Advice for dealing with alleged boy on boy abuse?

[Freddy]

Here is the situation.

 

On a Troop campout one of the two scouts sharing a tent accused the other scout of attempting to fondle him. The accuser has a clear memory of the event while the accused maintains he was sleeping and has no memory of the events. Parties informed were the PA, CC and SM. The issue was brought up with the parents of the accused whose comment was the son is a restless sleeper and tends to thrash about in his sleep. Without going into detail, the description of the events by the accuser was more than just someone thrashing about in his sleep.

 

Currently the solution at the Troop level is to watch the accused boy more closely and place backpacks/duffel bags between him and whomever else he tents with. Understandably the parents of the accuser are not happy with this solution and are seeking advice on what to do next. The PA is also understandably nervous about putting a potential abuser who is in their charge in a tent with another boy.

 

It is also unclear at this point if the SM or CC seeked advice from District/Council or if they are trying to address it within the Patrol only.

[evmori]

What's a PA?

 

Has this Scout ever been accused of anything like this before? Did anything happen that day that might lead the accuser to make a false accusation?

 

Ed Mori

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[NJCubScouter]

The Guide to Safe Scouting says in bold type:

 

Allegations by a Scout concerning abuse in the program must be reported to the Scout executive.

 

If a Scout says that another Scout "fondled" him while they were sharing a tent, that is an "allegation concerning abuse in the program." I don't see any room for interpretation here. This should have been reported immediately to your Scout Executive.

 

There is more about this in the Guide to Safe Scouting but you can read it online at the BSA web site. Probably the most important point (other than the one quoted above) is that there should have been no discussion about this allegation within the troop. It should have been kept confidential other than reporting it to the SE.

[Freddy]

Thanks for the information from the Guide to Safe Scouting. Reading further down in the same chapter however, I find the following statement under unit responsibilities.

 

"The unit should inform the Scout executive about all incidents that result in a physical injury or involve allegations of sexual misconduct by a youth member with another youth member."

 

From this I'm lead to believe the unit is supposed to be informed of allegations between youth members and they "should" not "must" pass these allegations on to the Scout executive.

 

Also, I'm a bit confused as to who the Scout executive is. Is this the

District Commisioner or is there normally a deadicated person to take complaints?

[FScouter]

It is NOT your responsibility to investigate. It IS your responsibility to report. Straight from Youth Protection training.

[FScouter]

The district commissioner is NOT the Scout Executive. Get out the telephone book and look up BSA. Call the council office and ask to speak to the Scout Executive about a child abuse incident on a troop campout. You WILL get through to the Scout Executive. You do not need to be a Scout leader to make this call.

[johndaigler]

Freddy, Welcome!, though I wish you were here for better reasons. I'm sorry that you're caught up in this.

 

IMHO,

 

"Should" means SHOULD - don't think too hard about it. The expectation is that you report it to the SE. Whichever adult was first told about this by the accuser should have contacted the SE, WITHOUT discussing it with other adults.

 

I know that seems a bit counter-intuitive, but the privacy of both the accused and the accuser are paramount - and this process also helps get the people involved closer to the truth, appropriate consequences, and healing if needed. This isn't a situation that gets a Troop level solution.

 

A 25 minute video hardly makes any of us professionals regarding sexual abuse and working with the people involved in suspected cases. No surprise that we try to think our way through the crisis, but that's why YPT is very clear and this particular topic is repeated in other training, and spelled out in the G2SS. Most of us don't truly know what to do - so we should follow the prescribed plan.

 

The apparent openess with which this has been handled is to be avoided. Though I'm sure you're trying to do the best for everyone, your unit's actions have judged the accused. You've put isolating (punishing) conditions on the accused based on the comments of the accuser. (With complete respect for the alleged injury to the accused, and with no intent to minimize its seriousness) That public punishment may in the end be more damaging to the accused than anything that happened to the accuser.

 

Why have you chosen to believe one boy over the other?

 

You say the accuser's parents aren't happy? If I were you, I'd also be concerned about the parents of the accused.

 

jd(This message has been edited by johndaigler)

[madkins007]

Freddy- my sympathies in a tough situation. (What IS a PA? Patrol Advisor?)

 

1. Take Youth Protection Training (YPT) ASAP, and get all of the other leaders in your unit in it as well.

 

2. Usually at YPT they give you the phone numbers you need to report an incident locally- the Scout Exec's if Scouting is involved, and local Child Protective Services if not. It is an unfortunate reality that we really need to keep those numbers on hand.

 

3. Right now, at least 8 people know about the accusation and are already, based on your note, treating the boys differently. This is unfair if the accused is innocent- it will take a long time for the stigma to fade. Even the accuser will be marked by this in some way.

 

4. To make matters a bit more interesting, you are supposed to report such things within 24 hours AND in the jurisdiction they occured in. At camp, that may or may not be the same as your home council.

 

 

 

Realistically, the way this should have gone down (in perfect 20-20 hindsight) would have been for the accuser to go to an adult leader. That adult leader should have taken immediate steps to prevent another potential incident WITHOUT making judgement on who was right or who was wrong, AND while not alerting the unit to the problem.

 

(In this case, probably setting it up so both Scouts were either in their own tent, or in seperate tents with two leaders each in them already. The rest of the unit only need know that the two had problems sleeping- about the same way you'd probably handle night-time homesickness or bed-wetting.) Both boys should also be admonished to not talk about it to anyone else at this time.

