Battling Home Sickness

[OldGreyEagle]

Back from Camp and had something new happen, out of 22 new scouts (first year program), three went home homesick, one came back a day later with his father, but the other two stayed. Scoutmaster and Committee Chair talked, cajoled, wheedled etc for hours before giving up as the attitude of the home sickies was infecting the rest of the group. How do you battle this problem? In 5 years of comming to camp, this is the first time I ever saw this.

[evmori]

Homesickness is worse than an actual illness or injury.

 

I have a steadfast rule in my Troop that I will never send a boy home because he is homesick. To me, this does no one any good. I have had Scouts at summer camp who were homesick. They wanted to call home & I asked them what they needed & told them I would call. I did & talked to the parents to tell them what was going on and ask for their support in not sending their son home.

 

Usually homesickness hits when the Scout has down time. I think the key to helping prevent it is to keep them busy so they don't think about home.

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[sctmom]

A couple of scouts in my son's troop got homesick. My son said his tentmate cried for an hour on Wednesday night. The adults were determined that no one was going home early. They said the only phone in camp was for emergencies and the cell phones didn't work. They tried to befriend the boys the best they could. The boys made it.

 

As a child I got homesick and no that talking to your parents does NOT help. It makes things worse.

 

[slontwovvy]

I agree with sctmom on this one. Obviously don't deny the parents all contact with their children, just encourage other Scouts to befriend the lonely Scout and most problems will be solved. Often, though, contact with parents makes things worse.

[k9gold-scout]

One year we sent one homesick scout to the first aid lodge(staffed by a Dr. and a nurse), after two days he was back to activities with the troop.Yes he did call home and the parents spoke with the camp staff and decided to leave him there for another day, then all was well.

[rlculver415]

I have never taken a scout to camp, but I have been a camp staff counselor. I have also taken youth to various summer camps for years. I expect the homesickness experience is similar, regardless of the group name. Whenever I have had to deal with homesickness, I try to do the following:

 

1) Like Ed Mori above, I was the one to contact the parents first, to ask their support not to allow the kid to go home.

 

2) We usually have a pre-camp meeting with youth and parents, where we outline all expectations including our policy on homesickness.

 

3) Usually, due to the above, I can honestly tell the extremely-grieving youth that "Mama isn't going to be able to get you until..." (some day just past the half-way point in camp).

 

I try to counsel parents not to be too sympathetic when their child calls to cry (it does make things worse), rather to be supportive of the program and encourage their child to give it more time. It is a hard thing all around, for the group, the child, the parents, and the adult leaders. In all the time I've been doing this, I have observed that the youth finally adjust to the new experience and end up having a blast. Have y'all noticed that it usually is the first year campers who struggle with this? I had a 12-year-old camper this summer who had never left home ever before - it was an very difficult adjustment for her, but she also just hated to come home at the end of the week!

[SagerScout]

IN the Girl Scouts, there seems to be a bigger emphasis on progression being a step-at-a-time type of thing. Girls might start with a sleepover and then backyard camping and so on, by the time they're going to week-long camps they're pretty gutsy. However, since the week-long camps do start quite young (sometimes 1st or 2cd grade) it still can occur. For these first aid emergencies, camp staff have official homesickness medicine, in an official looking bottle. It tastes oddly like snocone syrup and works extremely well. You tell the young patient that you know that the pain in her chest from missing Mommy really hurts, and that it takes the medicine about 20 minutes to work, so she'll have to suffer for about 20 more minutes. You suggest that she can sit on her bunk and write Mom a letter to help her through the bad time while she's waiting for the medicine to work, measure out 5 mil and have her wash it down with water. The you can honestly and truthfully tell her that she'll most likely be feeling much better in about half an hour. She will. Kids have been known to bounce off their beds after 10 minutes shouting, "It works! I feel fine!" and zoom off to the next activity.

