Webelos Leaders are terrible

[robbyynn]

Help! ~

 

How should I handle this situation:

 

My son has never been a cub scout before. He joined this year. He is a fourth grader 9 years old until his birthday 04-21-06. He had been so excited to join because his Dad had been a boy scout and they talk about it all the time.

 

Bad comunication has turned worse and bad leadership has put a sour taste in my sons mouth and I don't know what to do about it.

 

The pack campout was a disaster.... this was his first exposure to cub scouts....

 

We were the first ones there... schedule started at 12:00pm we arrived on time... no one else was there. I made a phone call after 15 minutes to his den leader who indicated that the other Web I den leaders should be there shortly. They showed up 15 minutes later. OK.... my son and their son helped the den leaders set up... no organization what so ever. When other cub scouts started ariving I was told to tell them to join the group on the trails..... My husband and myself were tending to the fire (getting it going) and stay going. When all groups returned everyone was sitting around.... when my husband asked about the scheduled activities... he was told they decided just to let the kids have fun!..... MY SON WAS NOT HAVING FUN.... they were playing games like tag, football and such ... but my son didn't know any of the other boys because he was new and no one wanted to include my son (they just didn't know him). So... this left him on the outside wanting to cling to my husband and me. He then informed us that he didn't think he wanted to cub scout next year....that totally broke my heart. He was so excited before... and because the leaders were so un-organized he felt left out. In despare he came to the conclution that this wasn't for him (cub scouts).

 

How should I go about voicing my concerns.... I am more than willing to help.... I just don't want anyone upset or to feel I am critizing them unfairly. Am I being unreasonable or should I put a plan in place to resolve this issue. If this is just a group of un-organized folks .... should I look for another den?

 

Any help or comments are welcome.

[Jeffrey H]

It's good to schedule some organized activities at campouts with some free time along the way. Politely ask the leaders if "sitting around" is normal procedure on all of the campouts. If they answer "yes", then I would start looking for another Webelos Den.

 

You are not being unreasonable. Campouts are a great opportunity to work on outdoor skills, have an organized nature hike, play some group games, etc. They are not difficult to plan and are simple to implement.

 

Are the leaders new? Do they need some help planning? Ask them if you can be an Assistant Webelos Den Leader to help with campout planning. I'm sure they would appreciate it.

 

[ScoutNut]

Was this a Webelos den campout, or was the rest of the Pack there too?

 

Either way, it sounds like bad planning to me. How are the weekly den meetings? Has your son earned his Bobcat or any of his Activity Pins yet? Are the meetings any more organized than the campout? Have you attended a Pack meeting yet? If so, was it fun? Was your son welcomed into the Pack?

 

I would attend the next few den meetings with your son. Just to sit back & observe & see how they do things. It might take the boys a bit to warm up & you could see how your son was fitting in. If the den meetings are as bad as the campout, that could mean trouble. If that is the case, talk to the den leader about your concerns.

 

Not all Packs, or Webelos dens, are created equal. Good friends of mine put their son into our Pack in 4th grade also. Their son did not go to school with any of the boys. They are Lutheran, our Pack is chartered by a Catholic Church. Their son also has some behavioral issues (ADHD +). The dad was not really expecting a positive experience, so he decided to attend with his son. I don't know who had more fun, Dad or son! They are now in our Boy Scout Troop & doing great!

 

If things do not improve quickly (1-2 weeks) look into moving to a new Pack with better Webelos leadership.

 

[SWScouter]

Robbyynn,

 

I'd have a talk with the Webelos Den Leader (WL) and tell him/her more or less what you told us here concerning how your boy feels. How he was excited about being a Webelos Scout and how he didn't have fun and felt excluded at the campout. Ask the WL if he can encourage the den to include your son. Also, a den (not pack but that would be nice too) induction ceremony may really help since it will let your son know he has become a member of the den and let his den mates know that he is a part of their den too. The other den members may have been together since Tigers in first grade and have some history together so it will take a few meetings for all of the den to get to know your son and for him to break into their group. However, with an induction ceremony and some effort by the WL to ensure your son isn't left out, this, I would hope, should occur in a month or two.

 

It would also help for you and your husband to get a good rhapor going with the WL. Let the WL know how you will be able to help the den. Be sure to support the program the WL is giving to the boys; don't try to second guess the WL and complain about any "deficiencies" you may see. If the WL sees you and your husband as supportive, friendly, and helpful, that will go a long way towards the WL ensuring that your son is made a part of the den.

