Drop and Go parents, reasonable?

[noname]

Parent wants son to sign up and asks if she has to stay. I say I dont know the kid so call me back after I speak with the den leader. She tells me he is "just a energetic 10 yr old". We are a pack of 10 in a school of less than 100 boys so new blood would be nice.But I'm not a babysitter and they left our group years ago cause I told the parent such. So what does the scouters say?

[qwazse]

Depends on what the leader and his/her assistant can handle.

 

But, I would say "No, it's not okay. At least not for the first few meetings."

 

It's also important to get to know the parent's situation. Sometimes there is a mom/dad out there who truly deserves a "pass". Sometimes it's good for the kid to have mom away from the building for an hour.

[SeattlePioneer]

A new parent has more to learn about the program as a new Scout.

 

One of the things they need to learn is to stick around and start learning about the program and the other Scouts and parents.

[Mrw1]

We once had a boy where the den leader was having a hard time getting the mom to sign off on the Bear religious requirement. The requirement was something like practice your religion as you are taught at home. Easy right?

 

The CM talked to the mom about how this was holding back the boy from his badge and her resposnse was, "I signed him up for scouts so I did not have to do things with him."

 

If ever there was a boy who needed scouts and time away from home, this would be a poster child for that.

 

Unless the child is a hellion, see if there is a reason before judging that the boy needs to have the parent there or involved to any degree.

[CalicoPenn]

Do you require a parent stay with their son at every den meeting? If so, why? A Den needs a Den Leader and an Assistant Den Leader, and maybe a Den Chief (though frankly, no maybe's about it). A Den Leader and Assistant should have way too much on their late dealing with the boys - they shouldn't have time to monitor and "babysit" the adults hanging in the back of the room too.

 

Pack Meeting? Well yeah, Mom should be there - and maybe at an occasional Den Meeting (I know of some Dens that have a calendar set up for individual parents to sign up to prepare snacks for), but she shouldn't be expected to be at every meeting. The Den and Pack leaders shouldn't be viewing these meetings as "baby-sitting". Den meetings are one of the ways that "The Pack Helps the Cub Scout Grow". If Mom isn't promptly picking her Cub up after the meetings end, then it's time to haul out the "we aren't babysitters" line, but until then? If a Den Leader is viewing it as babysitting, maybe it's time for a new Den Leader, someone who may not be burned out.

[Peregrinator]

Which would you prefer, the drop & go parent, or the helicopter parent? Frankly we're concerned enough about the latter that we tell all parents to drop their kids off at the meetings.

[acco40]

Cub Scouting is a family affair. Boy Scouts is more about the boy. For a den meeting or a troop meeting the non-scouter adults responsibility is to provide transportation, support the adult leadership as requested and for Cub Scouts, work with their son outside of den and pack meetings.

 

So, for the actual den meeting - no need to attend unless specifically requested by the den leader.

[SSScout]

 

"energetic 10 year old"

Makes him a Webelos, right? I would say,

" Good, we'll turn him into a good Scout. But please, realize that we expect the parent(s) to be involved and supportive. Is this still your email? Can we have your good phone number for our phone tree? And our next hike is 17 september. Can you drive? We're going up to the State Park. And Johnny will need some money for dinner coming home, we'll stop at Daisey's next to the Park entrance. He should wear his Scout Tshirt and dress for the weather. We'll discuss it in our meeting tuesday after school. "

 

Something like that......

[tgrimstead]

 

I've found we get better behavior from the boys when the parents aren't at meetings.

 

Weird how the Den Chiefs used to run the Dens in the 50's and 60's and the Den Mom and Den Dad supported them.

 

Yours In Cheerful Service

 

Tim

[5yearscouter]

We find we get better participation and HELP make the pack GO from parents if we require them to attend the first few meetings to find out what is going on and get to know the den and the den leadership. After that, for wolf on up, if a parent is not going to stay for the meeting they have to check with the den leader after bringing the boy into the meeting room and come back for ending announcements.

 

Lots of time parents are sooo busy that getting them to do family things at home is difficult--so for instanct den leaders may have family game night at the den meeting, and need each scout to have family present to make that work. Parents also need to SEE what you are doing in the den meeting, so they know if they are asked to do something at home it's because the den meetings are so full they just can't fit everything into the den meetings.

 

we also are not babysitters of america.

 

Our pack everyone meets on the same night, so in dens with parents "getting in the way" there is always some pack stuff being done in the hallway that the parents are encouraged to come help with. whether stuffing goodie bags for the halloween party, cutting out craft stuff for the tiger den, helping come up with ideas for the games to play at the campout or sorting newsletters for each den, or helping to write up awards cards for 20 new bobcats, or helpin to monitor the gaggle of siblings that showed up and started to interfere with the den meetings and now are running back and forth down the hall and stuffing too much toilet paper in the school bathroom. There is always stuff that can be done.

[tgrimstead]

I should rephrase that last post.

Better behavior from boys when their parents are not "IN" the meetings. They are available for CM and CC.

 

Yours In Cheerful Service

 

Tim

[ScoutNut]

>>"I'm not a babysitter and they left our group years ago cause I told the parent such."

[noname]

Thanks for all of the advice but I am the only leader that stays as it is. I need other parents to stay ust for the 2 deep leadership requirement. We are only 9 boys and 5 families, I did not want another parent just drop&go and yes they did leave before when I required it from them. I would love to find babysitters for my kids at only $15 per year!

[5yearscouter]

You know we had a parent meeting when we were that small and made some harsh discussions about who was going to do the work and that it wasn't going to just be me. With a little poking all parents agree that the pack policy would be that each scout had to have one parent fill out a leader application and take a leader position of some kind. It was the only way to make it work. when we got more parents than we had leader positions (actual positions like den leader and assistant) everyone else was committee with each one in charge of an event, fundraiser, secy, treasurer, advancement, campout, newletter, website.

of course we were self chartered, so if the parents didn't make our pack go we wouldn't have gonne anywhere fast.

[Brewmeister]

If it's important to you or bothering you then put your foot down. Call the parents to come back and pick up the boy, cancel the meeting, or quit altogether. You're a volunteer and nobody can take advantage of you without your permission.