kassie428 Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 I've got a problem in my 1st year Webelos den, I have 6 boys in my den, 3 of them are very polite and do what is asked of them, occassionally they get a little rowdy. The problem is the other 3 one is ADHD and his medication usually wears off about time the meeting starts so I can understand his behavior a little better he's not real bad just rowdy and has to be reminded to settle down. The other 2 will not listen, will not pay attention and are a constant distraction. I have tried telling them that if I have to ask them to settle down more than twice they will be sent home but it doesn't work. I've also tried playing games and physical activity at the beginning of the meeting hoping to tire them out. I might add that the parents ot the 2 worst boys stay during our meetings and they see no problem with the way their little darlings act. Any one have any ideas on what to try? Even treat boxes don't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SR540Beaver Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 I was taught early on in life that if you are going to make a "threat", you had better be ready to carry it out. Once you tell someone what you will do and then don't do it, they figure they've got your number. It's a bluff and nothing more. If you tell them you will send them home after the second warning.....send them home! Ask the parent to step out of the room with you and tell them that you are the leader and you must maintain control and their child is continually being disruptive. Tell them that they can either sit at the table with their child and control them or they can take them home. Are you involving these parents in the meetings? Do you have an assistant den leader? A boy scout den chief? Are you doing it all alone with parents just sitting around? Enlist someone to ride herd on the boys while you try to lead the meeting. I can sympathize with you. My son is a Webelos 1 and there are 13 boys in his den. For some reason the CubMaster and Den Leader do not want to split the boys up into two dens. They can get extremely rowdy at times. I'm a pretty patient and easy going guy, but it got to the point that it unnerved me and I'd have to step out into the hallway to regain my bearings......and I was only there sitting around. I have not signed up yet, but I do stay in the room and now try to help keep them settled down and focused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acco40 Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 Some boys behave better when their parents ARE NOT present. Some act better when they are. If you have not had a chance to have a den activity with their parents not present, you may want to give that a shot. As a den leader, I welcomed all parents to stay. However, I requested that any parent who stayed help out. If they were not willing to help out I politely escorted them to the door. Casual observers usually chit-chatted with other parents and they were as disruptive as the boys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SagerScout Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 The games and physical activity at the first of the meeting may actually be working against you as many kids that age have trouble settling back down. Their slow-down switches are disconnected. I suggest you re-structure the meeting in this way: Make sure the body of the meeting allows a reasonable level of motion. This means boys change their positions in some way every 10 minutes, 15 at the outside. In other words, stand at attention for flag, of course, then on one foot for announcements, then sit down for craft activities, then allow them to work standing or sitting or crosslegged on the floor for knots.. and so on. Then put the rowdy games at the END of the meeting and make sure they know they will be happening then - assuming you get finished with what you need to do. Put up a poster listing the checkpoints of the things that need to get finished before game time and visibly check them off as you go. Don't forget clean-up comes BEFORE games. You can put estimated times by the activities if there's a visible clock in your meeting place. The boys will then police each other since everyone will want to make sure they get to play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kassie428 Posted February 25, 2003 Author Share Posted February 25, 2003 Thanks for the ideas I will definately give it a try as for the parents who stay, one knows how to do everything but when asked for help refuses and says she's just there to watch, the other parent is a Wolf leader and is having her wolf den meeting at the same time, but everyone else is causing the problems with her son, not him. I really can't send him home as she is in her den meeting but I did put him in the cornor by himself for a while. As for a den chief, none of the boyscouts in our troop wanted the job, I've asked about 3-4 times. I do have an assistant den leader but she has been out the last three meetings with family problems. Our second year Webelos have just crossed over so I'm hoping that I can get our Cubmaster to help out and give me some ideas of what I meed to do (he was the 2nd year Webelos leader). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sctmom Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Are there certain times they misbehave more than others? What is your room layout? Is everyone circled around a table or lined up like school? I saw a couple of den leaders that would sit behind a table and the boys sat in rows of chairs. TOO much like school! I heard that during the Bear year these leaders had the boys holding their books during the whole meeting. The parent who checked books could not do that very well because "the boys need their books right now". My Bears very seldom need the book during the meeting. Webelos do need their books at times but not all the time. I try to be on the boy's level -- sitting in a circle with them or on the floor with them. Some boys do better working on crafts by standing. Can you include these boys as "helpers" during the meeting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkie Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Do you have a Pack Code of Conduct? When i became Cubmaster of our pack, this was one of the first things my com. chmn. and i did. One of the hardest things i have to do (i think) is to reprimand a scout with the parent standing right there. However, this also lets the parent know what is acceptable and what isn't (I had a boy standing on a coffee table in my house one time!). When i became involved in scouts, i never dreamt i would have to be teaching adults what was appropriate, and what was not. Sparkie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kassie428 Posted February 27, 2003 Author Share Posted February 27, 2003 We do have a den code of conduct the boys came up with and agreed to follow. The building we use is our Troops scout building usually the boys are gathered around the table when we are discussing the requirements then they spred out to work on the activities. The problem seems to be when its time to work on serious items they just want to keep goofing off. Example we were working on the requirements for Citizen and discussing the names of the President etc,. the boys I'm having the problem with were shouting out answers that had nothing to do with the topic and when they were asked to settle down basically said they didn't have to. I asked one of the boy's mother to take him home as he obviously didn't want to be there but his mother said that he was going to stay and that his behavior would improve. Usually the meeting goes as follows: pledge, discussion of activity pin requirements, craft or work on oath and law, work on badge requirments, game(if we have time) then snack and announcements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob White Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 I have some suggestions Kassie and a couple questions. First questions are... What training have you attended for Webelos leadership? How long are your meetings? This will help with the suggestions. Bob(This message has been edited by Bob White) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kassie428 Posted February 27, 2003 Author Share Posted February 27, 2003 Bob I've been a den leader for 2 years, last year I was the Bear Leader and this year the Cubmaster decided to split the Webelos into two groups, so basically I've got the same boys I had last year with the exception of 1 new one. As far as training I've been to leader basic training last year, I've been to a couple of roundtables but its mostly boy scout stuff. My council has Baloo leader training in April that I will attend. I started out with meetings only an hour a week but that didn't seem to give us enough time so now we meet for an hour and a half once a week. I've taken away the treat box we had because of their behavior hoping that will curb the problem. Also before our next meeting I'm going to have a talk with the parents about the problem and see if they can help change their behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CubsRgr8 Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 I asked one of the boy's mother to take him home as he obviously didn't want to be there but his mother said that he was going to stay and that his behavior would improve. Say what? That mother completely undermined your authority as den leader, whether or not his behavior improved. Would she dare say that to her son's teacher? soccer coach? I think not. This boy apparently does not understand what he says when he recites the Law of the Pack. Frankly, I would not let that boy back into your den meetings until you, the cubmaster and the family have a discussion. Am I acting like an old curmugeon? Yep, and proud of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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