 

The start of Webelos is a great time for a boy to join Cub Scouts. The program changes a lot from Wolf/Bear cubs to Webelos and so not being in the program earlier really shouldn't be a problem. Actually, it may be better since it is all new and Boy Scouts is less than two years away.

 

I wish you and your son the best in scouting.

 

SWScouter

[SemperParatus]

Welcome to the forum.!

 

Sorry your son's first experience in scouting was a disappointing one. While you certainly have legitimate complaints, I can't help but wonder if your husband's tales of his scouting exploits as a youth may have possibly set some high expectations that were all too quickly dashed by an unorganized and 'not fun' camping trip. I think it is great that you and your husband have been prepping him for the scouting life, but sometimes our memories can embellish just how wonderful some of those camping experiences really were.

 

Nevertheless, you do have cause for concern.

 

"when my husband asked about the scheduled activities... he was told they decided just to let the kids have fun!"

 

This is the biggest one in my mind. Some kind of planned activity is essential on camping trips, especially when the scouts are young and need to be most engaged. Someone either was too lazy or dropped the ball. A weekend of hanging out is not what Webelos need. The Webelos leader should be working to prepare them for boy scouting and that requires the boys being involved in some of the trip planning, setting up in an orderly fashion, being engaged in some skill development, and working as a team. Sitting around doing nothing, or playing football all weekend, is not scouting.

 

"but my son didn't know any of the other boys because he was new and no one wanted to include my son (they just didn't know him). So... this left him on the outside wanting to cling to my husband and me"

 

If this was one of your son's first activities with the den, then the Webelos Leader should have made significant efforts to ensure that your scout was made to feel welcome and included. Planned activities would certainly have helped in this respect as well. Your son showed up as an outsider and left as an outsider. A concerned leader would have recognized that your scout was not participating and would have taken steps to encourage the other scouts to accept him in their games.

 

"He then informed us that he didn't think he wanted to cub scout next year....that totally broke my heart."

 

It breaks my heart just hearing your story. But, this is a good time to teach him a lesson in persistence. Both you and your husband sound like strong scouting proponents and know that something was off here. You know it can be better and will be better as he become more comfortable with the other boys and his expectations (and as you become more involved in making sure his experience is better).

 

"How should I go about voicing my concerns.... I am more than willing to help.... I just don't want anyone upset or to feel I am critizing them unfairly. Am I being unreasonable or should I put a plan in place to resolve this issue. If this is just a group of un-organized folks .... should I look for another den?"

 

I think you first need to figure out if this trip was an aberration or not. Attending the next few den meetings will certainly help you to see if the Webelos leaders are engaging these boys and following the scouting program. It should not take long (2-3 meetings should do it) to determine whether the bad experience is likely to continue or was just a fluke.

 

Definitely put a plan in place to resolve the issue.

 

1. Speak with your son. Assure him that scouting will be better than that. Encourage him to give it some time.

 

2. Speak with the Webelos Leader and offer your (or your husband's) assistance as an assistant leader (where you can help plan engaging meetings and activities).

 

3. Maybe offer to head up an upcoming den/pack event so you can make it special enough that your son (and all of the other boys) will say, "wow...scouting is cool".

 

4. Don't be afraid to check out other dens and packs. There is a wide spectrum of how the scouting program is implemented. You want to make sure your son is given the best opportunity to be engaged in an active and fun environment that will help him to grow and find friendships.

 

Best of luck to you, your husband and, most importantly, your boy.

 

 

 

[robbyynn]

Thank you to everyone who has responded! I have been blessed to have found this forum to get some help from. The ideas that you have given to me are great and very helpful. I will be attending his next few weeks of meetings. I think all of you are right that this will give me a better overall feeling of how things are run in this pack.

 

Thank you again for all the helpfull advice!

[Cubmaster Randy]

 

In BALOO training, we teach about having organized activites. You need some free time to let the boys be boys, but at this age they also need structure.

Agreed that this was probably not the best planning or use of time

If this was a webelos only activity then this would have been an excellant time to work on outdoor skills, maybe earn the outdoorsman activity pin or earn some belt loops. Even if it was an pack activity, they could have knocked off some requirments. It is all a game with a Purpose

We had a similar experience a couple of years ago. Our pack had recently lost its activity chair and nobody wanted to step up or even run any activites at the campout. So it fell on me. I provided some basic activites but agreeably not as detailed as I would have liked it to be.

At the end of the campout we did a roses and thorns after the scouts own on Sunday moring. The boys enjoyed the campout, but expressed an opinion that they would like more orgainized activites to do. The parents heard the message and since then I have several parents step up to offer their services. (Vacummns do fill themselves if one allows them too.)

