Difficult Parent/Arrow of Light

[treasurermom]

I just wanted to follow up with how this story ended. We (the committee) never discussed this issue outside the committee. However, the mom involved apparently broadcast it all over about how unfair our rules were. I received an email from another parent in the pack who offered to pay this boy's dues anonymously so that she could make sure he could participate in AOL.

 

We decided to accept the offer and received the dues for the boy. I emailed his mom and told her the situation and that since he was paid up there was no further need for discussion on the subject. I also said I was sworn to secrecy so I would not reveal the name of the donor. I have not heard from the mom since and obviously no one outside the committee will ever know where the money came from.

 

Alls well that ends well. Once we have AOL we won't have to deal with this woman again. She has already chosen a troop for her son and since we have a choice of troops that factor is weighing in on the decision of where my son will be going.

[Lisabob]

treasurermom, thanks for the update. Please don't let the choice of troops be driven too much by where this woman ends up - chances are good they'll end up dropping out anyway.

 

Lisa'bob

A good old bobwhite too!

[Cubmaster Randy]

Regarding dues for Webelos II, Our Pack Committee has been thinking about this recently. We have a January recharter, but do most of our recruiting in August. So we have two calender years (a school and a fiscal) . We have three if you count the web 2's crossing over in March. We have yearly dues of $65 which is supplemented by popcorn sales.Part of the the popcorn sales are credited to the scouts account for a big trip.

We have started looking at where the award money goes and to which ranks. Historically the Tigers, who pay the same $65 as everyone for the school year August-August do not get the same amount of awards. They are busy earning their beads to earn their tiger badges. We tend to spend more on the pins and badges forthe wolf/bear and especially the Webelos who are being awarded activity badges and have (re)discovered belt loops they might not have earned before, but now need to earn for their badges. Also we have found that our Webelos 2 tend not to sell as much popcorn as the younger scouts. So at the end of the day, i suspect that everything will even out in the long run

[nldscout]

First off, all of you that are questioning the commitee's decision not to prorate dues are dead WRONG! The committee thought this through and made a clear decision, thats thier option and not ours to question or denigrate them. The other 17 W2's paid, so why should this family be different.

 

Treasuremom,

I think you did a bad thing by taking the moiney from another parent, you should have held your ground and not done it. Now in the future she will asssume that if she throws a fit she can get things her way. I suspect someone in the troop they will be joining will suffer in the future for this.

 

 

[Cubmaster Jerry]

With the info here, if I were a parent in this Pack I would have some real problems as well. Things for you to think about:

 

1. Same question as ScoutNut had, What do you charge for new scouts in Sep? If you charge anything, the math doesn't add up at all (with the info I read).

 

2. "Not about the money." No, it seems it is more about the mother. Registration is $10. As others noted, it seems you are preventing this boy from getting his AOL because of his mother. There is no need for you to collect anything more than the $10 as he isn't participating beyond Jan anyway. He's done. except for the AOL ceremony.

 

The decision to not prorate is the committee's and one that has to be abided by. But as treasurer, you can surely see the problem that causes. What reason is given for not wanting to do it? Inability to divide properly?

 

CM Jerry

[treasurermom]

Cubmaster Jerry -

 

If you treat people in your pack the way you treated me on this forum then I feel sorry for the members of your pack. You were incredibly rude and you owe me an apology. I certainly never made this issue personal and neither should you.

 

Believe me, I can divide properly. So can the rest of the committee, several of whom are the parents of Webelos II and were affected by the decision. We do prorate for the new boys that start in September (they only pay that year's dues from September to December and then pay for the next year when we recharter). I know it sounds contradictory, but the committee decided that all boys should pay for the entire year if they are members at the beginning of the recharter year. No one else had a problem except this particular woman. I saw both sides of the issue. But it wasn't my decision alone and the committe made a decision. Money is an issue for us this year - our school district is charging us $600 per year just to use the school two nights per month for meetings.

 

We never made this all about the mom - she's the one who decided to hurt her son by making an issue out of the dues. This is the same mom who has her son in his THIRD den in five years because she could not get along with adults. To her it was never about her kid - it was always about her and her problems.

 

One member described her as a bully and that is the perfect description. She is already causing trouble at the troop level. She claims the scouts at one of the troop visits harrassed and picked on her son and is spreading this around at the other troops they visit. However, none of the other boys who were there, including my son, saw or heard anything. Maybe you would like to have this woman in your pack, Cubmaster Jerry!

[Cubmaster Jerry]

Well, I am not sure I do owe you an apology as no harm was meant. But I was certainly misunderstood - my fault. My 'divide properly' comment wasn't a slap in your or your committe's face. It was merely a (apparently) weak attempt at a reason for not wanting to prorate dues - something that both you and I feel would be beneficial and easy to implement. However, you never mentioned that your Pack did prorate even for new scouts. So to charge full fees for them (which was assumed based on the info you provided) and then charge full fees for W2 just before they graduate just didn't add up.

 

Additionally, I find it difficult to understand (if I do correctly) that your Pack charges the full $75 fee to be paid by all W2 in December for a mere 3 or 4 months of program. Don't YOU as a parent find that difficult to swallow? I can certainly respect any decision that a committee makes as I am sure very few are made without extended discussions and reasonings. But, again, what is the reason for your Pack not prorating W2 fees? If it is simply to support the school use fees and other financial obligations that the Pack has then that is not fair to those W2s who aren't getting their money's worth, so to speak.

 

My Pack is in the same fiscal situation that yours is in. And we do the same thing that you do - prorate for new scouts and charge full fees in Feb (our recharter is 1 Mar). However, because of the timing, we don't charge W2s anything at all after they recharter during their W1 year. Our W2s graduate at B&G and, with the fee payment during their W1 year, are essentially paid up through graduation. With 130 sets of parents, you can bet that we would have more than our share of irate parents if we wished to charge full rate for a partial year.

 

We do have a number of 'problem' parents. One boy is on his third den THIS YEAR due to 'conflicts'. I had to split another den this past September because a parent was overbearing and causing friction with the leader. Her son and two others were buddies so I couldn't just move him alone. She is now a leader of her own den. I have another den leader that continually blames other leaders for her issues with scheduling, activity locations, etc. And on, and on.

 

From my reading of your posts, it did seem to be about this parent. You mention in your first post that "This is not a matter of money or we would offer a scholarship - she is just a difficult parent.", in your 2nd post "...she is really difficult to work with." It's really the mom that has problems." and 3rd post "Once we have AOL we won't have to deal with this woman again." Apparently no other W2 parent had ever openly defied paying your Pack's full fee rate for a quarter of a program year. Because she is a legitimate problem parent, when she finally presented a legitimate complaint, I am sure the "Here we go again" comments were heard at committee meeting and her issue probably wasn't really considered.

 

Since timing of your recharter and graduation isn't in sync, why not just have the Pack pay the $10 to recharter to get W2s through to graduation? If the dues are averaged accurately, then the additional program benefit that a W2 may get for those few months would have already been paid through their previous fee payments.

 

Jerry

[Cubmaster Jerry]

On second thought I will apologize. I just want to make sure I don't sound like a jerk. Because I don't mean to be.

 

Jerry

[FScouter]

I find that decisions made by a person or group with authority are easier to carry out or abide by when the rationale is understood. If the reasoning is not obvious or not shared, one is left to speculate.