Immature Adult Leaders

[little dove]

The last troop we were at the SM and CC were married with a son in the troop. If you offened them or went against them (or so they thought), your son would bear the sly punisments they would deal out. Like forget him at a court of honor, lose their partial MB's from summer camp, etc. The main thing I want to bring up is my son was at their house for a troop meeting and waxing of the troop trailer. They have a large pond out back, the boys went out there and the SM's little girl (3 yrs old)followed them onto the dock. Needless to say she fell in and my son was the only one who thought fast enough to pull her out and save her. The CC announced to everyone at the next meeting that she was filling out the paperwork for the Heroism Award because of what my son had done. Time went on and it's been 2 years now and we can not get anyone to help us get the paperwork from her. At the committee meetings I would bring it up everytime, she was so busy and was working on it. We went to our council head, he would see about it, he transfered. We went to the new council head, he said there was nothing he could do, he's moved on. Called National and they said I had to go through my Council. Went to the Charter Rep., he didn't want to make waves. This is just a few of the many things that went on. We left after 3 yrs and started our own troop. The old one was never a boy led troop and everything was decided by the two of them, even if the committee voted otherwise they would do things to make them not happen. That's another discussion. How or what can I do to help my son, he has been very bitter about the whole thing. Is there a procedure that you need to go through or a chain of command? It's not because it's my son, it could be anyone's. Be mad at me, but don't take it out on my child. Thanks for listening.

[eisely]

There is no good answer for this sort of thing. You did what you could. You will have to accept that. Life is full of disappointments. It is too bad that scouting had to deliver a disappointment like this to your son. He should rest easy that he did the right thing. He did save a little girl's life. Somehow I think that the failure of the girl's parents to follow through on this will matter a great deal less on your son's final scoreboard than the action itself. Maybe that thought helps.

[Mike Long]

Get another unit leader to fill out the paperwork and then have them present it to the unit leader to sign. Once signed then send it out yourself.

[little dove]

Thank you for your replies. As far a getting another leader to fill out the paperwork, you need that, the witness's have to fill out their part (they stayed with the old troop), the parents of the little girl to fill out their part(the old SM & CC), the leader and CC (again the old SM & CC). I wish it was easier. My son has taken comfort in that knowing what he did was the right thing and takes pride in that. He knows he doesn't need a piece of paper to tell him that. He's just very disappointed in the actions of the adults involved. He has moved on. He has turned in his Eagle papers and is now an ASM in our troop. I'm so very proud of him.

Thanks again,

little dove

[ASM7]

Sounds like Little Dove's little boy is turning into quite the Young Man! You obviously have brought him up right. This has probably been a great lesson for your son. Proving that some people, while they think they are helping others really only have their own agenda in mind. Your son has been taught to "Be Prepared" and his training paid off. Not many people get the opportunity to save someone's life. He proved that he has what it takes. Not all good acts get recognized, but that does'nt mean they are any less good. He wasn't thinking about a reward or an award when he dove in that water, and I bet he would do it again if given the chance. Keep the faith and thanks to your son and to you.

[ArchWahl]

Not all good deads are rewarded by a meadal. He needs to know this. Sure life is full of dissapointments..but don't expect reward when...according to the scout slogan..good deeds should NOT be done with the expectation of some-sort-of reward. I hate to sound harsh but even if he does'nt get over it...he'll have learned from the experience, and it will help him with his decisions later on, but only if he knows what is expected for him to learn out of it.

 

R.W.

Eagle Scout

ASM

Alpha Phi Omega, Delta 1237

[Chief Decorah]

"A Scout is Helpful"

"A Scout is Brave"

 

"On my Honor, I will do my best... to help other people at all times..."

 

Your son will always know he lived the Scout Oath and Law that day. Congratulations to him for being an outstanding Scout and young man, and congratulations to you for raising him to be one.

[little dove]

Thank you everyone on your time and replies. On another note. WAHOO!!!! My son passed his Eagle board of review!!!! (dancing in the background)

little dove :-)

[EFD709]

I agree with most of the sentiments read here.

 

Your son obviously did the right thing, and for the right reason, at the time it was needed.

 

He is a true scout.

 

While recognition is nice, and helps to set the example for others down the road, it is not imperative. Everyone who was present knows what happened, including the less than responsive CC and SM.

 

Inside your son knows he was a hero, and this is all that really matters.

 

Some thirty years ago I was faced with a similar incident, with an Explorering buddy of mine. We were attached to a volunteer fire department and were specialty trained in lifesaving. We fully expected no recognition, because this is what we were trained to do.

 

When surviving fireman of September 11th were asked about recognition, they almost to a man said that this is what they were paid to do, they would do it again, and would require no special recognition.

 

We all know it takes a special person to step up when needed, and the knowledge that your son did should be gratifying enough. And remember, the little girl will always know as well.