Gay-Friendly God Smites Boy Scouts

[fgoodwin]

Gay-Friendly God Smites Boy Scouts

 

http://www.deadbrain.com/news/article_2005_08_10_1903.php

 

Aug 10 2005 by Spinner Street

 

Instead of a feel-good event where boys revel in being boys, this year's annual Boy Scouts of America National Jamboree faced storms, deaths, electrocutions, horrors of biblical proportion, and a visit from President Bush.

 

The nightmare in Falls Church, VA has some wondering just what went wrong. Throughout history, wholesome, God-fearing groups have been favored with good weather during important annual festivities designed to showcase their right-mindedness.

 

But the Jamboree had deteriorated to such a state that President Bush playfully quipped, "You'd be better off in Iraq than here. I know where you can sign up!"

 

Others agreed. "Just look at the Jonestown massacre, they had excellent weather," grumbled one scoutmaster whose legs had broken after a giant replica merit badge for knot tying blew over on him during a thunderstorm. "They had perfect weather for their special day, and darn it, we deserve the same!"

 

Such was the consensus throughout the Jamboree, following an array of mishaps that called into question not only the preparedness of the Boy Scouts but also their closeness with God. Not only had the group been caught without body bags - let alone proper funeral supplies - they also seemed to be caught off guard with each successive disaster.

 

As scouts and their leaders attempt to heal from the physical and emotional wounds inflicted on them, some have begun suspecting God of "going gay."

 

"How else can you explain it?" demanded Jared Pabulum, a scout leader form Provo Utah. "It's as though we drove His people from our midst and now He's smiting us." (The Boy Scouts went to the Supreme Court to win the right to expel gay scouts.)

 

Adding credence to the otherwise ludicrous speculation is the fact that God has been frequenting His local YMCA, where He's been spotted "working out" up to three times a week despite having a full Nautilus-brand home exercise system at home. "God merely enjoys the camaraderie and support of working out at the Y," explained spokesperson Ramone Bain. "There's nothing gay about that."

 

Bain, however, could not explain Will and Grace's 15 Emmy award nominations.

[SemperParatus]

Is there a purpose to posting such garbage?

[Bob White]

The article is one of social satire, the quotes are not genuine, even some of the people named are more likely staffers at the web site or those of friends who they promised to get their name in an article. They do not even have the location of the event correct.

 

Laugh at it weakly then move on with your life.

[fgoodwin]

"Garbage" is in the eye of the beholder.

 

I may be posting this "garbage", but don't assume I agree with it; I am as big a supporter of the traditional values of Scouting as you'll find.

 

I'm sorry if this "garbage" offends, but I think its good to remind ourselves occasionally what the BSA-bashers have to say about it.

 

 

[fgoodwin]

Bob, the error in the location was my first clue -- good catch.

[OldGreyEagle]

when the website address contains the word "deadbrain" its hard to take anything from it serious

[OldGreyEagle]

(This message has been edited by OldGreyEagle)

[fgoodwin]

True, the website is devoted to "satire" and "humor". Still, I believe it reflects the general view of those who oppose the BSA's membership policies.

 

And I think it instructive to consider just how far they will go to picture BSA in the worst light possible, for example, by turning BSA's religious principles against it.

[NJCubScouter]

Obviously it is a satire, and like many attempts at humor it suffers from not being very funny. But to take it at all seriously as "BSA bashing" is ridiculous. The whole site is filled with parodies and satire, and although most of them seem to be from the "left" side of the aisle, I scrolled down and saw some fun being poked at John Kerry and (dare I say the name in this forum?) Hillary Clinton as well. I am sure I could find some sites that do the same thing from the opposite side of the aisle.

 

This thread is just another example of the whole "BSA as victim" theme that has been promoted lately in this forum, not just by fgoodwin but by others as well. I have heard it said that it is the "left" in this country that promotes a "victim mentality," but some of the BSA's "friends" seem to want to place it in the "victim" role too. Personally I don't see how this helps the BSA.

[NJCubScouter]

Fgoodwin says:

 

True, the website is devoted to "satire" and "humor". Still, I believe it reflects the general view of those who oppose the BSA's membership policies.

 

As one of those who does oppose at least one of the BSA's membership policies, I have to ask, which part of the article do you think "reflects" our "general view"? Do you think we believe that President Bush told the Jamboree "You'd be better off in Iraq than here. I know where you can sign up!"? Do you think we think God smote the Boy Scouts because of their anti-gay stance? Do you think we think God works out at the local Y? Which part of that do you think reflects our general view? (For some reason I now want to say, "Waddya mean, funny? How'm I funny? Like a clown?... But I digress.)

 

Well, if you DO think it reflects our general view, that might explain a few things.

 

Or maybe you mean that we think the BSA's policy is wrong and harmful to the organization, and this article takes that position to a ridiculous extreme? I think that would be the definition of "satire." Jonathan Swift wanted to make a point about the allocation of resources in Great Britain during his time, but I don't think he actually thought children sholud be on the dinner menu.

 

(For those who miss the literary allusions here, we have Goodfellas, 1980-something, and A Modest Proposal, 16-something-something.)

 

 

[SemperParatus]

'body bags and funeral supplies'...

 

Excuse me but this is completely lacking in respect for those scouters that died and their families. I can only pray that one of those family members does not come across this posting, which will forever have your name next to it, Fred.

 

There is no humor here. There is no satire. Only ugliness.

 

Fred, I believe it is a shame that you posted this to try and make a point about what 'BSA bashers' are saying. Let the bashers say what they will...those that desire to uphold the 'traditional values' of scouting are not serving those values by repeating their filth.

 

While I appreciate your passing on noteworthy articles about scouting, this one was better left behind.

[Fuzzy Bear]

 

Jared Pabulum. I think I met him. I believe he is the Sub-way guy.

 

Small world.

 

[fgoodwin]

SP: I appreciate your comments. In a few weeks, the original article will be long gone and any links to it will break.

 

But posting the article here preserves it. I think it is worth preserving, again, to see to what extremes the opponents of BSA will go.

 

NJCS: yes, it is satire -- but its not too far a stretch to go from the unvarnished BSA (and GWB) bashing of the Rick Mercier editorial ("Bush spectacle at Scout jamboree had little to do with reality") to the more thinly veiled form of bashing we politely call satire.

 

And yes, this article, although it is satire, is BSA-bashing at its finest (or worst, depending on your POV).

[evmori]

I'm with Semper on this one. What is the point of posting this? Satire is a form of humor that is not always to the liking of the masses.

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[Hunt]

Yes, it's awful to have our group insulted in this way, to have well-meaning people accused of evil motives, and to be called names.

 

That's why we should all be even more devoted to the friendly and courteous values of Scouting, and to never use such insults, namecalling, or unfair generalizations, even against those who disagree with us, like gays, lawyers and the ACLU. Right?