 

I've also found sometimes i need to walk over and ask if a new scout can be included in the games. Kids are kids and sometimes will not think to ask if someone wants to join them.

 

Also, It is so easy to judge other people, but remember these parents are volunteers, maybe your husband, with his boy scout experience can offer some of his services to help out; Remember The World (Pack, den etc. insert correct noun) is run by those who show up.

[eghiglie]

When my son was a Wolf (2003) my son and I went through something like this, every den meeting was just a craft and at campouts all that was organized was fishing and a water pistol fight.

 

So I read the Wolf book to see what we could do and was amazed at the things. So to one den meeting I brought some rope to tie some knots and most of the boys had a blast. We also did a lot of things on our own as the DL would cancel a lot of den meetings. We wound up switching dens in the Bear year.

 

This year, being a WDL I have some den activity for each meeting planned. Be it a campout, den meeting or pack picnic.

 

The kids really want to learn knots, camping skills, compass and all the cool stuff schools don't teach anymore. They also want an orderly meeting.

 

In the Webelos book there are 3 activity badges that are GREAT for the outdoors, Forester, Outdoorsman and Naturlist.

 

So pick one of the badges and learn it (when your son isn't around) and then offer to do it at the next meeting or outing. Your kid will be amazed at what you know.

 

The real thing to consider here is that Webelos is getting them ready for a Troop, which is boy run. The 21 months of Webelos should be teaching the boys how to get organized. With the lack of planning you mentioned those boys will have a hard time at a troop.

 

Our den just finished learning how to put up a tent. The boys did it on there own, adults could not help, they were allowed to ask questions. They made a few mistakes, fixed them and got it done. I would've slept in the tent.

 

Never mind the safety aspect also. Just running around in the woods can get them hurt. Tripping over tree roots, twisting ankles in gopher holes, getting stung by insects and so forth.

[Eagledad]

I'm of a little different mind here. No matter how good or how organized a pack can be, there is always a parent or two around who would do it better. You guys had a vision of what should have happened and I'm not sure that any pack could have lived up to that expectation. I'm not defending the pack program, but just suggesting that you give this pack a chance for a couple months to learn how they really work. You could be just the adults they need, or it could be that they really do know their stuff and just didn't put a lot into this one outting.

 

Watch this pack a little while and then ask to help out. Maybe your family is the one piece that pack needs to complete their puzzle. Maybe there is a method to thier maddness, who knows. Hang out long enough to find out.

 

Welcome to the forum and to scouting. I really look forward to reading more of you post. Scouting is and should be a wonderful experience.

 

Barry

[Beavah]

I'd suggest another possibility, eh?

 

It can be hard to break into a pre-existing group. And a few "bad times" can turn a boy off, eh? Consider also just doin' a bunch of family campin', and skippin' Cub Scouts altogether. Have your son join Boy Scouts when he's ready, in an active troop. Da program will be more exciting, many of the boys will be new to each other, and they'll all be "new" to the situation. With some family campin' under his belt, he'll be better prepared than many of his Cub Scout peers.

 

Boy Scoutin' is a lot different than cub scoutin'. Most boys like it much better.

 

 

[mmhardy]

Amen to Beavah...better yet see if there is a local Boy Scout Troop that you can check out now. Your Comissioner may suggest a local troop or two that may offer a campout with the Webelos. Our troop does that and they are a riot!!

 

The older Scouts teach one or two items to get the W2s toward their arrow of light.

 

Lastly it looks like your an involved parent. You may want to get some training yourself and get psyched up to assist in your new troop.

[Eagledad]

>>Consider also just doin' a bunch of family campin', and skippin' Cub Scouts altogether. Have your son join Boy Scouts when he's ready, in an active troop.

[SR540Beaver]

robbyynn,

 

I didn't see you respond to a question asked earlier, but I might have missed it. The question was whether or not this was a den or pack campout. Either way, it sounds like there was poor planning. I don't know about your council, but our council usually has camping opportunities at the cub level each fall. This usually happens during each weekend of the month of October at two of our camp properties. One is a one nighter with cubs coming in Friday evening and leaving mid-day Saturday. Then a second group comes in Saturday evening and leaving mid-day on Sunday. The other camp property holds two nighters. The nice thing about these cub camps is that they have designed programs to keep the boys pretty busy thru most of the day with a campfire program at night. We also provide day camp and half week resident camps in the summer. Cubs can get plenty of camping experience in and not just be left to their own devices. Idle hands are the devil's workshop. You might check to see if your council or district have any programmed camping opportunities for the fall and urge the whole pack to take adavantage. Even if they don't, you should be able to attend as a family.