Aggrivating Parents?

[Lady_Leigh67]

That should be Parents that Aggrivate! lol!

 

Anyway, we just had our Blue and Gold. This is our first year for our Pack. We started just in October. Hubby is Cubmaster, I am Tiger Den Leader, among a million other things. Anyway, we have one family that is friends with a Cubmaster at a nearby Pack. A Pack that has been in existence for a looooonggggg time. The Cubmaster has been there a loooonnngggg time. These particular parents are not being very supportive and are basically complaining about everything that happens. From what we have heard from going to Roundtable, training, or District Exec., etc., that we are doing very well for being new and small still.

 

These parents are not registered adults. Don't do anything to really help. Well, she did help with B&G, but you get what I mean.

 

How do we keep from having these two get to us? It is driving us crazy (including our Committee Chair {who started the Pack} and the Den Leaders that work with their son). Help! Any advice guys?

[Aquila calva]

Suggestion: The Cubmaster and Committee Chair can make a list of all the jobs that need to be done in the next year. These are the jobs needing a volunteer adult to help provide leadership. Make this list generally available at committee meetings and pack meetings.

 

Whenever someone complains, or offers a suggestion for improvement, hand them a copy of the list and ask Which job would you like to volunteer to do this next year? The Pack (Den) can use your good help.

 

 

[Cubmaster Chris]

One time, another leader suggested to me taking a folder and putting "Complaint Forms" on the outside and filling it with blank Leader Apps...

 

I'm going to take a different angle from a lot of people on this one.

 

If they're help is welcome, then you already know what to do-get them to volunteer.

 

If they do volunteer, will their changes be welcome, or is the Pack Leadership happy with how things are progressing? Most of us will say that they need to jump in and help the Pack, but if the rest of the Pack is happy with everything and they are not, they will get frustrated and you've solved nothing.

 

If not, then another suggestion would be to move to another Pack. We have had a few parents and Scouts who were on the verge of quitting altogether; we suggested they try out other Packs and find one they felt was more in agreement with their personal "style". They did and began to enjoy Scouts more and the parents ultimately became co-Den Leaders.

[eagle-pete]

Lady_Leigh67

 

Welcome

 

In general - Parents who constantly complain should be confronted about it. Now, I am talking about people who do nothing but complain and they do this at every scouting event. This should be taken care of, as it causes morale problems among the Cub Leadership. Who should confront them? This depends on where the complaints are mainly centered. If they complain about the cub program in general, the Cub Master should first speak with them. This should be a private, informal meeting with the goal of addressing the concerns of the parents. The Cub Master should be prepared to take their side in consideration and work with them. After such a meeting, if the complaints have not been resolved, I would invite the parents to meet with the Cub Committee and Cub Master to address their concerns.

 

If the concerns are directed to a particular den then the Den Leader and their assistant should meet with the parent(s) and a similar meeting with the intent to work with the parents and resolve concerns should be held. If this meeting is not resolving anything then invite the Cub Master to attend and attempt to resolve their concerns.

 

If, after making every attempt to resolve the parent(s) concerns, you are still not making any progress, then I might do something along the lines which Cubmaster Chris suggested. Normally, I don't suggest that a family leave the pack to go to another (it is likely they will just take their complaints to the next pack). It has the conotation of dumping your problems onto another pack. Sending them to another pack would be after every avenue had been tried to resolve the concerns and issues which the parent(s) have. Typically, I have found that there are some things the complaining parents are pointing out which are legitimate grievances and we make every attempt to address them before suggesting they move to another pack.

 

Anyway, that's my take on it.

 

Eagle Pete

[Lady_Leigh67]

Thanks, everyone! Good advice and will be passing these along to our Pack Leadership.

 

I hate to say it, but I think these two parents are just complainers. That is just their personality. We just don't want them to bring down the moral of the Pack, etc.

 

Confronting them in a kind way seems like the best and first route to take at this point. Especially since we are so new!

 

Thanks again, guys!

[devaney_scouts]

My husband took over our pack just 2 years ago and I am the comittee chair. He has a very easy way to stop parents like this: He hands them an adult leader form and asks them to fill it out, buy a uniform, attend training and get involved. Most will either put up or shut up. His tactic when they speak about another pack is to say, " Not every pack is for every boy. If your son would be happier in another pack, explore that option. I would rather lose you and your child to another pack than to loose you to scouting completely." We have two packs very close in our town and each has a very different personality. Ours is much more outdoorsy and camps and hikes, the other is more academic. Whenever we are approached by a new family, we tell them to check out both packs before making a decision. You will always have unhappy people, the trick is learning when it is important and when it is just them.

Try to ease the pressure on you and your husband by getting your leaders trained and setting up a comittee. The easiest way to get voluteers is to ask people to do the things they are good at. We also assign our yearly events to different dens for completion. Tigers host the Rocket Day, Wolves host Blue and Gold( an elective to plan and help decorate a party), the Bears host Crossover and the Webelos are in charge of Pinewood Derby. This way all of our parents get a chance to help and year to year there is a learning group and a group that has already done it to use as a resource. Hope this helps, Good Luck.