eisely Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 For you paranoids out there, who fear the feds and patriot act, listen up....you could be living in the UK. ___________________ Scout's bible in Osama terror ban It's Laden Powell By Keith Gladdis, Deputy Political Editor THE Boy Scouts' official handbook has been blacklisted by the governmentbecause it could be used as a training manual by Osama bin Laden. For almost 100 years the scout and cub movement has sworn by Scouting For Boys, written by founder and Boer war hero Lord Baden-Powell. It teaches youngsters survival in the wild. But forget Akela, it's al-Qaeda Whitehall fears. Anti-terror chiefs are convinced fanatics will use the book. Under the Terrorism Act 2000 merely owning a copy puts you in the frame. Labour MP Bob Marshall-Andrews confirmed: "I've seen it on a list of books in an indictment. It's undoubtedly an offence just to possess it." The book's vital gen includes advice to take care when felling timber "lest you miss the tree and chop your own leg". The legislation was designed to hit bomb-making guides such as The Terrorists' Handbook. But while it is unlikely scout troops will be hauled off to Guantanamo Bay, MP Bob insists the law is so broad it could snare the innocent. A Scout Association boss said their book is based on high moral principles, such as loving all fellow humans, and added: "Our movement condemns all acts of terrorism." But, if you spot anyone suspicious with a beard, a woggle and a talent for lighting fires by rubbing sticks together, call the cops. Be prepared! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eisely Posted March 1, 2004 Author Share Posted March 1, 2004 I forgot to source the original post. This comes from the highly reliable news source, the "News of the World." Go to the link, there is more there than I can paste. http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/story_pages/news/news5.shtml Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJCubScouter Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 I'm confused. What is it about the book that made someone, even someone who is insane, think that there was something wrong with it? And I don't get whether there is actually a list that the handbook is on, or whether the definition of prohibited material is written so broadly that someone is just saying, hey, this is so broad it could include the Scout Handbook. Logically I would think it was the latter, but then there is that part in the story about the handbook being listed in an indictment. ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eisely Posted March 1, 2004 Author Share Posted March 1, 2004 NJCubScouter, You are taking this far too seriously. Did you check the link? The sidebar stuff is hilarious. If somebody really did put the handbook on such a list, then they are a satire of themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJCubScouter Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Oh. Now I checked the web site. I see, it's supposed to be funny. I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor. Unfortunately, this web site shares a tendency that I personally find in most British humor (or humour): It's not funny. Of course the occasional geniuses come along such as Monty Python and Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), and they're funny. But I'm talking about the day-to-day stuff that's supposed to be funny, and most of it seems like one big inside joke to me. Like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuzzy Bear Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Accordingly, the terrorists are able to use the Boy Scout Handbook. From Al Jazera, the top 10 ways. 1. Know how to live in the out of doors, especially in small holes in the ground. 2. Know how to sharpen you knife and axe. 3. Light a very small three match fire using camel dung only. 4. Cook a meal without utensils. Do this hurriedly and in the dark. 5. Cook a meal using only things found in the desert. 6. No trace camping. 7. Take a fifty mile bee-line hike to the Pakistan border with everything you own. 8. Know the proper placement of patches on the Boy Scout Uniform and how one can wear said uniform in such a way as to get by the border guards. 9. Track or trail a little animal or any kind of animal over or around a sand dune without making a sound. 10. Recite the Oath and Law while running at full speed. I think I am beginning to understand. FB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eamonn Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Wow this is the first time in my entire life that I have ever seen or heard of the "News Of The World" being a highly reliable source!!! Dig out your old Abbey Road Album. Find out what sort of girl makes the News Of The World" With that I am going to leave by the bathroom window - Leaving that "Comic" in its rightful place. Eamonn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evmori Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 eamonn, That would be Polythene Pam. She's so good looking she looks like a man! Ed Mori 1 Peter 4:10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJCubScouter Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Wow, Eamonn, in all my years of that being my favorite album of all time by anyone, I never realized that that was a reference to a specific newspaper. But for those few of us who may be confused at this point, these are the lyrics to a song on the Beatles' Abbey Road album: Well you should see Polythene Pam She's so good looking but she looks like a man Well, you should see her in drag dressed in a polythene bag Yes you should see Polythene Pam Yeah, yeah, yeah Get a dose of her in jackboot and kilt She's killer diller when she's dressed to the hilt She's the kind of a girl that makes the News of the World Yes you could say she was attractively built Yeah, yeah, yeah Hmm, I'm not so sure Pam's lifestyle would qualify her for a leadership position in the BSA. Maybe in British Scouting, though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eamonn Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 I don't think so!! What would the uniform police say abot her uniform?? American Woman... No we won't go there. Eamonn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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