Not finding the right troop

[sctmom]

My son does seem to still have an interest in scouting. He said he wants to go back and "just watch" at a troop meeting. That he wants to see if they are doing fun stuff or just talking. I know they are trying to change but I don't expect a huge turn around.

 

I've looked at other troops within reasonable driving distance and just don't see any that are "delivering the promise of scouting". The "big" troops in our area have 30 scouts. Most don't have that many. Very few have monthly campouts. Some think every campout is earn a merit badge. One has boys that he has known for years and doesn't want to be around. They have all gone through elementary school together and they know every problem my son has ever had and will never really accept him.

 

What do I do? I want my son in scouting. I truly believes he wants to be a Boy Scout. But we aren't finding what we hear Scouting should be.

 

I am considering talking to Campfire USA about a group in our area but I just don't think they offer as much structure as BSA. I feel the structure is important and most kids thrive from the BSA troop structure.

 

Suggestions?

 

[evmori]

sctmom,

It sounds like you need to find a Troop that does things that interest your son. Does he like sports? If so, try to find a Troop that is more sports oriented. Does he like camping? Try to find a Troop that loves to camp.

 

Don't take this next comment wrong. Maybe the problem is he isn't ready to "cut the cord" from you yet & this is his barrier to Boy Scouts.

 

You need to remember that everything in Scouting isn't fun. Going on campouts requires packing, loading trucks with gear, setting up the site, cooking, cleaning, breaking camp, loading up the trucks again & driving home to unload. A lot of younger boys don't like this aspect because it isn't "fun" and in a lot of cases, have never had to do it!

 

I hope this helps.

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[sctmom]

Ed, I have considered if my son was just not mature enough. Yet, he enjoyed 2 weeks of summer camp without me and doesn't necessarily want me there. He knows not everything is going to be fun but none of it appeals to him that these troops are doing. The merit badges are not an incentive to him (which I'm kinda glad about).

 

I'm seeing troops that as Bob White says "are doing other things wearing the Scout uniform but aren't doing Boy Scouting". Troop meetings are merit badge classes, everyone is pushed to Eagle as quick as possible, older boys drop out. I think based on your posts, you agree that Eagle is not the point of Scouting. The ranks and badges are not the point. The goals are character development, physical fitness and citizenship. Everything it should be offering my son --- independence, self-esteem, sense of belonging, challenges, chance to be a leader --- I've seen him get excited about even when it required work.

 

[Stan Riddle]

If the "right" Troop is doing everything by the book, I'd love to find it myself! I'm sure this statement will ruffle some feathers, but I think the Patrol method is an unreachable goal. It IS a goal, and I think many Troop try hard to attain it. It's just that Troops are contantly in flux, losing experienced members, and gaining "green" recruits.

 

As Scouters, we train, we assist, we fill in blanks, and ultimately, we teach.

 

Find one that is closest to what you think is a good Troop, help if they'll let you, encourage your son to help as well. But I don't think you'll ever find a perfect Troop.

[CubsRgr8]

Sctmom, maybe your son would be better off in the Lone Scout program. There was an article about it in the October 2001 issue of Scouting Magazine. I don'd know a lot about the program, but (using Scouter's internal search engine) when I checked out this unofficial site: http://www.activated-storytellers.com/lone_scout_guidebook. it looked promising. Also, check out: http://www.geocities.com/zephyrgoza/ which is a website run by a Lone Scout himself. What do you think?

 

 

[sctmom]

I thought you could only be a Lone Scout if you traveled or did not life within a reasonable distance to a troop. That just not liking the neighborhood troop was not a good enough reason.

 

[CubsRgr8]

The BSA site lists other circumstances that allow a boy to join Lone Scouts. Also, somehow one of my links doesn't work, but you can get to it through the other one.(This message has been edited by CubsRgr8)

[Bob White]

Stan,

The Patrol method is not a goal, it is a method of education and unit operation. The goal is to teach skills. That being the case the Pat4rol Method is extremely successful.

 

If you mean that a perfectly operating troop is an unreachable goal I will go one step further, It's not even a goal. At least it is not a goal of scouting. Nowhere does the Scouting program suggest that things are meant to run perfectly or are even expected to.

 

As you point out Junior Leaders rotate through. They come in as novices and as they become experienced leaders the rotate out to make way for the next wave.

 

If a leader or parent is frustrated that things don't go perfectly, the problem is a flawed expectation not a bad program.

 

That said, there are many problems that are avoidable or correctable through the use of the scouting methods, but it is important to remember our purpose and that we are a testing ground not a finished product.

 

If your scout troop is running perfectly than your adults are probably doing more work than the scouts or you haven't held elections.

 

Bob White

[sctmom]

Bob White,

What about troops that don't use the patrol method, don't use the First Class emphasis, don't use new scout patrols (the call them that but no troop guide, no ASM), everything is about earning merit badges, don't do outdoor things but 2 or 3 times a year, etc.

 

I know my son will have some unhappy times. My goal is not for him to earn X number of merit badges or reach Eagle by a certain age or even to reach Eagle at all. My goal is for him to be involved in a good group that is for youth.

