New Webelos Den Leader and VERY nervous!!

[pamom]

Hi everyone.. It started about a year ago when we signed our sons up for cub scouts.. Since then, we've become more active.. My husband is now an assistant Cub Master and is on the pack council.

 

We've been attending the council meetings regularly and this last time when we went (at beginning of the month), the cub master admitted that it has become too much. She's been doing it three years now, and has also been the den leader for all the different types (bear, tiger, wolf, and webelos)... With all of that plus working full time with a family; she's just become stretched too thin. She was nearly at tears because she felt that she was letting the boys down but she knew she couldn't continue to do it all.. So that night, I was talking with my husband and said that I was THINKING about being the den leader for the Webelos.

 

Crazy me, I decided to email her and tell her what I was thinking and that the only thing holding me back was that I have serious Public Speaking issues. (When put in front of a group, I feel like the room is closing in on me, my voice gets small, my face flushes, my hands get sweaty, and I tend to read or talk fast to hurry up the time being in the front of the group.) I told her that if I could get past that, that I'd love to be the den leader. Well, the next day when I got home from work, my husband told me that she had called and said that she got my email, that she teaches public speaking, and she's SO glad that I've decided to become den leader!!!!!!! My first reaction was shock! I said I was thinking about it and now here I am being told that I've accepted it!! LOL Needless to say, it's been about a week now, and I am VERY nervous. We've made plans to meet up and go over things, but things have come up and have canceled. The first den meeting is on the 21st and I am soooooo nervous. I am not prepared, she hasn't had a chance to help me with my public speaking yet, and I am just lost... I'm excited but very scared... I know I can do it, but it'd help if I was prepared and knew what I was going to be talking about... Any tips or advice????

 

Thank you!!

 

[Gary_Miller]

Remember you are working with boys not adults, and the boys don't care how well you speak in front of groups. All they care about is that you care about them and that their meetings have meaning and are fun.

 

So somethings that will help you be successful. Go on line at myscouting.org. Take all the training related to being a webelos leader.

 

Get the necessary books to do the job, read them. Go through the Webelos hand book get familiar with how its layed out. Make sure you know what the diffrent requirements are you don't have to memorize them just have an understanding of them and where to find them.

 

Make sure you have an assistant Den Leader and give them responsibility.

 

Work with the local troop and get a Den Chief make sure he has the materials to do his job and give him responsibility at every meeting.

 

But most of all just have fun and keep it simple.

[moosetracker]

I know what your are saying, I took on District Training Chair, because our district wanted someone who did the organization and did not do the Training.. That was me, I like organization and no public speaking..

 

I didn't think it through.. I had to take EDGE program, which I took about a month ago, which is about public speaking and you have to do a demonstration and everyone evaluates it. There was also an impromptu thing that they just hand you something and you have only time to make flip charts for, but no time to practice.

 

I practiced and practiced the demonstration I knew about because I was so nervous.. I did ok with that. I really flubbed up the impromptu one. When they asked how we felt after that one, I told them I hated it, because I had no time to prep and I knew I made a real fool of myself and was awful.. It was to teach us the value of prep work.. I already knew that..

 

Tonight, I have to now get up in front of the district round table to promote upcomming trainings, and other things.. I also am holding a meeting with the trainers for the first training since I took over.. I feel the same way you do. I am totally nervous.. But I try to give myself back some control by over compensating with organization (which is what I do.).. I have my notes, I have practiced it in my mind & out loud. I have all other sorts of lists & paperwork to work with anyone who comes up and asks me a question on anything. For the meeting with the trainers I got list on the schedule, the materials I think we need and a list of of questions for the trainers since I am organizing but they are the ones that have done the training millions of times already.

 

Yours is with kids, when I work with kids I again overcompensate by organizing all the activities, and making sure I have enough to keep them busy and occupied.. Most times we don't get to all I have set up for activities. I remember one time when a child came up to me exhausted and said Mrs. _______ can we have a break now? I am exhausted.. My husband and just broke out laughing.. It was my overcompensating..

 

Just look over the materials. Make sure you have enough organized to keep them busy.. create Itemized list of what to go over about things they did in advancement at home, and what your want to talk about to let them know about what their assignments are before the next meeting, and what will be done and needed for them to bring to the next meeting. That way you have notes, and don't feel like you will forget it all when you get up there. Also you should have an assistant. If you get one that is more relaxed being the public speaker, you could let them do that part, while you do more of the prep work, organizing what will be done at the meeting.. As the year goes on and you feel more secure with what your doing, and get to know your den, you will relax and do more of the speaking..

 

[Austinole]

You must be my long lost twin. I am exactly the same way. I'm the DL of my son's wolf den. I try to have everything planned out but I go so quickly through it I'm done in about 15 minutes. This den meeting I'm going to divide it up so I can't rush so much. We're going to have an outdoor activity to work out some of that energy (hopefully). Then do some inside work.

 

You're not alone.

[perdidochas]

I'm starting my 3rd year as a WDL. My first piece of advice is to get to know the Boy Scout leaders in local troops. Ask them for Den Chiefs, and get in touch with them sooner rather than later about the co-activities you need to do with a Boy Scout Troop.

 

Also, working with your Den quickly isn't public speaking. It's working with your Webelos.

[pamom]

Thanks for the great advice. You all have made me feel a lot better. It isn't the children I'm worried about though--it's the parents...

 

I know the parents have to be there since there's so much involved with Webelos that are going to be transitioning into boy scouts, but I'd like it more if the parents weren't there. But, what better way to get over the public speaking fear than to do exactly that!!

