Held back in school

[LTSakima]

Anyone deal with this issue? We have a boy who is goiong to be held back in school this year. His parents want to keep him back in cubs as well. I believe he should advance as he is "aged" out of the lower level and move forward with his den brothers, especially since he has already earned the lower rank. Opinions???

[moosetracker]

Our son repeated second grade, but we kept him going with his den through the ranks, rather then stick him into a different den.. It had a little bit of fudge at the end, because he moved into boy scouts not of the right age or the right grade. But earning the Arrow of Light at the time got him in, (I hear now adays it would not)..

 

I guess it is really up to the parents & boy.. But I would agree that he may be board doing the same things over again, unless the den leader is very entertaining and makes it alot of fun so that he does not mind repeating the stuff over again.

 

If not because he does not need to earn the rank, you will find he finding it convient to skip meetings, and once he starts skipping he may slip down the slope & out of the pack.

[perdidochas]

I've seen it done both ways. We held my oldest son back in 2nd grade (he was one of the youngest in his class), and it was a good thing for him. He didn't particularly care for the boys in his den (well, all but one), so we held him back in Cub Scouts as well (he was a Bear for two years--his second year in 2nd grade and his third grade year). Now he's a Boy Scout. A good friend of ours did the opposite. It worked well for him, as his boy liked the Den he was in.

[infoscouter]

How did he do at the achievements for his current rank? Did he struggle to complete them? Has he earned his rank badge? Is he a Tiger, a Wolf or a Bear?

 

If completing the requirements was difficult physically or intellectually, repeating isn't a bad idea, particularly if he hasn't completed his rank requirements.

 

Tigers and Bears have more flexibility - Tiger Go and See its can be to a variety of places, so he's not repeating too much stuff. In Bears, he could do the achievements he didn't do the year before. With Wolves he would be stuck repeating the same 12 achievements he did the previous year, and unless he doesn't/can't remember what he's done before (like my son who has autism), its likely he'd be bored.

 

In addition, there's the social aspect. He's going to feel badly about being held back in school. Staying with his current den *may* help soften the blow. On the other hand, being with boys every week who are doing things in school which he is not, might empahsize the difference.

 

This is someplace where you have to have a parent/leader conference (and not just 5 minutes after a den meeting). The leader and parents (and maybe the Committee Chair) need to sit down and figure out what's best for the Scout intellectually and socially.

[kari_cardi]

If the scout and his parents have their eye on Eagle, holding him back in scouts could mean less time in Boy Scouts to advance to Eagle. The scout could also catch up again by skipping the second year of Webelos since presumably he would be old enough to join a troop by then. I would not consider this to be a concern, but rather a consideration to keep in mind. My primary point is that decisions now will have effects down the road.

 

I think, as a parent and a leader, that I would ask the scout what he would like to do with a preference to continuing on in scouts.

[momof2cubs]

As far as I knew, the cub ranks are based on grade level OR (not and) age. So if the cub is on 2nd grade he is a wolf, BUT he could be a bear if he's old enough.

 

So as far as the rules go, he can go either way. I think this is a decision that will vary depending on the boy, his parents, and the leaders and what they all feel is the best fit for the boy.

 

We held our son back in the preschool years (he has a summer birthday) so he is older than most of his peers. It has worked out very well 99% of the time for him. As they say around here, your mileage may vary.

[rdclements]

I've bumped into this issue a couple of times before. There is nothing gained by going through the same scout program a second time, and no provision in the program to accommodate that. Being held back a grade is stressful and socially challenging enough. Send him on with his den. The real question will be when he should transition to a troop, and that will work itself out when the time comes.

[ScoutNut]

As others have said, it can be either way, and there are good reasons for both. Just a note, holding him back in Cubs will not affect his transfer to Boy Scouts.

 

What to do depends on the boy himself.

 

Your best bet is to meet with the parents and the Scout, and talk about their options, and their reasons for wanting their son to repeat the last year of Cubs.

 

Then come to an agreement on what is best for the boy.