 

I don't know that a 12 year old would fall for it but I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, "Yes, it does hurt and make you feel sad to be away from home but if you'll rest up a bit and write a letter home you'll feel much better." Stack the deck by telling the youngun that the letter should include the best things about camp, because he doesn't want to "scare mom." After some quiet time writing about the fun he's having, he'll be a lot less likely to want to leave.

 

Of course, if he's not HAVING fun you have a different problem that should be dealt with differently. Also, if the other kids are hassling him there's something to deal with there too.

 

 

[sst3rd]

Since our Troop usually goes out of Council, the camp is usually about 5 hours away. Parents and Scouts are told that in the case of disipline problems or homesickness, the parent makes the trip. This cuts problems down quite a bit. All of the prior advice is good. The main thing is knowing the Scout, his family, and keeping the Scouts very busy throughout each day. At the end of the day, they usually come to an adult leader asking to go to sleep. We just got back from our week. For the first time in several years, we had two new Scouts. One Scout was so busy at Brownsea (first year program), he couldn't breathe. The second Scout got sick Tuesday, and I thought this was the end, but he surprised me. He woke up Wednesday morning, and said he felt "great," and off he went to his classes. Thursday night on his overnighter with the Wilderness Survival class, there was a rattle snake problem. He freaked out, and around 9:00PM that night, the Staff brought him back to our camp. We talked and he got in with the Troop program that night, and all was fine (he knows he'll make up the requirement at our next Troop weekend trip). He woke up sick again Friday morning, and he had to skip breakfast. But when we were walking back to camp from the mess hall, he met us in front of Scout Craft with several required projects, ready to wrap up his merit badge classes. I was proud of his making these efforts, and I told him so.

 

anderson

[Double Eagle]

OGE, Last year I had a couple of the scouts get homesick. What I did was have some of the older scouts individually talk with the scout and keep them busy. This worked pretty well. Their blue state only lasted for about an hour and back to scouting stuff. Some precautions could be pre-written letters from parents and given secretly to the SM to use as needed. On the council level, if the problem is widespread, the parent's day at camp being closer to the middle of the week. Ours is on Friday. Wednesday is my recommendation, helps with depleting scout finances (that dang trading post just has too much good stuff) and is a good support day to keep going with the activities.

As for the phone, case-by-case. I've seen this help and I've seen scouts plead, cry, and beg to come home with no luck. This only made it hard for me to explain why the parents would not let them or come to get them. Hard on the scout and me when the phone call only compounded the problem.

As a scout, I remember some scouts that were homesick. The easing into longer campouts works. As SM, I discourage the parent/scout tent partners. Scouts with scouts. This is a step especially for the close ones. Kind of breaking ties gently.

[OldGreyEagle]

We did see this comming. The initial scout had not participated in the church "lock-down" sleepin, did not attend the First year Camp-out (just for our first year scouts) or any of the two troop camp-outs prior to Camp. So camp was the first time he was away from home. (for the first time it turns out). The kid was crying/sobbing all day tuesday from breakfast till the dad arrived at 9:30 pm. Older scouts, adults, counselors, nothing made an impression. This all effected two other scouts, one of which came back which got him a cheer from the other scouts when he returned.

 

We just have to be sure Camp is not the first away from home experience for the boy and keep them busy, I think thats the key from the postings.

[smaster101]

Ive just finished my 14th summer at camp as a troop leader, and Ive seen homesickness show up in a variety of ways. Sounds like OGEs troop tried everything they could think of, but sometimes, severe homesickness is unavoidable. Its a difficult subject to deal with because every boy responds differently. Im no expert, and maybe Ive just been lucky, but weve had very few cases of homesickness over the past few years. Heres a variety of things I try to do to prevent/overcome the homesickness problem.

 

 A good Webelos to Scout transition program helps younger boys get to know the adult leaders and older scouts before going on campouts as a troop member.

 Have a good Troop Guide that the new scouts can relate to. I feel this is one of the most critical troop positions and should be appointed by the SM so he can select individuals with the right personality for the job. I tell my troop guides that their main job is to be a friend and mentor to the first year scouts.

