Help! Bears Behaving Badly

[CinciScout Mom]

Does anyone have any ideas for character building games/activities that I could use with a den of misbehaving Bear Cubs? This is a Catholic Cub Scout pack/den, so something religion-based would be fine. I have searched the web to no avail. There are 10 boys in the den (10 out of the 11 3rd grade boys in the school) and at some point or another 9 of the 10 have had pretty substantial behavior issues. There are a couple ringleaders who are consistent problems, but all but one have had behavior issues at one time or another. I have tried many incentives and disciplines, to no lasting avail. They are noisy, don't settle down, and treat each other badly. They are very competitive and there are a few very emotional boys in the group. Any ideas welcome! Thanks!

[struax]

Sounds real familiar....

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/01/18/AR2008011803722.html?sub=AR

[RememberSchiff]

 

Some questions

 

1. What are your den rules? You and your scouts should have developed a rules list. These rules should be prominently displayed in LARGE BOLD FONT during the den meeting.

 

2. When a scout is not following a rule, does den activity stop? If too much time is wasted do they miss out on the game activity?

 

3. Do you use a timer (some use a lighted candle, some an hourglass) to measure duration of good behavior and then say if we go 5 or 10 minutes more the next time, then we will have some reward?

 

4. What help do you have? Parents, den chief, denner.

 

 

[CinciScout Mom]

1. What are your den rules? You and your scouts should have developed a rules list. These rules should be prominently displayed in LARGE BOLD FONT during the den meeting.

 

Yes - rules were developed as a group and on a poster that we put at front of room at each meeting. I don't have it in front of me but it includes keeping hands to self, listening when others talk, no bad words, etc. Very standard and inclusive.

 

2. When a scout is not following a rule, does den activity stop? If too much time is wasted do they miss out on the game activity?

 

Yes and yes. Planned activity/advancement stuff is always first with 15-20 minutes of planned "play time" at end. If someone talks when I am talking, I stop until they stop -- so activity doesn't continue or get done in scheduled time, cutting into their play time. They have completely missed out on the "play time" on more than one occasion, so they understand that there is a very real consequence. One time they were running around out of control outside and I made them sit down, cancelled the last activity and made them sit there until their parents came. Then explained to the parents what had happened. This has helped only marginally, but has not been sufficient. If misbehavior is limited to one child, I separate him from the group so the others are not penalized and he is not able to rejoin for a set number of minutes.

 

3. Do you use a timer (some use a lighted candle, some an hourglass) to measure duration of good behavior and then say if we go 5 or 10 minutes more the next time, then we will have some reward?

 

I have not done a timer for group good behavior, but have tried individual incentives/rewards. Got some flack from a couple parents for rewarding expected behavior. I don't disagree with their point of view -- but was willing to try it anyway. Used a traffic light system -- everyone starts on green -- if you stay on green you get a small reward, one free warning for 1st infraction, 2nd infraction move to yellow which is neutral (no reward, but no report to parents), 3rd infraction move to red -- report to parents. Worked well the first time. Second time nearly every boy ended up in the red zone.

 

4. What help do you have? Parents, den chief, denner.

 

I have at least one parent at every meeting. Our pack does not use denners. I did have a den chief for a while (my older son who was 1st Class at the time). There is a basic lack of respect for authority when this group is together and they did not show him respect, either. At one recent meeting, I had 2 mothers there. After the structured part of the meeting (building airplane models from kits) the "play" part was building a model city with Legos. During the second "reward" part of the meeting, the son of one of the mothers present socked the son of the other mother in the face -- in front of all 3 of us adults. So even when their own moms are there, they don't always behave. They are known throughout the school as being the most difficult group of boys, I think. The parents are all good people, all very involved (of the 10 families, 8 have been helpers on at least one occasion this year), and I am absolutely certain they are all reinforcing at home what the behavior standards are. It has not helped.

 

We hold our Blue/Gold in May and so the boys have until then to complete their requirements, but I set the year up so that everything that we are doing as a group has already been done. Most of them have completed nearly all of the other home/family requirements and are on track to finish all their Bear requirements very soon (3 of the 10 are completely done). I have thought about telling them that we are now moving into Phase 2 - the "elective" phase and that it is a privilege to participate, not a right. Accordingly I am thinking about a 1-meeting ban for any boy who is disruptive or disrespectful. Is this too harsh?