[LTSakima]

Thanks for all your input. There is a hitch however. The parent is the asst Tiger den leader and wants to be the den leader next year if he holds his son back. Some people believe he has alterior motives and just wants to be the den leader. What do you do when the parent is a cub leader and knows his son has earned the rank already but still wants to keep him back. It is just a very tough decision and situation for both teh boy for school and now cubs.

[Lisabob]

Let him do what he feels is right for his boy.

 

Honestly, you've found a potential good Tiger leader, and you're fussing about whether his son, who is being held back, will be in Tigers again?

 

Ultimately, this is the parents' decision on whether or not to hold the boy back in scouting. It is not out of the realm of reasonableness to do so, depending on the boy. And the best judges of this are his parents.

 

(I've seen both happen, and both can work. Don't lose any more sleep over this, and tell others to mind their own business, if they try sticking their noses into this family's arrangement.)

 

[ScoutNut]

From your profile your position in the Pack is that of den leader.

 

The decision on whether or not this parent becomes a den leader is up to the Pack Committee Chair, and the Charter Organization, not other den leaders. That decision is usually based on if they feel the volunteer will do a god job.

 

The decision of whether or not the Cub Scout stays in Tigers for a second year is something that should be discussed between the Cubmaster, Committee Chair, and the parents. The final decision is really up to the parents on what they feel is best for their son. It has nothing to do with anyone else in the Pack.

[moosetracker]

Should be fine then.. If they are repeating Tigers and the parent takes on the Tiger DL position. As someone said they can choose different "go see its", the parent as leader will make sure his son is not board, as his own son's interest will be the first indicator if the other boys are also excited about the program he is providing. The boy's interest will just perk up having his dad as leader anyways..

 

Most likely the boy is excited to repeat with the thought of dad as leader.. And barring any personality disorders with the Parent that would make him the wrong person to put in charge (Which would be up to the CM, CC and committee to discuss and agree on).. The fact that the new Tiger den is getting an expirenced DL will be a bonus to them.. Tiger is usually a hard year due to the fact you have a totally inexperienced, brandy-dandy new DL.. and possibly someone not gung-ho to be Leader but was the one who drew the short staw..

 

Barring a personality disorder with the Adult, sounds like a win-win..

[Lisabob]

Actually, Tiger is probably the easiest year to accommodate repeats.

 

We had a boy repeat Tigers and it was no problem. First, the boy really LIKED a lot of the activities and had no issues with repeating a few things. Second, there are lots of choices and different paths to take within the program (go-see-its). Third, the learning curve for Tigers isn't all that steep, so the new boys quickly caught up to where this fellow was at. Fourth, he was able to "help" at first - help teach the new boys cub scout oath, help with flags, etc. - which made him feel special.

 

A lot of what happens in Tigers is basically social. They want to make friends and play and do neat "big boy" things (while also learning and being socialized into a norm of community involvement). The boy probably will be fine, doing it twice.

 

 

 

 

[momof2cubs]

"Some people believe he has alterior motives and just wants to be the den leader."

 

Well..the nerve!!

 

As you most likely know very well, finding people to step up at the Tiger level is very tough. All the parents (specially the 1st timers) have that deer in the headlights look at the organizational meeting. And your problem is that someone actually WANTS to do it??? What am I missing? Is this parent not qualified? Is there something in his character that makes him not fit to be a den leader?

 

And what's the big deal if the parent wants the kid to do tiger again? What's it to ANYONE but the boy and his parents?

 

I am sure I am missing something here.

[SpecialScouting]

This is really 100% the parents call. Having held back two of my children in 1st grade, I would have had my son repeat Tigers had he been in it at the time. That way he is on track with the kids that he will be going to school with for the next 12 years. Now, my daughter's Girl Scout Troop of 12 girls had five held back in either kindergarten or 1st grade so everyone just decided we'd be a 2-grade troop and they stuck together.

 

IMHO, no one from the Pack should offer an opinion. Let the family do what is best for their boy.