1st tiger den meet of 06

[tydercub]

I'm not sure what I'm in for with the tiger den. My den has 5 boys ( I'm an assistant to the den leader co/leader).The den leader has a young child that causes a lot of commotion and he doesn't seem to be able to manage the den and his children simultaneously. The other parents are all cool and I have known their boys from previous volunteer work I've done.The boys that are mine/ those i've known prior were able to recite the motto, do the pledge and fulfill a planned activity ,however, even though I hosted the meeting at my home and I had a simple craft on hand, our den leader insisted on also doing a craft he had brought W/O informing me prior.This caused our meeting to run long and I was baffled that he was content to let his youngest child wonder about freely getting into toys and wandering in and out of the house. Oh yeah, the meeting was in a rec room.I would prefer not to cause any conflict and don't want to be at all confrontational but does anybody have any advice on dealing with leaders who are somewhat militant but paradoxically choose to let their children behave as if they were at Chucky Cheese's?I've been involved in my child's school since preschool and have helped co-ordinate dozens of parties, fundraisers and even special ed. events for little kids.I am at the school in some capacity filling in for someone at least once a week so I would say I have a reasonable grasp on interacting with 4, 5 and 6 yr olds.I just don't know how to approach an adult leader who wants to lead but is not able to reign in own children.Help, please.

[ScoutNut]

Since this was your first meeting, you do not know if this will be an ongoing problem or was simply a one time deal. Give your den leader the benefit of the doubt.

 

First you need to get together with your den leader & lay out a plan of action for your den. Your 3 other Tiger Teams need to get signed up to lead meetings. After each meeting, the leaders, & the Tiger Team in charge of that meeting, should talk about what went well & what didn't. This will help to improve your meetings & cut down on the surprise activities, but keep in mind that as leaders, you should always have a spare "bag 'o tricks" that you can pull something out of if it is needed.

 

If the meetings are to be at your house, then you are well within your rights to set limits. Let everyone know the house rules for tag-a-longs up front. Maybe you could designate a corner of the rec room for sibs. Have the parents provide toys or an activity for their child. Do any of the Teams have an older child that would be willing to come & watch the tag-a-longs? It might also help if you included them in the opening/closing ceremony, games & songs.

 

Finally, both of you need to take training ASAP. It might even be better if you could take it together. That way you might learn to work together better.

 

[Jeffrey H]

Yes, definitely get basic leader training. New Leader Essentials and Tiger Den Leader Specific. It will help you structure your program and the meet the challenges of your Tiger Den.

 

I agree with ScoutNut. I would like to add that his suggestions could also apply to Wolves, Bears, and even Webelos. In my Bear Den, there are occasional issues regarding younger children. When those issues arise, we try to have a structured activity for them or we just let them join in on the boys activities. We often do the latter because it works out so well and everyone has fun.

 

[ladyleader]

As a former Tiger Den leader with assistants, I know the issues that are challenging. I had 10 Tigers and my one assistant brought her younger boy to meetings. He was only 3 and would constantly disrupt the meeting. We let him do the activities like the "big" boys and he seemed fine. However, MY scout was the challenge. My husband is a Webelos leader and I've heard from other leaders that their own children are the ones that act up all the time. My Tiger sat next to me at the den meeting and would constantly fiddle with my materials. I'd lose focus sometimes with the constant interruption. So I moved him to the other end of the table and he did much better. I agree with other scouters that leader training is the tool you need. The training gives you resources and knowledge to handle issues, programming, etc. You feel much more confident in running the den after you've completed instruction. You may also want to attend a roundtable or two where you can meet other den leaders to discuss issues. Good luck.