Denless Dad

[theysawyoucomin']

Last night was my last webelos den meeting. Wolf to Crossover.

After three and a half years I'm glad to see them go. Boys do grow to become men. That is the natural order of things.

 

I've got the beads, I've taken Troop committee challenge and the indoor portion of SM training. I'm sure I'll do outdoor sometime this year. I don't want to be an Assistant SM because you don't get a vote on the committee. I'm basically going to help the SM.

 

What to all you SM's wish the Denless Dad's would do besides leave the Patrol Leaders alone?

[frank10]

Most committees don't vote, they more beat it to death until every one either agrees or at least determins they can put up with what the others want...

 

Sounds to me like your best position would be Assistant SM.

[orennoah]

As a Scoutmaster, I would like a Denless Dad like you to (a) take the rest of Scoutmaster training, (b) take Wood Badge, © "divorce" your son - see below - and (d) become an assistant Scoutmaster.

 

Voting on Committee doesn't mean a whole lot, or at least it shouldn't. If there's a serious conflict between the SM and ASMs and the Committee, there's a problem that voting rights just can't solve. After all, the Committee members can vote all they want, but the SM and ASMs can always vote with their feet. They're the ones delivering the program and working with the boys. The Committee is their to support that effort.

 

As for "divorcing" your son, the HUGE difference between Cubs and Scouts is that Scouts are boy-run and no "parent" should be involved. Of course, almost all of us Scouters are, in fact, parents. However, we have gone to great lengths to step out of parent mode when we put on our uniforms. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

[theysawyoucomin']

Oren,

I got the beads and the woggle.

uz2bnowl means------------ used to be an owl.

I was a good ole owl too. Now I'm fin.....you know the rest.

 

I take the Patrol Method to heart. That's good advice about divorcing your son. At Scouts he "belongs" to the patrol leader.

 

Wingnut---we do beat it to death until all parties are exhausted!

[Lisabob]

uz2bnowl...we birds must stick together in this fox & bear infested world, so welcome to the nest.

 

I think the answer to your question depends very much on the strengths and weaknesses of the troop you are joining. As an example, my son crossed over last year at this time. He joined a troop that has about 18 ASMs and they all have far better outdoor skills than I do. I'm no slouch but these people are serious; one guy leads wilderness expeditions for a living. I found there wasn't a lot I could add there. So I joined the committee, where I discovered that there was a serious need for people with organizational and communication skills. I've got those, they surely do need them. This year, I'm helping with the troop's webelos-scout transition plan from the administrative end of things.

 

On the other hand, a different troop we were looking at joining is much smaller and has few ASMs. If we'd joined them, I probably would've signed on as an ASM and, after a year with the troop, I'd probably be preparing to serve as a patrol advisor for this year's new scout patrol.

 

So I guess my advice is to talk with the SM and the CC, observe for a little while, and see what holes exist that you are willing and able to fill.

 

Lisa'bob

I used to be a bobwhite...(and nope, I wouldn't make a good dinner - bobwhites are much to small for that!)

[EagleInKY]

I didn't get the "you don't get to vote" idea either. Our committee meetings are - in essence - parent's meetings. We discuss upcoming calendar, advancement status, financial status, fund-raising, etc. Very few decisions are made by the committee. They mainly are there to review and approve the program designed by the PLC and to make sure the resources (money, equipment, people) are there to help make it happen.

 

The main reason I hear folks say for being on the committee is participating in Boards of Review. Some of our adults really enjoy this interaction with the kids.

 

My opinion is that if you want to work with the kids and the SM to deliver the program, become an ASM. If you want to work in the background, as an enabler to the program, and like the idea of participating in BORs, join the Committee. Unfortunately, you can't do both, so you have to make a choice.

[SWScouter]

Well, I will become a Denless Dad when the den crosses over this coming Feb. 18, so I've been mulling over what position I'd like to volunteer for with the troop my son joins.

 

Like you, I've been a DL/WL for about 3 1/2 years. I have my woodbadge. I've taken IOLS, though I have not taken any other Boy Scout Leader training. I have read the SM, SPL, & PL handbooks. I have a good idea what the program is about.

 

Last night my son visited the troop he is planning on joining and had a SM conference. I think he's finally really starting to look forward to Boy Scouts. Anyway, while there, I talked to both the SM and the CC and said that I am planning on joining the troop to and that my preference was to be an SA, but I would take the position that they offered me. My only caveat was that I did not want to be an SA assigned to the new scouts, that I'd like to give my son the opportunity to move forward without me being too closely involved. Maybe mostly, I'm worried that I'll rush in to help more than I should. As a DL/WL I was always involved in organizing and leading the boys and I fret that old habits may be hard to break.

 

Good luck with whatever position you accept with the troop; I'm sure you'll do well.

 

SWScouter

[SemperParatus]

Stuff for Denless Dads to do...