 

Heck, if the accused is still asleep, all you need to do to finish the camp off safely is find a new place for the accuser and leave the other boy to sleep for now. I do not believe it is necessary at this stage to confront him.

 

If another leader needed to be involved for some step, so be it, but it should be handled purely on a 'need to know' basis to protect the rights and privacy of EVERYONE involved. Quite frankly, the SM and CC are not automatically on that need to know list. They may need a rough outline of the situation, but not necessarily the details.

 

As soon as practical, the proper authorities should be contacted and asked for guidance. Thankfully- you don't have to do this alone!

[orennoah]

Another way of looking at this:

 

I instruct the other adults in my Troop that they should not think of it as "Youth Protection," but as "Adult Protection."

 

Forinstance, one should always avoid one on one, out of sight, situations with youth, not because you feel you might be tempted to abuse, but to protect yourself from any false accusations of abuse. With our YPT rules, you would have a heck of a time explaining why you got yourself into such a situation and convince anyone it was not for an evil purpose.

 

Here, you will not have anyone accuse you of any sort of improper act or failure to take proper action if you do what the Guide to Safe Scouting tells you to do. No one can hold you liable for reporting what it tells you to report.

 

However, what are you going to do if the accused groper gropes someone else and you didn't report the first incident? You could be in a world of hurt. The accusation of "cover up" would come really easily and, again, you would have a very hard time explaining why you deviated from your Youth Protection Training and the GTSS.

 

Sorry to sound harsh, but this is serious, nasty stuff and being guided by good intentions is absolutely no protection for you.

 

Treat is as Adult Protection and you will be fine and the youth will be properly served.

 

- Oren

[bbng]

I'd call the SE immediately, let him know what you know, including how things have been discussed and how one boy has been treated. The SE will guide you in what you should do now, and the rest (any investigation) will remain unknown to you. Your part is to call the SE and no one else. If the parents have complaints, there is no reason they can't call the SE too, IMO. That goes for both boys in this situation. I see nothing good coming of staying quiet about this in respect to the SE, and I wish you well as you call the SE. It's not a fun thing to do, but it's very important, and you seem to know you need to do something. Welcome to the forums.(This message has been edited by bbng)

[ScoutNut]

"In this case, probably setting it up so both Scouts were either in their own tent, or in seperate tents with two leaders each in them already."

 

Sorry Madkins007, but this is a YP no-no.

 

No youth can sleep in a tent with an adult (or even 2) who is not his parent.

 

 

Freddy, what position (youth or adult) do you hold in this Troop?

 

If I were you, I would do my best to protect the privacy of BOTH the involved youth. Do not talk about this to the other boys or their families. If you have questions you should ask the SM.

 

I hope this has a good resolution for all involved.

 

[cajuncody]

Well, the stuff will probably hit the fan anyway but here is what I would do (regardless of my position in the pack) I would call the SE (council will connect you) then I would set up a meeting for all adults in the pack/troop and do Youth Protection Training. At the training I wouldn't mention and particular incident just do the training only. The training itself will tell everyone involved what should have happened without telling those who don't already know what they shouldn't know. I would end with a few words about confidentiality and it would end there as the situation will be out of your hands and in the hands of the SE where it belongs.

Kristi

[KoreaScouter]

When my duties used to include responding to traffic accidents, we were trained to first, "prevent the accident from getting worse". That is, lifesaving first aid, marking the site so another motorist didn't crash into the wreckage, turning off ignitions, keeping bystanders back, minimizing fire/explosion risks, etc. Ambulances and fire trucks are on their way; these are some things the cops do when they first get there and the other responders are on their way.

 

I think there are some parallels between traffic accidents and a YP situation like this. I believe it's a unit responsibility to keep a YP incident from getting worse until the professionals do their thing. There are steps unit leaders can take that respect the privacy of all involved, and at the same time be responsive to YP concerns surrounding an allegation, including tenting alone, or a parent accompanying. Every situation's different, and the responses will be different, too.

 

These incidents are unpleasant, no matter how they turn out. I don't think unit leaders can take a "hands-off" position once an incident is reported to council. That doesn't mean you put it in the monthly newsletter, but you have a responsibility to provide a safe environment. And, that extends across the board. If I have a camp stove I think might have a problem, we'll ask the QM to notify the Equipment Chair that it needs a check and perhaps an overhaul. But, in the meantime, we're also telling him to pull it from the patrol kit and not use the thing until it gets a thumbs-up. Why wouldn't the same logic apply to a YP situation?

 

KS

 

 

[Eagledad]

Hi All

 

>> I would end with a few words about confidentiality and it would end there as the situation will be out of your hands and in the hands of the SE where it belongs.

[cajuncody]

Sorry, I need to clarify, I sent that last message on my way out the door. The reason I said "Out of your hands" is because I meant that personally to the poster, the troop/unit/pack will still have responsibility here. Since the poster refered to the SM and CC I was assuming (bad to do I know) that meant the poster had a much lesser position in the group and I really think that the council folks and SE will probably deal with the pack leadership from the top down (as was done in my area not too long ago).

As far as what to do on upcoming camp outs, I would invite both sets of parents to come along and help. Then it would be easy to have the boys bunk in with their parents. The only problem with this is that it would call attention to the boys yet again. Of couse who knows if they will even attend after all is said and done.

Kristi