Den Leader Problem

[eaglewings2002]

Hello,

 

I have a question for all you wise people.

 

We had a Wolf leader who has not really done much this year. Then he missed about 5 weeks in a row, either without notice or by calling 5 minutes before meeting time. The parents would find a message on the machine when they got home after trying to go to the meeting.

 

Supposedly the CM spoke with the leader (the assistant dropped out early in the year because of personal problems with this guy; we did not know that till this happened). The DL said he was too busy travelling for his work. CM told him there was a parent ready to step in and be leader. I understood that he agreed to this.

 

The mom did step in, getting her uniform, planning awesome meetings that are attracting the boys back, even changing the meeting time to a more convenient time for all. CM and I (I am CC) thought it was going well.

 

New DL called me today and said old DL called her husband ranting (his words) about new DL "trying to take over". Well, I thought she WAS taking over! Her husband said didn't CM talk to you? ODL denied the CM even talked to him about it at all!!! (keep in mind ODL has gone to over a month of meetings NDL planned, even the new time, without comment)

 

I do plan to speak to CM (he retired last month) to hear his story. I am new as CC and have not even been trained yet, and we are without a CM. I know I can go to my DE about it. I just wanted to hear your thoughts about this. NDL is very upset, she was just trying to help the den (everyone was dropping out). I hope they can work together (she does not mind) but frankly this guy is striking me as a bit of a loon. Any ideas for how to handle this?

 

I have read such great advice from all you experienced Cubbers. Thanks for spending your time here to teach the rest of us!

[Twocubdad]

Don't bother calling the old DL, it doesn't matter. The ODL has been replaced, and it's time to dig in your heels. "I'm sorry if we weren't clear, but NDL has taken over the den and is doing a great job. And by the way, if you have any further questions, I'm the committee chair so please ask me and not NDL."

 

Sounds like this guy was flying the den into the ground and needed to go. You guys made the right call -- don't go back now.

 

 

[eaglewings2002]

Thanks, Twocubdad. Turns out there is more to the story. I talked to CM tonight. He told me he did NOT speak to the ODL but told the den parents to do so. Apparently they did not. ODL showed up at a den meeting and found the NDL fully uniformed and ready to go (he had not had a meeting in 3 weeks!). SHE thought CM had taken care of it - she was not there when CM told them to do it. A big misunderstanding. But the fact is he WAS running them into the ground and needed to be replaced, sounds like just could have been done better. If anyone can think of any ideas now with this new info, I am all ears. I don't know if there is anything more to do. parents have told CM (who is happy to be out of this!!) that they will quit if ODL comes back. I don't know if the adults can work together! CM has talked to the ODL and he says he inderstands and it is OK then he calls up NDL's husband and complains to him. I hope this is not a sign of things I will have to deal with often!!

 

Do the adults always act like bigger brats than the boys???

[HawaiiMom]

just a thought... you might want to talk to the Unit Commissioner about the ODL. Although it's good to think that the ODL will just let it slide.. you don't want a scene in front of the boys.. and children sense tension that adults think they are covering...

 

the UC might be able to speak with the ODL and explain things from a third person standpoint. The UC is there to assist the den but is not seen as being involved in 'politics' and might be a good choice to set things straight.

 

Raye

[evmori]

Don't ya wish you could just take people like the ODL outside & beat them with a stick!

[fotoscout]

Someone needs to explain to the ODL that actions speak louder than words. He had an obligation and failed to meet that obligation. He loses! The parents and the committee no longer have faith in his ability to bring the program to the boys.He can redeem himself by supporting the new DL.

 

Since he likes to talk so much, he should have no trouble understanding this plain talk.

 

[Hunt]

I agree that there should be no turning back, but I do think ODL deserves an apology for not being told by the CM. If you start with the apology, the firm decision to retain NDL might go down a little easier.

[ScoutNut]

I agree an apology is in order. Your CM handled the whole thing badly. I would also contact your Charter Organization

[ScoutNut]

OK What's with chopped off posts???

 

As I was saying:

 

I would also contact your Charter Organization Representative. Since he is technically the one who has the power to "hire" & "fire" leaders he should go with you when you have a face to face talk with ODL. It is a done deal and hopefully the den will benefit, but don't compound the problem by assuming someone else will talk to OLD about this.

[EagleInKY]

I would apologize to the ODL regarding how it was handled, but not that it was handled. The ODL did not have the time to commit what was required for the den to be successful. Talk to him about other leadership opportunities that would best fit his availability.

 

And, yes, get your COR involved.