meddling parent issue

[Maleficent]

I have a good CM, but very much a person with control issues. He has a son in my Bear den. This week I let the boys vote on a den emblem to use after they graduate to Webelos because they were so excited to do it. Four boys were not in attendance, so I told the boys I would let those absent know what their choices were and get their vote. It was only fair since they are part of the den too, and all my boys are very active.

 

Well, the CM's son's choice was in our final 4. I sent out an e-mail that night and within a day all the absent boys picked CM's son's choice. Interesting since none of the rest of the den had liked it but whatever. I found out yesterday at the Pack Committee meeting that CM took it upon himself to call the parents of all absent boys the night of our den meeting and tell them the choices, but didn't include all the names. This all came out because the Awards Coordinator told me her son wanted to change his vote. CM overheard and was really bothered by it.

 

I feel like this was a passive-aggressive move to ensure that his son's selection was picked, and further, that it was probably the name he himself approved of. The whole thing just feels tainted to me somehow, very manipulative. I have not announced the name yet because I just don't feel good about the whole process.

 

I think there should be a revote, but how do I do it without calling out the CM, making his son feel bad (who probably didn't even know this was happening, but I'm sure his dad has told him his choice would win), and me looking like an idiot?

 

Thanks.

[Twocubdad]

Keep it low key. Doesn't sound like a hill you want to die for.

 

One of two possible approaches: First, just let it fade away. It's really rather early for a Bear den to start worrying about Webelos patrol names anyway. Put it off for a week or two and chances are the boys will forget about it anyway. If one of the boys asks, tell him the den will work on that again closer to the end of the year. If an adult asks, roll your eyes at them and keep walking.

 

Second approach would be to show up at the next meeting and have a re-do with everyone present. "We just want to be fair to everyone who wasn't at last week's meeting, right?" Let every boy who suggested a name make the case for his nomination, then vote by secret ballot. And then close the subject.

 

Don't you hate it when the adults can't play well with the others?

[evmori]

Do over! Don't hold the next vote without all present!

[DeanRx]

There's a REASON proper elections use secret ballots. Unfortunately, your CM just proved WHY its needed.

 

Declare a miscount and have a revote using a ballot system. All scouts in the Den will vote at the same time. Do not announce it until it is happening. List the 4 finalist names that they can choose from.

 

This gives those scouts that MIGHT have been influenced by the CM an opportunity to change their mind w/out the CM being able to call them out on it.

 

Then tally the votes - simple majority wins. If at all possible, do this all in one meeting - no one gets to "absentee ballot" afterwards. If anyone asks WHY - then tell them without invoking the CM's name that you believe the previous vote might have been influenced by an outside force and leave it at that.

 

The kids will overlook it and the adults that know about it will see it for what it was - the CM overstepped and you let him know that you know without actually confronting him about it.

 

Then name your patrol and move on with life.

 

Good Luck

 

YiS,

 

DeanRx

[Maleficent]

Thanks for the replies.

 

It was a secret ballot, but it was clear from chatter than no one had liked or voted for CM's kid's name.

 

I'll declare a miscount and we'll do a revote in person. I like the idea of all having to be present, but so many of them play sports it almost never happens. There's always one missing, but four is unusual. You've got your fall sports, your winter sports, your spring sports, then summer all-star leagues. The worst is when they overlap. Ay yi yi.

 

Tina

 

 

[Sarge]

Tell the boys there will be a do-over on X date. There will be no absentee ballots. If you want your vote, you have to be there.

Majority of vote from those in attendance wins.

Period.

[Mafaking]

 

 

Make a big deal out of this. Work it into your program as an election learning event. Go over the top with speakers for each critter. Have banners or mock debates. Have a voting booth.

 

Print ballots. Write the four names or use a characters on a sheet of paper. Announce the vote two weeks in advance. Then hand the ballots to the scouts and tell him to go vote right then and there.