 

Again, I appreciate all of the supportive advice.. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. I wish I had the leader how to book and the webelos leader guide book but I don't have it yet. I've been waiting to hear back from the cub master to see if she has them, but again.. waiting.. lol

 

 

Thank you I'm glad I found this forum!!

[ScoutNut]

No, the parents do NOT have to be there.

 

As a matter of fact, BSA recommends that parents do not attend every den meeting.

 

An initial Webelos parent/Scout meeting to explain how the Webelos program is different from what they have been used to so far in Cub Scouts, and what you will expect from the boys, is necessary.

 

You can also sign up different parents to run Webelos Activity Awards that they are interested in, or have some knowledge of. This helps the boys get used to the Adult Association Method used with Merit Badges when they get into Boy Scouts.

 

We are trying to get them to be more independent, and ready for the challenges of Boy Scouts. Not to have their parents hold their hand every meeting.

 

From your posts it sounds like you have a very small Pack. How many Webelos (4th grade? 5th grade?) will be in your den?

 

 

[pamom]

It's 4th and 5th graders.. Right now we're looking at about 17 kids, 2 of which are my own

 

I do like that the parents don't have to be there.. I definitely agree that it'd teach them more independence that way..

[pamom]

Plus, thanks to the cub master, I have 2 chiefs already lined up.. My husband will be able to help me out as well... I am excited about it all.. but being thrown into it with a week to get prepared just makes me really nervous..

 

[ScoutNut]

A combined Webelos den of 17 boys is way to much.

 

How do you plan to work with them together when they are at different levels, and working on different things? Not to mention that 17 boys is just to many to work with at one time.

 

They should be separated into 2 dens, one 4th grade, and one 5th grade.

 

[moosetracker]

With 17 boys, I can certainly see why you would put speaking in front of them as well as their parents under the category of "public speaking"..

 

You have more nerve then you give your self credit for, for even considering taking that on! I echo ScoutNut's advice, it really should be broken into two groups..

 

You mentioned two den chiefs, you are required to have one Assistant den Leader, so I am going to assume you have that, although not mentioned (unless that is your husband). But if you even try to consider it I couldn't foresee you doing it without more, so that even if it is one group, you could break the groups apart to work on different activities.

 

Then, also you would need to have room for two groups to work on seperate activities in the same space. Not to mention you would need to plan and organize these seprate activities each week..

 

The Webelos2 will need to work on their Arrow of Light. The Webelos1 should not work on that this year. So if you don't break them up you would almost have to work it like a troop would with two patrols. But your scouts would need more guidence then boys in the troop would due to their age.

 

Ick... Hate to build up you confidence, to probable now, be scaring you. But truely 17 Boys is alot. 17 Boys of that are different grades, thereby have different programs, is ALOT... If your Pack Master was Pack Master, and trying to pull this off, no wonder they had a nervous breakdown.

[pamom]

Luckily, the 5th graders are only 2 boys, one of them being my son.. That's the only reason I think that it can be done. Yes, my husband is "my assistant" and I have 2 den chiefs. I don't have the extra helper just yet but will work those details out tonight when I meet with the cub master... I finally have a time set up to talk with her about it all...

 

 

[Curious]

"It isn't the children I'm worried about though--it's the parents..."

 

If you're OK talking with the scouts, then you need to kind of "forget" that the parents are even there. You do this by focusing on the boys. Sit on the floor and have the boys gather around you. Do not look at the parents. Make eye contact only with the boys and just ignore any parents in the room. Its easier if you can arrange for the parents to be sitting somewhere behind you. Better yet, have hubby take the parents into another room to discuss any upcoming pack or district activities.

 

Also have to agree with the others. Whether its 17 or 15 boys, its still way too many for one den. This needs to be at least 2, if not 3, dens. Ideal den size is 6 to 8 boys. Maybe hubby can work on recruiting a 2nd WDL in the other room?

[Ronniegeo]

Hi pamom,

 

 

I understand being nervous in front of the parents, but just realize that you are the one up there giving your time, and they really aren't in a position to judge! Especially since there are 15 other Scout's parents out there that did not make the commitment to volunteer like you did.

 

My philosophy is that I will "do my best" and if they ever have a complaint, they are more than welcome to take over from me. We had 8 Tigers last year with me as Den Leader, and parents hesitant to help out - this year we have grown to 15 wolves, and it was like pulling teeth to get a 2nd den leader.

 

The fact that you are taking on this role means that you are doing more for the boys than they are, and don't worry about what they think. Do what you think is good for the boys.

 

Ken

[Scoutfish]

Definantly look into finding AT LEAST 2 more den leaders for these boys.

 

Last year, our Bear den had 22-24 active boys. One DL and 3 ADL's.

 

I tried and tried to get the DL to admit we needed to beak the boys up, but he wouldn't see it. I ended up bringing it up at the leaders meeting and feelings got hurt ( mostly the DL's wife for some reason)

 

We constantly had to break the boys into 3 groups just to get anything done. Advancement was always lagging and boys were waiting on belt loops, pins, etc...

It wasn't that the DL was a slacker, it was that there was way too much paperwork, too much advancement and too much attendance to keep track of.

 

 

As gfar as being nervous, well, I think time will take care of that. Pretty soon, you won'tlok at those boys, or their parents as "public" , but rather, you will see them as extended family.

 

Matter of fact, give it a little time, and you will know those boys better than some of your family!