Den Issue

[ConnCM]

Hello....I'm new to Scouter Forums & came here for some honest opinions.

 

I am the soon-to-be Cubmaster.

 

My own sons den has dual leaders. They are lovely caring mothers. However a trend has developed slowly since they were a Tiger den. Now they are a Wolf den. Today was their last Den meeting of this season. Left over den "snack money" was spent on toys for the boys.

 

Now the trend appears.

 

Two boys received "cooler" toys than the other members of the den. I needn't point out which boys.

 

In this leaders mind, each toy should have been identical or nearly so.

 

I plan to seek additonal leadership before addressing the subject. Scouting is no place for such an obvious display of favoritism.

 

I'm just not sure how to approach a subject such as this without causing at least as much damage as has already been done today.

 

Thanks in advance.

[Greg Nelson]

Yeah, the moms were out of line here.

 

However, consider this: if these moms are anything like me or the other den leaders in my pack, they end up spending lots (like $50-$100 or more) of their own money on den stuff over the course of the year. Also, they are taking away time from their own sons to devote to other kids' sons.

 

So maybe they justify it in their minds this way- I'm giving time and money to the den, and this is a way the den can repay it to my son.

 

I note that you're about to take over as Cubmaster for your pack. So am I. I'm sure we'll both learn that it isn't a simple thing to treat our sons fairly - neither favoring them, nor being harder on them.

 

As a leader, you have to choose your battles carefully. If they are doing a good job as den mothers, I'd let this slide for now. Next spring, you could strongly suggest that the extra money be used for an outing or other activity that would benefit all boys equally.

[SeattlePioneer]

It may be that the moms have already been educated on this point by the other Cub Scouts.

 

I tend to agree that this isn't a problem in which you need to intervene. People are going to make mistakes often enough, and unless it's a serious or chronic problem, they'll tend to discover and correct those mistakes over time.

 

The basic question for the Cubmaster is, "Did I choose the best people for this Den Leader job, and do they have the wisdom and training to be able to do a good job?"

 

 

 

Seattle Pioneer

[SemperParatus]

Welcome to the forum and good luck as cubmaster...it was the funnest scouting role I ever played.

 

I guess I am a little confused as to why there is any left-over snack money. Snacks are pretty inexpensive and easily budgeted from week to week. I can't understand how there could be an accumulation of funds here, unless snack money was being collected and no snacks were being bought.

 

Favortism is never a fun thing to see and experience. It is an unfortunate part of our humanity. I agree that shining a bright light upon it and criticizing the den leaders in this instance would not be appropriate. However, maybe a suggestion to the leaders that perhaps unspent funds could be returned to the scouts in the form of practical scouting gear (the next rank's handbooks, hat, slide, knife, etc.) could ease the way for uniform gifting.

 

Have fun!

[Prairie_Scouter]

They've probably already heard about their error through their Scouts. When giving gifts like this, the safest thing is to give everybody the same thing. If they want to give their own kids something special, they might consider getting that separately, and giving it to them separately. This is really not a big deal, tho, and unless you hear that they were playing favorites throughout the year, I wouldn't bother with it much.

[SWScouter]

I really don't know why they would be giving gifts like that to the boys. First, any extra funds can certainly be used the following year. If they need to use the money, they could have given the boys their Wolf book or neckerchief or helped fund summer camp.

 

For the den I work with, we collect $5 per month in dues for nine months. We rotate snacks between the parents, snacks don't affect the den budget. The boys had $45 dollars in dues yet they are getting $75 from the den for the summer camp. The boys made money here. Next year is their last year as cub scouts. We will need to use all the money up. I don't see that as a problem, extra money can go towards a pizza party or to buy the Boy Scout handbook and maybe a gift for the pack or the chartering organization.

 

SWScouter

[ScoutNut]

If there was enough money left over to buy toys for every boy from a toy store (instead of cheapie $1 store), than there must have been a significant amount.

 

I would not confront the Den Leaders about the differences in the toys. A better approach would be to talk to your CC (since the CC is responsible for the business end of things) about ways to use leftover Den dues.

 

The CC could then discuss the subject with all Den Leaders at your next Committee meeting. One suggestion might be that left over Den monies be carried over to the next year so that Leaders do not have to wait for Den dues to come in, or use their own money.

 

This approach would take the issue from a personal one for you to a business one for the Pack.

 

[ConnCM]

Thanks everyone for the good ideas. Scouting related items would have been more appropriate. A policy to structure disbursement of leftover funds is good too.

 

Throughout the year the boys have noted a "bias" of sorts. So have I. Little things like prefered sunglasses for a Blue & Gold skit. First in line at every event. Front of the den in all photo-ops.

 

Eight year olds are much more attuned to these things than we give them credit for sometimes. When parents notice & make comments, then the issue is on the verge of becoming a problem.

 

Thanks again.