Plain old Apathy

[scouts4me]

I am involved with our local scout pack. I have no boys in anymore, they are in boy scouts. I am having trouble handing the reins over, no one will take them. You've heard it before, I'm sure, plain old apathy. How do I get these people to understand that it's THEIR boys not mine they are unwilling to lead. After an hour and a half meeting I did finally get all of the positions needed filled. Trouble is, a den leader quit. No one will step forward to fill his shoes. Naturally I have been doing it. The boys are great kids. In fact I think at the last meeting they did a butter up job. LOL They were all saying "gee, thanks for doing all of this with us, that was really nice, you did SO much". Really laying it on. But it was genuine, I know it was. Even the parents were impressed. Hey that's what happens when you are organized for your meetings. Ultimately, I can't continue to do it, though. I have boys one night and girl scouts the following night. I also have various other meetings throughout the week. More importantly I have a life and kids. The committee meetings are all stare at each other waiting for guidance. I definitely need help in this area. Generally I am the one offering advice, however, I am truly stumped this time.

 

Can you give it?

[eisely]

One of the most difficult words for dedicated volunteers to get out of their mouths is "no." Funny that we have no problem saying no to our own kids, but when it comes to our own lives we have difficulty with it. By staying on until all the positions are filled you are inadverdently enabling the other parents to get a free ride. There comes a time when one has to move on. I suggest that you notify your unit commissioner, chartered organization representative, committee chair, and possibly the district executive of your intention to resign from all positions in the pack on a date certain, and stick to that commitment. Either the parents in the pack value the program or they do not. It would be unfortunate if the program floundered, or worst case, the pack dissolved because you stepped out, but that is not your problem. You want to move on and you have a right to do that. For your own sake and the health of the program do what you want to do. It is always hard to find replacements for key leaders, but every time I have been involved in this kind of transition, someone did step forward.

[Mike Long]

Eisely is absolutely right, you need to inform everyone of your intentions and keep a FIRM date as to your departure from the pack.

 

Our brother Cub Pack is going through this right now. The Cubmaster has two boys, one who has been in our troop for a while and his youngest who will cross over this February. He has been asking for a year for someone to step forward and take the position. No one would do so (out of 74 families!) So he told them that he will step down formally at the Blue and Gold Banquet in February when his youngest crossed over. At every meeting he let them know that they still needed a Cubmaster. As of right now three people said they would share the position (I guess that's better than no one)

 

The only thing that I can add is that our Cubmaster will become the Assistant Scoutmaster in charge of working with new Scouts, and will be our liasion between our Troop and Pack. At least that way he can be available to answer questions and to help out the new Cubmaster with the transition (at least until they get a handle on their new job) The added bonus is that the new Scouts have an Adult that they feel comfortable with. Perhaps you could fill a similar function in your son's Troop.

 

The hardest part of Scouting is moving on, go enjoy your boys time as Boy Scouts; their time will not come again, don't get cheated out of it.

 

 

[jbroganjr]

This recently happened in our district. A CM left, no one would take his place. the previously CM stepped in temparily. Again, no one would take the job. The district stepped in (Contact your districts Commissioner and Unit Commissioner). You might not have a unit commissioner, but every district has a DC.

Our DC & Dist. Executive went to the next pack night, and after their talk, got two co leader CM. Sometimes it starts out that way, with two, but normally within the year, One individual becomes the lead dog.

I hope this helps along with the other good advice posted above

JBroganJr.

CM, ASM and CRTC

[eisely]

One further suggestion. We found that den leadership at the Webelos level is something that can be effectively shared. When no parent was able or willing to assume full responsibility for den leadership, we met as a group of parents and planned a year program around the activity badges. Each set of parents assumed responsibility for a month's program. With a nine month school year this worked out quite effectively. We still had to have a designated leader and that person agreed to attend Pack committee meetings and Roundtables. But that person did not assume the full obligation for all meetings for the entire cub year. This requires a cohesive group of parents who are willing and able to work with one another, but I think our Webelos program was stronger for it.

[scouts4me]

Yes, it's been some time since any reply, I know. I've been too busy. At any rate; ~ It is, as mentioned at times, too hard to say no and I get into that rut. I guess folks know that. Our pack has no troop to look forward to joining. There are also things like paper people in various places. I have fixed that at the pack level. However, helping them to understand their roles is a little difficult but I'm working on it. The Charter Rep. is basically a non-functioning role. The organization really wants no part in the pack despite repeated requests for help and trying to explain their role in the grand scheme of things. So I guess they are not an option. I have mentioned it at district level and they have other things to think about. I did however, have a telephone call from one of the kids parents. She is interested in helping. So I believe that's a start. I also had another phone call from another parent. He is pulling his son because the den is a combo Wolf/Bear den and there are no other Bears. He feels his son needs to interact with kids his own age. He's moving the boy to another pack with more boys. The parent is a key leader in the pack. The pack is suffering from a lack of boys. The parent had left a message on my machine. Now I guess I need to return the call and say that I will miss the boy (true) and ask if the parent is willing to stay and help the pack overcome the challenges it has. Some of those challenges are; very small numbers and hesitant leaders. I confess I has thought that rather than jumping ship, I had hoped these folks would pull tight and help the pack overcome its problems. Any suggestions there?

[KL Wisconsin]

You say the pack is very small and has no troop to feed into. Perhaps it would be appropriate to suggest the pack combine with another, larger pack with a better leader base and a charter organization that is willing to assume a positive function. If the parent who is willing to participate and believes in the scouting program for his son sees that his child's scouting experience would be improved by joining another pack, maybe that is what is needed for all the boys. You don't say who your charter organization is whether it is a grade school or church or what, but it may be time to make some radical changes.

[3forme]

If you are still doing it at the end of the year(school year)

Let them know you will not be back next year and they will need to find someone else.

That's what happened to our pack and in September a new family who had moved to town joined our pack at round up and the mom who had an older son in scouts took it over . And it is working great. We were probably very lucky.