New Trouble in Troop w/ Picky Eater

[scomman]

Below is a sample letter thatwe used when telling a boy that he was being removed from the troop and why. Above document everything with a incident report and file it with the Charter Organization. Consult the troop committee invite one or two of them to attend these events and witness the parent's behavior.

 

 

 

Dear (parents Name)

 

We the troop committee after consulting with the Charter Organization and after careful consideration have decided to remove your son from the troop. The reasons for this are (list reasons)Please be aware that we will keep this information on file.

 

If you feel this move is in error you are invited to attend the next committee meeting on (date) to discuss this.

[OldGreyEagle]

Holy Cow Batman, Robin beefed...

 

Scomman, I have to tell you that I am a little shocked that a troop would have a form letter for the expressed purpose of expelling a scout from the troop. How often is the letter used in a year abd how many scouts are in your troop and can you give the scenario when the letter was last used?

[kd6rxy]

I agree with all, but oust the mother and suspend the boy. If he wishes to return, the let it be without mom, otherwise, he doesn't return.

 

As far as the form letter, the first written can (and usually does in our troop) become the "form" for all subsequent letters of the same nature. None of us like to do things more than once.

[scomman]

OGE,

In ten years we have only used it once. The boy that was removed from the troop was seen by numerous leaders of both the troop and other troops hitting younger boys on a district campout. He was also caught using a knife incorrectly and throwing another kids property on a campfire. The mother had a known tendency to sue at the slightest chance and we knew it. After consulting with the Troop Committe and Charter Organization it was decided for safety reasons thaat this boy had to go. We wrote up everything in a incident report as required by our Charter Organization. That was when the vote was taken to remove him.

It was a harsh experince and hard on all of us but it wwas something we had to do. We had tried to work with him and his parents but the decision was he had to go.

[evmori]

I'm not real big on kicking kids out of Scouting. Kids like this need the program. That's why I would suspend the Scout. It is possible he will be remorseful & a suspension is all he needs to get his head on straight. But if he isn't remorseful & mom feels he is not being treated fairly, then he won't come back. Either way, the problem is resolved & you can move on.

 

I would also advise my DE of the situation since he/she will probably get a call or letter about it.

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[OldGreyEagle]

Thank you scomman, I was hoping that was the case

[Bob White]

Wanting to ban the parent and keep the child is a nice thought but not possible in the BSA. We cannot restrict a custodial parent or legal guardian from any activity. Youth protection rules prohibit such a ban and rightly so.

 

It's wonderful to think that scouting can cure all evils, but it can't. We are not a group of trained therapists, and this child needs one. If your goal is to help the boy, then convince the parents to get him the help he needs.

 

 

Bob White

 

[ASM7]

It seems to me that this scout is a product of poor parenting or more precisely no parenting. Where is the Father! Obviously not present. The Mother justifies everything the scout does so he has no sense of right or wrong. Is the scout an only child? If not, are his siblings the same way? Counseling is definitely needed. I recommend suspension until this happens. It's a hard call with a situation like this. The scouting program is the place he needs to be to learn from good adult examples. Everything needs to be documented and the unit commissioner needs to be notified. They are trained to handle this type of situation. If he deems it neccesary to go higher or advises stronger action, let it be his call. The more monkey you can get off of your back, the better. The boy probably needs to see his Mom admonished for her actions so he knows that she won't be always able to cover for him. I'm interested in learning what transpires.

[ASM7]

One more thing. There is no way this scout will advance in rank because he does not show scouting spirit and definitely has no understanding of the Scout Law and Oath. When all his mates are advancing and he is not, he will do one of three things.

1. Get bored with the whole thing and cull himself out.

2. Stay a tenderfoot all his life. or

3. Get in line and prove us all wrong

 

What are your bets out there? 1. 2. or 3.

 

The system usually takes care of itself. A Scoutmaster has a lot of power when he honestly does not sign a scout off on that requirement. Just hope nothing terrible happens in the mean time.

[Bob White]

There is no need to notify the commissioner. The Charter organization is the ultimate authority in this manner. The council will not, does not want to, and does not have the authority, to impose itself on the decision of the charter organization in such a matter.

 

 

Also the fewer people you invlove the better for the confidentiality of the family.

 

 

[Quixote]

Just adding my voice to the chorus - I would wxpect our committee and COR to suspend the boy for 6 months with the following stipulations on re-entering the troop:

1. A letter to the committee (written by the boy) stating WHY he wants to be in scouting

2. A SM Conference with the boy and his parent to assess the attitude of the boy.

 

Our troop policy lays this out (it was used last year apparently for one of the boys that is now trying to get back into the troop - he's a life scout and has really changed from the experience).

 

Good Luck

YIS

Quixote

[rlculver415]

I have been reading this thread with great interest. My brother has a nephew who acts very like this troubled boy: killing small animals for fun, beating on his little sister, etc. The mother is a good person, the dad a tad weird. Anyway, mom takes son to shrink. Shrink advises three things: 1) the whole family goes to church together - failed to do so because dad is an atheist; 2) boy must quit martial arts lessons and join a team sport; 3) boy must join Scouts and actively participate. I can't really say what the family has done about the last two requirements. I found it interesting that the counselor ordered scouting as part of therapy. Frankly, the boy frightens most of the family. We see another sociopath growing up. I am curious if the boy in this thread has a similar history outside of Scouts, and if he is in any kind of therapy. He and his family all need it desperately. I'd go for suspension as a first option were I on the committee involved, for whatever my vote counts for.

[jbroganjr]

I still think the boy should be removed from the troop. If this was one or two incidents, then a suspension would be in line, but the wanton killing of an animal and behavior towards other scouts in addition to a blatant disregard to the PLC tells me that this kid has to go. This also does not address the mothers constant threat of physical abuse. By this troop doing nothing, this behaviour is being condoned.

If you where to ask the PLC their thoughts, what would they say, suspend, keep or let go? I'd bet they'd move for removal, as kids are much tougher with rules and conducts of behavior than us adults.

One thing that springs to my mind is that is we cannot expect an abnormal thinking adult to abide by the social contract, which scouting does serve. A person who readily resorts to threats of physical violence and who's son demonstrates this violence is not going to be made a better person because of scouting, rather the rest of your troop will suffer from this experiment. I think, in this case, with the facts presented as such, you have to let them go. Even though that will cause the mental stress/dilema of scouters who believe we have to keep each kid.

Good Luck

I believe any charter org. will back you up on an expulsion with this type of behavior, especially since it is not isolated, rather continuing bad behavior.

jbroganjr

[SagerScout]

I vote for the 60-day suspension, with strict conditions for re-entry, one of them being the offending parent take at least the Scoutmaster quickstart training and apologise to the involved adults and boys for her bad behavior. This will probably eliminate the problem entirely as I can't picture it happening, but if it does, then there may be some hope for the kid.

 

If I ever saw them again, I also would have a very high index of suspicion for child abuse in this family and would be alert to any evidence for same. If any is observed reporting is required.

[Scoutmaster Ron]

The boy and parent should be removed from the troop especially after the threat of violence.