Using assumed names

[Zahnada]

I once had a private message conversation with a poster who felt they were being bullied by others in this forum. When they first joined, they had a very strong debate with some of the "senior" members of the forum. Afterward, he felt as if nothing he posted was ever right and that certain members would pick him out and criticize his posts. But it seemed as if they were only criticizing because of him and not because of the content of the actual post.

 

He felt as if he couldn't make meaningful contributions to the forum because certain members would rip apart anything he posted. He just wanted to start anew.

 

Would it be wrong for this poster to register a new name and completely shed his old identity?

 

Under such circumstances, if he never used the old name again, I think this would be an appropriate course of action.

[SR540Beaver]

Zahnada,

 

Under such circumstances, I think it would be OK. If I were that person, I'd let the admin and/or mods know what I was doing and why.

 

I've been a member of many many other forums of all types. There are group dynamics in internet forums just like there is in real life. People become friends. The old timers carry a certain amount of gravitas. Some people are considered a little kooky, but tolerated. It is the new kid on the block that is always suspect. Especially if he comes in and starts trying to challenge people. I'm not saying this person you speak of did this, I'm just telling you my observations of the internet community as a whole. Some forums are really mean and nasty. Just join a political forum and you'll beging to understand how and why we are living in a polarized nation. People get so filthy and nasty that they get banned from these sites.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that becoming a member of a forum isn't unlike joining a church, a troop, a sports team, starting a new school, a new job or moving to a new neighborhood. You are an outsider entering into a group of insiders. Some groups of insiders are nice and welcoming and some are very resistant. In either case, you kind of have to feel your way and see where you fit until everyone is comfortable with everyone else. Then good things usually begin to happen. If someone comes in like gangbusters and starts challenging people and trying to change things, they are met with resistance. Even if they back off later, the damage has already been done and they are suspect in some people's minds.

 

In cases where tempers have flaired, I would possibly try to reinsert myself into the forum as a "new" user if being a member was that important to me. I sure wouldn't do whatever it was that set the rest of the group off again. But I would tell the admin what I was up to.

[le Voyageur]

 

There have been a few forums (but not this one) where I've thought about using another handle when the loathing of all things French started.....but, for me, tis better to be a thorn than a rose and stay with the shadow I cast.....But with FOG, I gotta agree. Were a few times I've thought about posting my responce three or four times to cover all those different personalities....

[packsaddle]

le Voyageur, it is just possible that I DID post to several of those personalities. Anyway, about the French thing, (just hijacking the topic for a moment) I just read an article in New York magazine that asked the question, why has there NOT been another strike like 9/11 in the USA, more specifically NY City? One of the several reasons given by a very credible source (I can't recall it offhand) was that although France has refused to send their military to Iraq, they have been extremely helpful to us and the British by freely sharing their intelligence. They have a far better intelligence organization than any other country for information on the middle east and specifically their information was credited with preventing more than one repeat of the 9/11 terrorist attack in the UK and in this country. I think Americans should reconsider their griping about French non-support of this war of choice.

[Eamonn]

Packsaddle,

I will have to sleep on the idea that the French ever did anything for anyone who wasn't French. Great Cheese, Great Wine and I have a really funny story about me taking Her Who Must Be Obeyed to Paris on the cheap. Our travel agent informed us that our hotel was "A little bit in the red light district!!" Which is a kin to being a little bit pregnant.

Still getting back to this Name Thing.

I kinda think we all have "Ideas" about who is going to respond in what way to different threads. We may have people that even if we disagree with them, we admire and allow them "In." Thus allowing the little Grey cells to start working. Even Merilyn, who at one time I begged to go away and annoy someone else, does at times get me thinking -Not agreeing with him but thinking.

I enjoy hearing how things are going with some of the other Forum Members, even those who I have crossed swords with. There have been times when someone in the forum has seemed to go a little bit over board and a couple of us have talked on the phone or via E-mail, asking each other "What the heck is so and so doing?" Often this is the main topic of conversation in the chat room.

While I firmly believe that the Forum can be a very useful tool. People can ask for advise or help and people can offer help and advise. Still at the end of the day we have no way of knowing who the other guy is. I say that I'm Eamonn, a Queens Scout, a District Chairman. But who knows I could be someone that was asked to leave years ago for doing something really dumb. No one is ever going to lose any sleep about what goes on in this Forum. Not that, that gives us any right to behave in a rude or disrespectful way.

I do know of one person in the forum who did change her identity she asked Terry and gave what must have been an OK reason for wanting to do so.

Eamonn

[le Voyageur]

Forgive me for doing a bit of hijacking, but the topic of crossing swords is an interesting side subject. Why is it that there are those, who instead of staying civil and respectfull, elect to draw blood at every opportunity? When you consider the negative effects of this behavior, and that it serves no real purpose, it seems that in effect it's little more than cyber bullying by trolls looking for their next victum/s...