Invited to serve on next WB course.

[matuawarrior]

I received an email today from a friend of mine. She is now the WB Course Director for the next course for Aloha Council scheduled for October 5-13, 2003 at Camp Pupukea. This is my second invitation to serve. I was invited last year and was on staff up to a week before the course was to start. I had to pull out due to an emergency situation with my business.

 

I really didn't expect to be invited again after my sudden pullout last year.

 

Wow, what an honor . . .

 

Matua

[saltheart]

The honor is in the fact that no matter your prior reasons for having to leave, those who are putting together the staff and course this time feel that your skills, your experience, your enthusiasm, your leadership, and just plain "you" are just the kind of person they want on staff. And, having served on many a WB course in every position, I know that means a lot.

 

Congrats.

[Overtrained]

MW

 

Some how I missed this when it was posted.

 

Congratulations! Your being asked to be a Wood Badge Staffer paints a picture of a thousand words that say more good things about you than could ever be derived from these postings.

 

Kudos,

Bob H

[Bob White]

After reading your posts I would have expected you to be invited on staff. You have an excellent understanding of the program methods. Congrats.

Bob White

[Eamonn]

Well Done Sir.

I know of one displaced English guy would thinks that Camp Pupukea, has a nice ring to it.

If you want to hire me to tote your flip chart, just let me know.

 

[Padre]

Congratulations, if it is what you and your family want. I am not a fan of this training.

 

My wife went through the course with eight people in her patrol, two women and six men. I think four will finish maybe five. One(man) was forced to drop out after a couple of months by his wife due to the stress the course was causing at home. Two(men) don't seem to be moving forward with ticket items. Four (1 woman,my wife and 3 men) will get their beads in Oct. And one (woman) might finish but later. Of the four that will finish in Oct. two have been through extreme maritial and family problems due to the course and two seem to be going through without any outward problems at home. Interesting that these two were the oldest in the group.

 

My wife is the leader of the patrol, calls the meetings etc. She was asked back to teach the course. She has decided to stay married instead and declinced the invitation. I have quit scouts and put away the uniform. The course has caused extreme problems at home and I have heard this from other couples. Is this good for the family? I don't know if I or my sons will attend her ceremony, yes they hate it too.

 

What are you teaching?

[acco40]

My ticket advisor would not have let me put down "break up marriage" as one of my ticket items. I'm not sure where you are coming from Padre. While Woodbadge does try to build comraderie (patrol method) and team spirit I would not judge it as "cult like" or brain washing.

[Padre]

Now don't jump to far with your conculsions. And don't get too defensive.

 

My point was that it seems that this course puts a lot of strain on families and marriages. I have heard it over and over from men and women and our SM is aware of this problem. Is it really necessary and can we do something to make sure that this does not happen? Is someone looking into this problem? It does not seem like a small problem to me. Perhaps you are just not in a frame of mind or position that allows you to see the problem.

[Bob White]

Padre,

I have been involved in Wood Badge for 23 years, and counseled a number of participants and never ahve I heard the terms " extreme maritial and family problems due to the course", or "puts a lot of strain on families and marriages." used in reference to Wood Badge.

 

Now I don't want you to get defensive about this because I'm not a licensed counselor, but isn't it more likely that a marital problem is caused by a personal relationship problem between two adults and not by a leadership class? Can a marriage realy be endangered by 4-nights out scouting? If so, think of the tens of thousands of marriages that must fail from Philmont treks, Seabase, Northern Tier, summer camp each year. Or is Wood Badge just a convenient scapegoate?

 

I would be very interested in an example of how a 6-day course on introduction to leadership skills has that effect. Perhaps you are just not in a frame of mind or position that allows you to see the real problem?

 

Bob White

[matuawarrior]

Thanks everyone.

 

Although, woodbadge is a couple of months away. 3 months is more like it. I'm as ready as I can be. This woodbadge I've been assigned as a Troop Guide. Which is cool. I'm really looking forward to it.

 

I'm not sure about the extreme marital problems. Most everyone I've met at the last course that I attended have very supportive families. I was the youngest in my patrol and one of five youngest within the whole troop.

 

I was laughing everyday since I got there. It was so much fun except for the "Game of Life". But it was back to Fun the next morning. My SPL told me that I was such a big kid. Isn't that what Scouting is all about?

 

Matua

[Eamonn]

I'm with Bob on this one.

Yes I can see how Scouting can put a strain on a marriage.

But then so can any other hobby,that someone really gets into. I have friends that are really into golf. They play almost every day, go all over the country, spending weeks away from home.