 

I guess we settle for less in a troop, never mind if they really use the BSA tried & true methods, or follow policies and rules. OR we just forget it.

 

[yaworski]

Sctmom,

 

We have many choices in life. This is one of them. If you can't find a troop to your liking, you have to decide if your son live with one of the existing troops. You need to decide if you want to work to make the troop run the way that it is supposed to.

 

My son's troop is going through a major reconstruction. I weighed in to fight the dark side. :-) A new Scoutmaster and a number of parents who have gone through all the training have decided that we no longer want that Troop to run like a Cub Scout pack.

 

Backs are being bitten. Names are being called. But we will prevail and have a boy run troop in a couple years.

[Bob White]

sctmom,

I was just addressing Stan's comments about the ptrol Method being an unreachable goal. The patrol method is just that a method, a perfectly operating troop is not only unreachable but it is not even a scouting goal.

 

As far as your problem in not finding local units that use the scout methods, I understand your frustrations. I strongly recommend meeting with the District Key 3 (District Executive, District Chair, District Commissioner) and share your frustrations as a parent in finding a functioning scouting program. I would hope they could provide guidance through more aggressive Training and Roundtable programs to re-invigorate the use of scouting methods. The DE could visit with the COs to share his or her concern over the methods or lack of methods being employed at the unit levels.

 

Bob White

 

[Stan Riddle]

Hey Bob, that's what I was trying to say. Sorry I didn't state myself more clearly.

[yarrow]

Maybe I am wrong but I thought you could become a Lone Scout for personal reasons. ie any reason. We had a kid in our district that was bitten by another kids dog, badly. He has lots of scarring. To make a long story short the troop wasn't as supportive as they should have been and the parents got into it with others as to who was a fault (the kid is bitten for pete's sake) and they quit and he went Lone Scout for a while. The parents are now starting another troop. I don't think Lone Scout is a great choice but that's just one opinion.

 

I would get involved with your new troop and offer to run some program on the side. I occasionally bring in an expert on a subject and offer an activity or badge before the meeting for any scout who wants to come. I usually plan it when the boys have nothing planned and are going to do something fun like "Capture the Flag"

You can also, as a Patrol resource, bring in information to your son's patrol to give them ideas for activities and campouts to do as a patrol. Make yourself available as a resource. Kids can't go from everything planned and handled for them to nothing so allow them to ask.

[Sdriddle]

sctmom,

 

I just have to tell you to perservere. It has taken me 6 months to finally "push" my way into the leaders circle. I figured out first meeting that I would have to take Scout Leader Essentials if I wanted to have any clout with the troop at all. I am an information person and after that and alot of purchasing and reading of BSA materials and online, I found several things that the troop does wrong that are adding up to cause lot of problems. Of course, the real problem is trying to get people you don't know to change things they have done for 10 years without offending them. Everyone knows there are problems with the troop, but no one knows what to do about it without causing alot of strife. Our Scoutmaster is stepping down because he isn't having any fun and the stress of having a growing troop and grumbling adults has worn him down. I (ASM)have been attending committee meetings the last two months and they last 2-3 hours because of a couple of people who refuse to stop nitpicking. I just say my piece there when something comes up that is a problem and spout off BSA policy with the books to back it up. They still don't always believe me but I feel like it is my responsibility to do so. There is alot more to this drama, but I figure if they get sick of me and ask me to stop being active then I will have more time to start a troop in our own town. But I am committed to help the troop as long as my son wants to be a part of it (I know that is your pressing problem) and they don't run me out of town on a rail. Maybe you could make a deal... tell him you will attend every commitee, troop, training meeting around and try to stir things up and he has to keep going to meetings for the next 6 months while you shake things up. Worst case scenario, you both quit on Boy Scouting which you are close to right now anyways.

 

Good Luck,

 

P.S. I have two tan shirts now.. one for the troop and one for the pack (tiger den leader) so that I look official when I attend troop functions.

 

Sheila

 

[sctmom]

Thanks Sheila. It is hard to change people who have "always done it this way" and feel pretty happy with it. I am still considered part of the troop committee. I know the SM is trying to restructure the meetings but I guess I see so many simple changes that could take place. Things that are clearly explained in the Scoutmaster handbook. As a Cub leader I reread the Leader handbook at least once a year, periodically scan through it to see what I have forgotten about.

 

My son wanted to go this last week to see if anything changed but I said we both needed a few weeks away from them. Each attempt lately has been an episode with my son.

 

I have talked to my son about me being involved, trying to give things a chance to change, etc. It is hard for him to comprehend at 11 years old.

 

I guess I will keep my troop position and also register with the pack, not just transfer my application.

 

The other frustrating part is the things the district and council continue to do that are against BSA rules and the lack of training for adults. Webelos are strongly encourage to attend Boy Scout Camporees and compete in Boy Scout skills contest? People all over the district wear their knots they earned as Cub Leaders even though no one has taken the REAL youth protection training.