wonder why

[bear dad]

Howdy,Let me first start off by saying that being in cub scouts with my son has been fun so far.Being a DL is little eye opening exeperince.We have all heard the old saying "10 percent of the people do 100 percent of the work"

In our packs case that so true. We are a fairly new pack less than a year, we are still going thru growing pains, but parents still have not a clue what goes on to run a pack. Yes some easier than others to run maybe from more help??

 

My hats off to all you DL'S, CM'S, etc... that you take TIME to make it possible that your boys are having fun, learning things, like values, life principals,but what is makes it worse is when you have parents that are not involved or won't committ to help,either they don't know how or wants someonelse to do it??

 

My case in point, I am Dl for a den, mine you with our pack so far we have only 3 dens because there ages, grades. We had a Dl for tigers, but it failed thru, after repeated attempts and weeks went by, I stepped up and became leader of that den also, just so boys would not fill left out.

 

Please don't think I am bragging on myself, I am not, only trying to show something here, That cub scouts especially is not a 1 person show, but a Team effort. No wonder why DL's and others get burned out so quickly and packs (new ones especially) shut down.

I had a planned a go-see-it with tigers, actually went to pick the mom because of car problems, when I get there, she askes " do I have to come",

ugh,YES my response. I step in to help out,they are all for it, but when it is time go?? Almost makes me think they want me do all, take them and come back and tell how it went.

 

With regards feel like the BIGGEST copout for a parent helping or being is a DL is ( I can't do that or don't know how).

To what do we tell our boys, our motto:

DO YOUR BEST!!!!!

I had no background in this, but am willing, Thats the Key, DO MY BEST. You know I rather do that and try and fail, than be parent sitting on the sidelines complaing about something should had been done diffent or they would have done this way.

Guess in a nut shell, we need more involvement from parents, then just gripping. Sorry for the long rant.

[MNBob]

That's ok. Ranting helps relieve stress especially when you have empathetic readers. :)You can read my (long) Cub Scout leader rant in http://www.scouter.com/forums/viewThread.asp?threadID=268735 which sums up my whole leadership experience since my oldest son started as a Tiger in 2005. Round 2 begins in the fall with my youngest son as a Tiger.

[Oak Tree]

It's not just a Cub Scout principle - it appears to apply fairly universally.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle

[Scoutfish]

bear dad,

Although I am only an ADL, and i have only been invovled in scouting for 2 years.. I completely understand where you are coming from.

 

Last year,I mentioned somethimng about possibly becoming an ADL this year. My son's DL almost did back flips.

 

Earlier this year, ...somehow the conversation came up about being DL's. I casually mentioned that I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of being a DL next year.

 

WOW! I'm almost certain I heard angels sing and thousands of doves fly to the heavens! LOL!

 

Before I knew it, I had several other dls all patting me on the back, invites to every Cub scout/ boy scout lreader training ever thought of ( not to mention I am suddenly on a dozen mailing lists for classes) and Had the CM, ACM, as well as the CC call me in less than 48 hours - just as happy as a pig in mud to talk to me.

 

THis year, I have been to leader and committee meetings. I really made a point of listening to parents and what not during den and pack meetings.

 

This is what I have learned:

 

15% working for 85 % is more apt.

Every parent can tell you exactly what is wrong and how bad it is, but cannot for the life of them give you a soulution or help you fix it.

 

Parents do not have time to even hold a door open for you, but have plenty of time to drive 20 miles to get to Wal-Mart and go shopping and have dinner while you are watching their kids at a den meeting.

 

Those same parents do not have time to work with thei own kids, and usually don't have a clue as to what their child is doing.. but know without a doubt that on pack meeting nights - their kid should gwt an award for "something" because " they have been in it long enough!"

 

And I don't know about any of you guys, but I hate when somebody spews "If you had the right program and training, everybody would drop their personal lives and line up to help out!"

 

BS! That's the whole problem! The parents don't care! They do not want to get involved even if you offered to pay then for their time! They are not interested and won't lift a finger .

 

Why? Because then they couldn't complain about who was responcible for things that went wrong!

 

 

And that is the biggest reason I see parents who do help burn out: They do the work of paid professionals and catch flack from people who have no clue and no willingness to bother helping!

[Scoutfish]

Another fine example:

 

A couple weeks ago, our Cm asked me to present awards for popcorn sales to our Cub Scouts.Something came up at work unexpectedly and she could not make the pack meeting. She called me 1 1/2 hours before the meeting. Like I said, it happened unexpectedly.

 

 

Just before the meeting, as I was sorting out the prizes, paperwork and patches to go with the cubscouts... a mom approached me. She asked me if I was in charge of all the popcorn stuff.

I said no and explained exactly why I was handling any popcorn stuff that night ( which was only handing out awards and recognition).

 

She then asked me if her so was going to get an award. Then tells me that she has handed out over $450.00 in popcorn to customers, but hasn't collected or turned in any money yet.

 

I told her , that while I wasn't an expert in popcorn sales and distribution and collections, I assumed that he probably wouldn't get any prize or award until the money was turned in.

 

She got all mad at me and showed her butt and walked away muttering under her breath about me, the pack , and see if she ever helps out again! Didn't matter that I had just told her I was only handing out prizes as it was listed on a piece of paper that I had just gotten less than 30 minutes before.

 

The money was actually supposed to be turned in a long long time ago as you all probablt know. I cannot say with any certainty, but I'm sure our pack paid for ( translation- Lost $$$ on ) that popcorn.

 

So, I wonder why packs have a hard time getting people to sign up as leaders? LOL!

And in other thoughts... has a study ever been conducted between the relationship of late stage adult alcoholism and post active scout leaders/ committee? LOL!

[bear dad]

thanks for the replies. think parents don't really get it sometimes. we are having our first pwd tonight, despite several times of offering folks some help if they needed, everyone said they was okay.

 

I did come across a mom who I pesronally offered to help and was turn down, she finally said yes. told her to meet me at my house at certain time and she agreed, I put off things to help them out, came home got tools out and she never showed, no call . callled her and asked if she was still coming and she no they got it handled.wonder why leaders get burned out, this was a common curosity to call me and let me know.

 

on another note think the lack of Quality training for leaders from councils, etc.. make a new dl feeling overwelmed at times not wanting to stick with it, especially if they have desire for it.

[Gunny2862]

Please remember this discussion at Crossover time

[bear dad]

Funny thing happened the other night at our PWD, a young man who is a older brother of a boy in my den approached me and ask me I could use some help with the dens and want's to be a asst dl.

He is over 18, but not 21 yet some I said according to what I know you can be a ASST DL, and said a very happy YES to him!

He has already asked me about getting uniforms, shirts, said I happen to have one for him, heck in 10 minutes he has shown more interest some of the parents all year. He is a former scout so maybe some of the good times he had is coming back to him and he can give that to others. Yes he will have YP in place!

 

Gunny2862

can you elaborate on your post, think know what you mean, in case I don't please tell me breifly, thanks