 

Encourage your son (and other boys) in scouting

Serve as an ASM (or SM)

Serve on the Committee in a leadership role -chair, advancement, training, equipment,treasurer

Mentor a scout in a junior leadership role

Register as a merit badge counselor

Serve as your troop's pack liaison

Provide transportation assistance

Get involved at the District level

Serve on boards of review

Take advantage of all training opportunities

Share trips with your son (sometimes)

Wash the SM's car

Act as an Eagle Scout advisor

Head up your unit's FOS campaign

Offer assistance in special areas of knowledge

Attend all Courts of Honor

Smile and laugh often

Take a long nap to recover from cubs

Start a uniform exchange program

Be positive...don't gossip...be patient

Stay in cubs...just because your son is moving on doesn't mean you have to go.

Encourage your son (and other boys) in scouting

 

Congratulations on making a difference in the lives of the boys in your den.

 

 

 

 

 

[FScouter]

A denless dad could become a den leader.

[Eamonn]

Take a minute to enjoy being footloose and fancy free.

Dig out that old Wood Badge Ticket.

Now might be the time to give some real hard thought to what your new vision and your new mission is going to be?

Hey your bowling days are over!!

And " I'm basically going to help the SM" isn't going to cut it!! You can do better than that!!

Having gone through Wood Badge, paid all that hard earned money - To just tag along is a waste.

Sit down pour your-self a nice beverage and write down some goals.

There are enough people that can be recruited to just help the SM. But you will do more for the youth we serve if you think about what you can do and what you want to do to make things better.

Eamonn.

[SWScouter]

Eamonn, that's a great idea. I like it. I have a few things I'd like to finish up with the pack this year and I also want to take some time to get to know everyone at the troop. I think it will be a good idea to have a nice discussion with the SM and get an idea of what his vision for the troop is and try to get some alignment there too. I think you're right though, some vision needs to be found to guide my mission and goals. That way I can act with a purpose instead of just react.

 

SWScouter

[anarchist]

uz2bnowl,

 

the 'vote stuff' is over-rated...most troop committees chew on problems until their teeth fall out and everyone is worn down...in otherwords by concensus...the votes are usually just a formality for the record.

 

Have fun...do what you want to do. I found scouting nervana(sp?) taking SM and committee training, becoming the troop resident trailer puller/equipment/gear head and being the most requested BoR committee member in the troop.(which was the reason I wanted to be a Committee Member-weird huh?)

 

Now in our troop we are multiply blessed. Many of the Committee Members are just as active on campouts as the ASMs many of us are "cross trained". Committee Members however, "know our place" and only get involved in "program stuff" when asked by the SM- and we have a very good notion (training)of where the "line" is.

 

I have more campouts on my "coup stick" than any Dad in the troop... SM included so I get my outdoor "fix", too! I stay away from my kids...One (the Eagle) just Aged out and is doing his thing in college..."divorce" your kid is right on the point! Let them grow...heck if you need to "mother hen" someone (sorry lady scouters) "adopt" a boy to mentor, whose dad is clueless about the joys of watching boys have fun in the woods (or too busy, or AWOL)!

 

Then there is still cub scouts... one of my best friends in scouting, chose to remain a den leader...(His son is now 22). It is his "place" in the scouting world and I know no one better at the job. (He was my Eagle son's den leader). When he "crosses a den over", he turns around and takes a new den of Wolves (he doesn't 'do" tigers) and starts over...A large portion of each group of his boys earn all their Webelos activity pins and almost all earn AoL...his retention rate is wonderful.

 

Life is short, do what you do best...it is easier to love scouting doing what you love in the first place...Review Sempers list...its great...then GO FOR IT!

 

Anarchist

[theysawyoucomin']

Thank you to all who responded.

 

I'm also kind of worried about the attrition of some of the boys whose parents are not really involved. (ie, never opened their kids webelos book once. You can tell by some of the questions you get from time to time)

 

I guess I have a personal interest because in my own Scouting experience I was only a Boy Scout for one year, but was a cub for three and earned the AOL. I think WEEBs was only one year then. I was part of the 30%.

The Troop folded and I didn't want any part of the other Troop in town.

 

When I mention I'm going to help the SM I'm already eyeballs deep in three projects:

I'm running a freeze out in Hague NY in Feb. With a further goal of getting to the one outing a month ideal

 

Providing leadership and planning for a trip to Gettysburg, PA. (with a day at Hershey Park).

I know the PLC should be running this but we as a committee are trying to show the boys that the sky is the limit on trips and how far we'll go. Gettysburg is about 6 hours away.

 

April 29 we are hosting a 100 bird shooting event as a fundraiser. Sporting clays, five stand, wobble trap and trap. Includes a steak dinner. I am the lead on that.

By June I'd like to be a Flyfishing merit badge counselor, maybe the salesmanship one also but I don't think my phone will ring off the hook for that.

 

If I find one more thing will I rate another set of beads or a straight jacket? (joking)

 

Again thank you to all who responded. There were many good ideas. I don't know if I could be a cub den leader again. Maybe if it had no more than 8 kids. I don't have many weekends free as my son and daughter are involved in soccer year round, LL baseball, CYO basketball, swim lessons at the "y". My daughter is going for gold in GS.She plays varsity soccer and runs Track in the spring.

Things are quite busy. So busy in fact that the folks at the gun club wonder if I'm still a member. I did not duck hunt once and that's supposed to be my "thing".

 

 

Well enough whinning I've got to get working on invites for the Sporting Clays fundraiser.