 

In the meantime, I am very eager to find a fun teaching activity to reinforce the expected behaviors and this is something I haven't had any luck finding.

[CinciScout Mom]

Struax -

Thanks for the inspirational article. We can hope, can't we?!

[RememberSchiff]

"This is a Catholic Cub Scout pack/den, so something religion-based would be fine."

 

You mean like exorcism? Unfortunately Sister Anita wielding a ruler would not be allowed ... but I seem to remember it working on me.

 

Yes, we expect good scout behavior from all scouts, without exception. The "reward" is the privilege of being a scout. The traffic light is too lenient for this group, I would make it harder. First infraction, timeout on bench. Next call parents for pickup.

 

You need some reinforcements - no nonsense non-den adults. Before your next meeting, have meeting with Cubmaster and Pack Committee. Invite, no subpoena, your Cubmaster, Committee members and maybe your former den chief's (your older son's) Scoutmaster to attend your next den meeting to talk about the Scout Oath and following the rules. That Scoutmaster should be interested as to why your son dropped a leadership position.

 

With that help. Develop a new strategy to get your scouts back in the program. That new strategy might include

 

- more adult leaders present.

- remove ringleaders

- restrictions to Pack activities, e.g. cannot attend picnic unless they "green lighted" at past 4 den meetings.

- splitting den

- shorter meetings

- adding more den chiefs

- require uniform inspections as a discipline tool

- more sports, they are a high activity bunch

- develop a Pack Code of Conduct. Punching another scout means

the scout leaves activity. He and his parents has a talk with Cubmaster and CC before he is allowed, if at all, back in the den.

 

 

(This message has been edited by RememberSchiff)(This message has been edited by RememberSchiff)

[CinciScout Mom]

Thanks much, RememberSchiff. Very helpful suggestions. One response as to my older son's term as Den Chief -- he completed a 10-month term and his Scoutmaster wanted him to rotate to a leadership position in their troop, so that is what he did. This worked out well for him since he was not available this school year anyway since the Cubs meet right after school beginning at 3pm and my older son had practice everyday after school for Cross Country in the fall and then wrestling in the winter. I also think he needed some peer leadership opportunities, so I was fine with it -- although his assistance is missed.

 

 

[WDL Mom]

Hi,

 

Been there! I have a den of 12 Webelos II's. We have been together as a group since Wolf. They are a HIGH ENERGY group. If you don't have something for them to do, they WILL invent their own activity! Some things that have worked for me, your mileage may vary...

 

1. Divide and conquer. I NEVER have any activity for 12 boys. They can't/won't sit and listen. I split them into 3 or 4 groups. They rotate to 3 or 4 different stations. These stations are manned by parents, ADL and a Den Chief. It is much harder to cut up when you are in a group of 3. Plus you get to pick the groups, and can eliminate the obvious conflicts. These stations last 10 minutes tops. If it is fun, they want more, and I can use it at another meeting as a gathering activity. If it is dry or not fun, then they aren't stuck there long.

 

2. Be consistent. Kids this age are creatures of habit. Pick a discipline strategy and maintain it. They may behave the first time and push it the second. They need consistent adult behavior to guide them. This isn't easy. We want a quick fix that works and we only want to do it once. My boys don't work that way.

 

3. Make it fun and get excited about what you are doing! For example we were working on the Food Pyramid last year... boring! So, I gave each group a bag of groceries and told them to organize the food and present to the group. THEN we talked about the Pyramid and how it is organized. Of course we had a relay race putting the food in the "correct" order. Then we ate most of the food...

 

4. Learn what your guys like and try to include it in each meeting. My guys like, camping, food, dodgeball, fire, building things, tearing things apart, tag, geocaching...

 

These types of boys are a challenge to channel, but a joy to behold. I never have to "motivate" someone to participate, they want to be there! I look forward to their bridging into Boy Scouts. I think they will be a natural when it comes to boy led, because they want to do, not sit and listen. I just remind them to use their powers for good not evil...

 

Good luck and hang in there!