Poor parenting at Council Dad and Scout weekend

[Twocubdad]

Several years ago I was in the bunch of parents back at the campsite while the boys ran wild. On of the moms camp stomping into the campsite yelling at me that the boys were running through the woods and shooting each other with squirt guns and someone was going to fall and there are these big roots all across the trail and some body was going to get hurt and I needed to do something.

 

As for the thing in the amphitheater, that sounds to me like more of a nuisance than a real safety issue. Believe me, I can't stand having a bunch of kids screaming and misbehaving when they should be settling down. But this sounds more like a "Hey, kids. Go play over there" solution than an issue for the health and safety guys. At any Scout event I've every attended, there are plenty of "in charge" type around who will let the guys and parents know if they are out of line.

 

The dad of the injured lad may have been a few bricks short of a full cube, but I try not to ascribe too much to how folks behave in situations like that. Who knows what was going through his mind.

 

"Helen," I said. "We're at Cub Scout camp. The Council spent $3.5 million so these kids can run through the woods squirting each other. That's what we're here for. If someone falls, the first aid kit is on the picnic table."

 

She stood there for a minute, staring at me with her lips pursed and her hands on her hips. After awhile, she took a deep breath, said, "You know, you're right." Then pulled up a chair, joined the adult conversation and let the kids run through the woods.

 

Now I'm sitting there, looking like a genius to the other parents, but honestly, it usually doesn't work out that well. More times than not, the mom won't let it be. But those little successes are like the eagle on a par 4 that keep us playing through 12 rounds of double-bogey golf.

 

(This message has been edited by Twocubdad)

[Basementdweller]

Well said.

[ScoutMomSD]

as a mom I want to note that the way mom's interact with their kids is different than the way dad's do. And in general mom's spend way more time with their kids and in many instances understand their limits much more (as we see them tested on a daily basis). I love my husband but for every hour he spends with him, I have probably spent 3 or 4.

 

Which is WHY these weekends are great.

 

Plus mom's tend to try to prevent problems and men tend to pick up the pieces after the fact. Even in business I saw this time and time again.

 

Boys need and crave BOTH sides. Yes they love to run and jump on rocks but they also love to cuddle up to mom with a blanket on the couch at night. At least for now.

 

 

[Lisabob]

Scoutmom, I think it would be good to speak for yourself. As another mom, I don't know that I would agree with your characterization, writ large. Perhaps this describes your experiences - not every mom's though.

[Twocubdad]

I read somewhere that what boys learn from their fathers/male partners is limits. The boys can figure out how to wrestle, climb trees, throw rocks and generally get into trouble all by themselves. What they get from their dads is the ability to stop before it goes too far.

 

"Okay, boys, now that's enough."

 

But for that to be effective, they have to get up a head of steam. If you never let them get close to the line, they never learn where the line is.

[ScoutMomSD]

I will clarify a couple points then I am so done, you can stick a fork in me.

 

first I said I DID make a good income. I GAVE IT UP to be a mom and be there for my kids. Someone in a prior post had thought I was working full time. I know thats the problem with these disjointed discussions. It was only the point of the fact that as to being there for the kids we have done as much as humanly and financially possible. nuff said on that one.

 

the reason I started this thread is because I have seen a trend especially with younger parents to just let kids do whatever the heck they want, and then the kids become ultra brats. Watch a few episodes of Judge Judy to see how that ends up when they are in their teens. It is very easy to let kids do whatever they want. It is very hard to set up and maintain controls on kids.

 

And I will say I just dont agree with this "we have to toughen them up" attitude. My son it 8. I dont care if he toughens up. I have seen a real trend specifically with the dads about how they need to not be coddled, ad nausea.

 

Despite BB guns, target practice and all the rock throwing you can do, some of these boys will be hairdressers, some will be actors, some will be musicians, some will be even worse -- politicians!!! Many will not continue with the religion they are raised in. And that is OKAY. Its our job to make them good people. And part of being a good person is being kind and considerate to others and playing nice.

 

done with this thread - take care.

[evmori]

It's never good to paint with a broad brush ScoutMomSD. I would disagree with the broad generalizations in your post, too. They might apply to you & your family, but they don't describe the majority of the population.

[AnniePoo]

" mom's tend to try to prevent problems and men tend to pick up the pieces after the fact"

 

I certainly agree with this.

[Gunny2862]

And the PC police have NO problem going after Dads apparently. Aughh!

If YOU aren't going to play then don't preach it at me.

 

I'd certainly allow you to place a proximity sensor on my child that tells you who he's with more, Mom or Me. I think your model would break in our case. Betcha $10.