Is It My Problems Giving Up Something Or Realistic Concerns?

[Eagle92]

Ok I am no longer CSDC program director. My middle son will be a Tiger, and I need to be with him. So Ive picked my successor, handed over a copy of everything I have, gave some advice, and am working with him to create a program. But I have concerns and I dont know if its me having a hard time giving up something I worked on for the past 3 years, or if its legitimate concerns.

 

Now there was no program to speak of when I took over, as the camp had the appearance of being thrown together last minute. I worked long and hard to create a program that was fun, and avoided repetition of some activities. That was one of the biggest complaints when I staffed the first year: the ones who had been coming to camp had been doing the same things over and over without variation. I made mistakes, but overall the comments from Cubs and parents alike have been positive. I thought the program would need tweaking due to increased numbers.

 

The new PD has his own thoughts on program, some I like and want to see happen, some I have questions on, but am willing to give it a shot, and one or two that I don't see feasible. I've tried to be positive, and offer alternatives. I admit I thought I had a great program put together that could be used over and over since I had each level doign something a little different. I am OK with the program ideas. But again it is hard a bit.

 

And that is where I don't know if my feelings towards program changes may be affecting my major concerns.

 

As you know I've had challenges with the CD the past 2 years, to the point where it was so bad that I ended up doing 95% of the work last year b/c the CD was unreliable. The relationship started out well initially, but it soured very quickly as the CD would not help or cooperate. It was just easier and less frustrating to do it myself than to rely on her. I did tell the new PD some of the challenges I've faced and wished him luck.

 

Now the good news is the new PD and CD have been meeting, are coming up with stuff for camp, and seem to have a good working relationship. That's great, and I want it to work out because that will make camp bettr. But I'm concerned that in the long term, the relationship will sour and it will hurt camp overall.I am concerned that the same things that happened to me, i.e. the lack of sharing information, the lack of help when asked for it, and budgetary concerns, will once again arise, and affect camp.

 

I know I have mentioned this to the new PD, but he is putting it down to "two strong personalities" and "too many chiefs and not enough Indians." But I'm concerned that the administrative side of things will hurt day camp in the long term. So is it a legitmate concern, or me refusing to give up something?

[Papadaddy]

You stated, "I am no longer CSDC program director".

 

That's pretty unambiguous to me...

[Stosh]

It is always difficult to give up one's baby to the care of someone else.

 

I worked for 2 years developing Exploring posts for a council back in the 70's. I formed over 40 new posts while going to school. After those two years, I had to go on a year long internship and when I returned I went back to visit and see how things were going. Only 3 posts were still active.

 

While living in a small town, I worked to start up an ambulance service because they had no medical response people within 20 miles. When I left it had a full blown ambulance service staffed 24/7 with a nice unit. 5 years later they were struggling to maintain personnel to man a first response rescue team out of the volunteer fire department. The unit had been sold within 2 years of my leaving.

 

Not everyone has the same priorities and there is basically nothing one can do about it. Fortunately it was a lesson I learned early in life and have seen a lot of my work "go down the drain" after I left. But it would seem that that is just the way life is and one must not spend a lot of time worrying about spilled milk.

 

On the other hand things that I started, the next person picked up and improved upon and made it even better. So it's not always a negative thing.

 

It is just the chance one takes when they move on. You win some, you lose some, but stay focused on today and tomorrow, you don't need Tums as much.

 

Stosh

[shortridge]

Isn't the CD the same person who has been driving away many parents because of her PWD attitude issues? If so, then I'd say you have good reason to be concerned. But it's not your problem any more.

 

Very few working relationships start out negative. They start positively, everything's hunky-dory, and then go down the tubes. So what the PD is saying may be entirely accurate from his POV at this moment in time. What he presumably lacks is the experience of working with this person over the long term. And he's only going to get that experience through time.

 

That said - it's entirely natural to be reluctant to let go. It's just as natural for the PD to want to put his own stamp on things by creating new activities and program stuff. You've handed it over, given your advice and done all you can. It sounds like it's time to let the powers that be know exactly what you've done to help, what information you've passed on, etc., and then step back and be with your son. Do all that you can with his den and make sure he has a great time at day camp.

 

And congratulations on the promotion, BTW! Tiger partner is a great role, and bound to be far more fun than PD.(This message has been edited by shortridge)

[Tampa Turtle]

We have all been there. It is tough to walk away.

 

When I was a student architect I was lucky enough to get my very first commission for a detached garage apartment. Not only was I fortunate enough to get it built but it was in my own neighborhood so I could see my handiwork everytime I walked the dog. Gave me a deep sense of satisfaction.

 

Owner sold the house, new owner came in and knocked it flat to build a new garage! Didn't even last 12 months. Still got to walk by it.

 

Then I realized that most of what I do won't last, even the pyramids will wear away some day far in the future. I now try to invest in relationships and none other is more important than your own child. So, like the others have said, pat your self on the back, pass on any tips and remember it is no longer your baby. Have fun in Tigers.

[ScoutNut]

You have given the new PD a heads up, a few different times.

 

You have helped give the new PD a running start.

 

What would you like to do about the possible issues you see that might crop up? Take back the position of PD? Take on the position of CD?

 

It is now no longer your baby. You have done the best you can. You need to let the current staff do their own thing, and make their own mistakes.

 

 

[moosetracker]

Well if the CD has had issues with others besides you, it may not be the two of you clashing personally.. But, you never know this new PD, may have found some common bond with the CD.. He may make butter out of an old sows ear where you couldn't..

 

My husband has a route, anyone else on the route hates this one guy. More then one other person has had immediate and instant dislike over his attitude, or things he said. Yet he just purrs around my husband.. Everyone else is in wonder..

 

Also (another hubby story). My husband worked at a company and was the greatest thing since sliced bread.. Got a new DE, who wanted him gone, for who knows why. But, for 1.5 years he couldn't do anything right and it wore on his self-confidence, so he was making mistakes because he feared action of any sort. Thinks were very dark as the psyhological games did severe damage to him. Then the DE left, in comes the new DE. He pulls out this long nasty list of everything wrong with my husband given to him by the exiting DE.. In front of my husband he ripped it up, and said "I do not want to come in with pre-conceved notions" you start with a fresh slate.. He watched, he analysed and in 6 months my husband was considered the best employee of the area again.. When I think of that story, I have to thank that DE for giving back my husbands self-confidence, had he not who knows where my husband would be today.

 

You have made your warnings known. What you do not want to due is sabbatoge a possible rare working relationship between the two.. (maybe it is, maybe it isn't).. But if it is, that would be nice. It means that if this CD acts out of place at other functions you know who to seek out to calm the nasty beast..

 

Wish him well.. If he finds out you were right, he will probably pick up on the warning signs earlier rather then later due to your warning..

[Lisabob]

Time to set it aside.

 

You are probably right but lots of people (and not just kids) need to learn by doing. Let the new crew do it their way. Since they haven't yet taken you up on your unsolicited advice, stop giving it. Do offer advice if they ask you, but otherwise, keep out of it. They'll make their own mistakes and learn from them, along the way. The kindest thing you can really do is to be quietly supportive from the wings, even when things don't quite go right and especially when you are around others who know what a stellar job *you* did back when *you* were CSDC program director (you don't want to undermine the new folks). Kinda like being the ex-SPL or the ex-SM.