and as you say, to assume that they have good intentions.

 

To answer one of the questions in the original post - what is the best way to be respected? I only sort-of agree with the answer that it's to show respect. Maybe if you mean, the best way to get people to be polite to you is to be polite to them. But the people I really respect are the ones who are polite and who also know what they're talking about. When the new Scouts show up, which older Scout gets respected? The quiet shy boy who's always polite, but isn't very good at Scouting and doesn't teach them much? Or the one who knows his stuff and jumps in to teach the new boys what he can?

 

So I'd say that showing respect is a necessary, but not sufficient, way to get respect.

 

Oak Tree

 

P.S. I'll also say that this discussion could get confused over different meanings of the word 'respect'. When you talk about it, think about which definition you mean:

1. courteous regard for people's feelings

or

2. an attitude of admiration or esteem

[Hubert01]

Respect is something you have to earn. On the internet, we should treat others with respect, not just because we are scouts, but we are all trying to make our troop/pack/crew better. I asked a question, and was put down because I am a member of a troop and dont need to be asking those questions. But in reality, it was just asking how do I deal with a troublesome boy, I am just a Jr. Ast. Scoutmaster in the troop and am working on my Eagle rank, but I want my troop to have the best, so I ask others on here for answers, sometimes getting shunned out or disrespected for it.

[baden]

Hear, hear!! I agree totally with what DanKroh had to say. Civility is the key. You may not respect the opinions of a poster, but we should all try to respond in a civil manner. People should be able to disagree without being disagreeable.

[BrentAllen]

I don't use an alias for one main reason - I don't post anything here that I wouldn't say in person. I've been accused of ranting, but what I've stated in those posts, I would say directly to the person, face to face.

As for respect, it is hard for me to respect those who want to change the program to allow atheists and gays. Some of us feel these requirements - straight, believe in God - are two of the backbones of the program. To us, they are essential. Getting rid of them would change the whole dynamics, negatively.

I get lectured by some for being condescending. Comments like "when the BSA comes into the 21st Century and allows gays and atheists..." is very condesceding, implying the rest of us are neanderthals.

The BSA has gone to court on these issues, all the way to the Supreme Court. Does anyone really think they are going to change their mind now?

In nearly every state where a ban on gay marriage has been offered, the huge majorities have been in favor of the ban, even in Oregon. So why do some here think the BSA is "out of touch with mainstream America" because they won't allow gays?

The BSA is facing enough challenges and attackes from those outside the program - we don't need them from within.

If you want my respect, then don't try to gut the program of essential elements. If you don't like the program as it is, then start your own secular program. Be the secular B-P of the 21st Century. If there is so much demand for a secular program, it should be a huge hit! The numbers should grow like kudzu! Set up the structure without the evil National HQ, and all those high-salaried executives! Instead of trying to destroy my program, start your own! Why is this so hard to grasp?

[t158sm]

"But we are all still human beings and should have the decency as such (especially as Scouts) not to treat one another with impudence."

 

That in a nutshell was the was the point from my original post on this thread.

 

If you treat another person with respect (civility, dignity, politeness, etc.) - this greatly increases your odds of being treated with respect in return.

 

"More and more respect is something that becomes the rarity rather than the norm.

Society has changed that way."

 

Simple observations at the camporee this weekend gave me proof to that.