 Try to schedule 2 or 3 troop campouts that the new scouts can attend before camp. This lets them know what to expect about how the troop runs, and given them a chance to build some confidence.

 The SM should get to know the new scouts long before summer camp. Let them see you as a person they can approach rather than as a stranger. I was shocked at one campout this spring when some new scouts performed a funny campfire skit about me losing my reading glasses and mistaking poison ivy for TP. I had just spent the day doing TFoot SM conferences with them, and I think they needed a funny way to get back at me.

 Pre-camp planning for advancement and MB work helps build up anticipation for camp. Our veteran campers talk up camp a lot so the new scouts know what to expect.

 Have a very strict policy against any type of hazing. Even teasing or small pranks played on new scouts can cause them to be anxious.

 At camp I try to make myself accessible to the all the scouts as much as possible. I rotate my table in the dinning hall so I eventually sit with everyone to talk about how the week is going, and make sure they arent having any problems. While I let the SPL and ASPLs run the troop, I dont keep in the background either. Ill usually be found in my tent or sitting in the campsite so Im available to any scout that wants to sit and talk, needs help with a project or just wants tohang out for a little while. Some seem to like this, others I never see all week. Also after taps I walk by each tent and talk to each patrol individually (Yes, with youth protection policies always in mind. The tents are open so I can stand outside the platform and talk quietly to them). Sometime they talk about how their day went or even complain about something. Its a few minutes of quiet time that I think helps them settle down and feel more comfortable

 Keep them busy. Downtime is a problem. Also if they are very active during the day theyll sleep solidly at night. However dont push for all advancement or all fun. Camp needs to be a good mix of both. A few years ago our troop started a tradition of a having a troop shaving cream fight just before dineer on the last full day at camp. The veterans talk it up with the new guys as one of the things they really look forward to, and I believe that the anticipation of it keeps some new guys going during the week.

 Have your trusted older scouts keep an eye out for any kid feeling down and tell you about it before he gets too far along.

 If you do have a scout that seems to be feeling down, try partnering him with an older scout. Some new scouts dont make friends easily, and an older buddy is just what he needs to feel special and less alone.

 Use the professional camp staff for extreme cases. I havent had to use this yet, but one of the chaplains at our camp has a collie that he uses as therapy for homesick scouts, and Ive heard its very effective.

 I dont agree with letting the scout call home because Ive tried it and I think it just makes things worse for both the scout and his parents. We live within 1 hour of our local camp, and I have a problem with dads just dropping by for the day to bond with their son. If a kid is going to have a problem its when dad leaves. So, I have tried to discourage this, but not as successfully as Id like.

 

So, as I said, maybe Ive been lucky, but last year I had 18 first year campers and this year I had 14, and no real homesickness to deal with either time.

 

Sorry this was longer than I expected, but I hope that by sharing some of the things weve tried over the years it will help some first year scout have better week at camp.

 

 

 

[eagle90]

smaster 101, your post above should be printed out by every SM taking a group to camp. What excellent advice. I applaud your insight.

[evmori]

Ditto smaster101. All excellent points. If the Scout didn't attend any of the pre-camp stuff, he shouldn't be allowed to go! I know we don't want to deprive anyone of the summer camp experience but when it becomes detrimental to other Scouts in the Troop then it becomes harmful and a dangerous precident can be set.

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

[Glenn]

smaster101,

 

I really like your list. However, the one where you discourage dads from dropping in for a day has me a little confused. Our camp encourages parents and siblings to visit on Wednesday evening after dinner. Personally, I talked my wife out of visiting our son last year when he was a first class scout because I thought it would embarass him. But this year I was able to attend camp and three scout families came to visit. It had no effect for two of the campers, but the third one really seemed glad that his parents were able to visit.

 

I guess I do not know where I stand on this issue. Perhaps after I gain more experience I will agree with you.

 

Ed (Evmori),

 

I like the Scripture verse you sign off with. Very appropriate for a Scouter forum.

[evmori]

Glenn,

Thanks. I started using it when I was in charge of the sound system at my church & carried it over to Scouting.

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10