I have others that spend all sorts of money to go on hunts. One guy has just paid $6000.00 to go hunt a turkey in Texas. The airfare is on top of that.

Many of these guys are away for weeks at a time.

So why would six days with the Scouts be any different?

Yes there are times when, Her That Must Be Obeyed, is a little unhappy about the time that spend Scouting.But we work it out.

[dsteele]

First of all a truly sincere congrats to Matua! It is indeed an honor to staff a Wood Badge Course. I've done it three times more than I wanted to.

 

As to Padre, I've seen many divorces in which one partner's involvement in some aspect of Scouting got out of hand in terms of the relationship. Please don't blame the program. As others have pointed out, it could easily have been many other things.

 

I really wish I could help you more, but my expertise is in Scouting, not marriage. I hope all turns out well for your family, yourself and your wife. Wood Badge can engulf all someone throws into it, but only what someone throws into it. It will go on without me, Eamonn, Bob, or anyone else. Conversely, it will thrive with our efforts or in spite of us.

 

I truly wish I could help you. But please don't blame this training course. No one is seeking to tear apart families in teaching it. It should have the opposite effect.

 

DS

[SharonNC]

Congratulations Matua, it's a great experience. I served on staff for the last of the 'old' Wood Badge course in our council. I've been asked to serve on the first of the 'new' in 2004.

 

When I took my own Wood Badge training, I was the only female in my patrol. The guys gave no quarter and none was asked. We became a team, and lifelong friends. (No one can have to many)

 

I am saddened to hear of the bad experience. The skills and renewal in Scout Spirit that I gained are precious to me. That so many in one course have had a bad time, makes me wonder what in the world could have happened.

 

My husband is not a Scouter, has no interest in it at all. He is complainingly supportive though, he helps me cut out projects, he helps me by getting me the things I need to be effective in my 'jobs' and he makes sure my vehicle is in running order for all my travel.

 

I sincerely hope that the 'reflection' helps that whole Wood Badge troop. I hope that some healing can take place soon. I'm so sorry that the experience has soured someone's involvement in this great program.

Sharon

[Bob White]

Padre,

Something occurred to me recently. Why is a guy Who has quit scouting, who is bitter about his wife's involvement, who's kids are bitter about their moms scouting activity, who sees scouting as a wedge in their marriage, why are you monitoring a scouting web-site?

 

It seems really curious.

 

Bob White

[Padre]

Bob,

I have been visiting the site for quite a while and continue to get good tips about scouting. When I decided to post some of my concerns I needed to register and now I have gotten different viewpoints on my issues, and I welcome these viewpoints. In the past I was happy to read about the topics and not be active in the discussions. I visited the site to be a well informed parent and, like a lot of parents, only want the best experiences from scouting for my sons.

 

Your other posting reminded me of our SM when he asked me to take over a den years ago. He said it will take about an hour a month. That is what he tells everyone and we kind of laugh at his answer now. We all know it takes a little more than a hour a month for most troop positions. WB was explained to me as two weekends and a couple of meetings, and that was a long way off from my experience. My wife's ticket items really made her very busy and caused

most of our issues. She was gone a lot more than two weekends camping in the seven months it took her to complete her ticket items, leave Friday home Sunday. Then there were lots of meetings

with the patrol and ticket meetings. Lots of council volunteering. Throw in the normal high level of involvement we have with two troops. Add what my SM calls the "WB Glow" ,which tends to supercharge leaders, and we had non stop scouting action at home. Everything at our house stopped that was not scout related for about 10 months. Thousands of dollars were spent on activities

and gear without my knowledge. We had a huge priority shift with her

involvement in this program that was not negotiated or agreed to up front, but that is more the marital side.

 

On the scouting side she had lots of people encouraging her and signing her up for more, giving her more opportunities to get involved.

 

We are in scouting for our sons she was now doing most of her scouting without them! My sons now call the organization "Parent Scouts of America". They have asked her to give them a break from scouting. Since summer camp, we are now on that break.

 

I too am that spouse that packs the gear fills the gas tank gets everything ready and writes the checks. And I have been on most of our campouts.

 

I was thinking my experiences unique until other WB's told me of similar family issues and strains. To be fair many others have said it was no big deal at home. Is my council that different? I wish some of these "WB friends" would of told us more before she signed up. But I do understand that she got into this more than most other adults and it would be difficult to predict something like this happening to a person.

 

Her actions in the program created our family's experience. Those little beads do not represent a positive experience for me. The cost was too high for me to feel good about anything to do with Woodbadge.