Who is Wheeler? revisited

[Fat Old Guy]

Wheeler's latest rant is about the Citizenship in the World merit badge. He claims to have been a Boy Scout but is surprised by this merit badge. When was he a Boy Scout? My 1972 Handbook lists Cit World as Eagle Required. Was he a Boy Scout before that time?

 

Was Wheeler a Boy Scout? Was Wheeler a Devil Dog? Who knows? Only Lamont Cranston.

[Fuzzy Bear]

This guy goes into a bar carrying a mouse. The mouse gets out onto the bar and begins to sing and dance all up and down the bar. After the mouse finishes, the bartender says, "Hey that is pretty good. What else can he do?"

 

The guy says, "Ain't that enough? My gosh, he's only a mouse."

[frank10]

Ok F.B. you started and I was never know for self control....

 

Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says: "So, Why the long face?".

[OldGreyEagle]

Oh, some beer was spilt on the bar room floor

And the bar was closed for the night

And the little brown mouse came out of his hole

And sat in the clear moonlight

 

Oh he lapped up the beer on the bar room floor

And on his haunches he sat

And all night long you could hear him ROAR...

"Bring on the bar room cat!

 

Oh the cat came out about half past two

And ate up the little brown mouse

And the moral of the story is.....

You cant take a drink on the house!

 

(the shadow knows)

(This message has been edited by OldGreyEagle)

[Twocubdad]

A three-legged dog pushes through the swinging doors and walks into a saloon. He looks around the hushed room and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"

[Fat Old Guy]

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and shouts, "What is this, a joke?"

 

 

[Bob White]

A grasshopper jumps up on the bar and says "good evening barkeep" and the bartender says "a talking grasshopper! You know there is a drink named after you!" And the grasshopper says "Irving?"

[OldGreyEagle]

So Bob, this piece of rope, walks into a bar, the bartender sees him and yells out

"Hey, you piece of rope, we don't serve your kind, get out of here"

 

So a tad chargrinned, Bob backs out of the bar, stands off to the side and takes off his whipping string and shakes his head vigorously. Then he walks back in the bar, the bar bartender takes one look at him and says

"Hey, aren't you that same piece of rope I just threw out of here?

 

Bob looks around and then says,

 

"Who me? I'm a frayed knot"

[Bob White]

A priest, a lawyer, and a cowboy walk into a bar. the bartender looks up at them and says "What is this, some kinda joke?"

[Twocubdad]

Kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $20." The kangaroo winces, but reaches in his pouch for his wallet and pay the tab. Bartender say, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos in this bar." Kangaroo replies, "With prices like this, I'm not surprised!"

 

(Some needs to invent a little drum/rimshot icon for bad jokes.)

[firstpusk]

A skeleton walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Gimme a beer and a mop."

[packsaddle]

The horse and mule live thirty years and nothing know of wine and beers

The goat and sheep at twenty die and never taste of scotch or rye

The cow drinks water by the ton and at eighteen is mostly done

The dog at sixteen cashes in without the aid of rum or gin

The cat in milk and water soaks and then in twelve short years it croaks

The modest, sober, bone dry hen lays eggs for nogs, then dies at ten

All animals are strictly dry, they sinless live and swiftly die

But sinful, ginfull, rum-soaked men, survive for three score years and ten

 

And some of us, the mighty few, stay pickled 'till we're ninety two!

 

 

[Marty_Doyle]

Man walks into a bar with his dog.

Barkeep says "We don't allow dogs in here."

Man says "Ah, but this is a talking dog. Allow me to demonstrate."

He asks the dog "What is on top of a house?"

Dog responds "RUUUUFFFF!"

He asks the dog "What is the opposite of soft?"

Dog responds "RUUUUFFFF!"

He asks the dog "Who is the greatest baseball player ever?"

Dog responds "RUUUUFFFF!"

Barkeep looks at the two of them and then throws them into the street.

Looking up from the gutter, dog says to his master

"What, I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

 

And we are still no closer to answering the question of this post.

[Bob White]

A beautiful blond walks into a bar...........

she forgot to duck.

[firstpusk]

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.

The bartender promptly serves up a beer.

"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.

"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"