OldGreyEagle Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Ok, I have taken a beating lately being accused of having no sense of humor, being the type of guy who would denounce Jesus if he cured on the Sabbath and a few other comments pretty much implying I wouldnt know funny if it bit me on the butt, "And do you know what I say? Ha ha! Do you hear me? Ha ha ha!" Here is one skit I assembled, some parts you may recognize so in the spirit of the Oscars I call it work inspired by previous material: (Three Scouts around a Campfire) Scout 1: I am so glad to be out of the house, all my parents think about is scouting, my dad wants to serve tin foil dinners at my graduation party Scout 2: You think thats bad? My parents looted my college fund to buy Coleman stock when they got a tip they were coming out with a propane powered microwave camp stove. Scout 3 Yeah, well my mom says my dads favorite cologne is Deep Woods Off Scout 1 When my dad redid the downstairs bathroom, the plans called for digging a second , deeper hole. Scout 2 MY Dad was arrested at the airport, he wouldnt let go of his nailclipper until the security guard said thank you Scout 3 Last winter when we lost power for a day my parents started using the 3 pot method for washing dishes, and We are STILL using it! (Scouts 4 and 5 walk onto stage) Scout 4: Hey, what are you guys doing?, Scout 3 Oh, we are just talking about how nuts our parents are over scouting, Aren't you the twin brothers who just joined the Troop? Scout 5 Yes, just joined and our family is questionably the most nuts over scouting, bar none! Scout 2 Oh yeah? What makes you so sure? Scout 5 You want to handle that one Baden? Scout 4 No, you take it Powell. (more to come) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrentAllen Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I don't get it. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John-in-KC Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 This came from the PD at Camp Sawmill, H Roe Bartle Scout Reservation. It's also been done at Camp Lone Star and Camp Piercing Arrow (each of those camps on our great Scout Reservation beds down 500+ Scouts and Scouters a night during the season): We are the Bartle Orchestra, following the count. (Audience repeat) And people come from miles just to hear us play. (Audience repeat) Ich kenn spiele (or I can play it...) (audience repeat), Du kenn spiele (or You can play it...) (audience repeat), Spielde der (insert instrument here). Then the conductor points to the section that is assigned that particular instrument and they make the noise. Our dining halls divide easily into 4 sections, I've seen combinations of: Tuba Bagpipes Drums Flutes Trumpets Horns Trombones Instruments which have fun body movements work. I think a Bear Family Camp staffer is going to take it to the Theodore Naish Scout Reservation for 9 year olds to have fun with this summer It can also be used for Pack meetings and even Blue and Golds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevejb Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I like it OldGreyEagle. May have to use that one sometime. Steve B Scoutmaster, Troop 68, CMC http://melrosetroop68.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FScouter Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I don't get it either. Its not funny at all. Here let me fix it for you. In the final scene the 6th Scout runs out and vomits all over the rest of them. Now THATS entertainment. Har har har. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldGreyEagle Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 this one is topical, and I have to warn you if not changed from this version to a more up to date version during your week of camp, a lot could be lost: Scout 1: Hey Walter how are you doing? Scout 2: Fine, You know I really like Summer Camp, but I miss being in touch with music Scout 1: Yeah, I know what you mean, but the guys in my troop try to find things related to music all around us Scout 2: How do you do that? Scout 1: Well, its like at the trading post, whatever the total I always give them 5 cents more than the total so I can get a NICKELBACK, Scout 2: Whoa NELLY, I think I get it, like what do you call the glow of the campfire coals? Scout 1 What ? Scout 2 EVANESCENCE Scout 1: Can you believe the menu? RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS three days in a row Scout 2: Yeah, thats not right, thats stupid, its outrageous, its LUDICRIS! Scout 1: I really like the Camp Director this year, he is a really nice guy Scout 2: Yeah, I know what you mean, You could say he is a PRINCE among men Scout 1: Hey, I just got a letter from home, my mom judges show dogs as a hobby Scout 2: She does? Thats neat, what breed of Dog ? Scout 1: Yeah, her specialty is the Spaniel breed, you know like Cocker Spaniel, Springer Spaniel, Irish water Spaniel, those kinds of dogs There was quite an stir at the National Spaniel Show last month my mom says Scout 2: What happened? Scout 1: Well, the headline in Spaniels Monthly says it all, BRITNEY SPEARS Number one rank Scout 1: By the way, what happened to your shirt? Its awful dirty, did you get in a mud fight? Scout 2: Oh,no it got STAIND in a PUDDLE OF MUD while I as running through LINKIN PARK it was feeding time at the zoo and I wanted to see the GORRILLAZ eat Scout 1: I guess the Staff/Leader Soccer game got a little out of hand last night Scout 2: Yeah, I hear the staff called themselves THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS Scout 1: Thats better than the Staff Basketball Team, FIVE FOR FIGHTING Scout 3: Hey what are you guys talking about? Scout 2: He is telling me how to keep music in mind by using musical group names in general conversation Scout 3: Oh no, not U-2 !!! (turns to the audience) Heres one we all can do, If a guy who works with silver is called a silver smith, and a guy who works with gold is a goldsmith then the archery guy who makes arrows is an: (waits) Audience: AEROSMITH If a day when all camp activities are halted due to heat is a red day, and when you are cautioned to drink 4 glasses of water is called a yellow day, then a day where heat is not an issue is called a (Waits) Audience: GREEN DAY (they get ready to leave the stage) Scout 1: Hey, did you think this skit was funny? Scout 2: I am not sure, I just think the camp director is happy we didnt mention BARE NAKED LADIES (Walk off ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FScouter Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 That's the KORNiest, most CRASS skit I've ever heard. You really nailed it, with 9 INCH NAILS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
local1400 Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 If you two keep up that TALKTALK, you may create a SCANDAL. The POLICE may come, and it will be an ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. KISS and make-up, or you'll be banned (band?) TIL' TUESDAY. ENOUGH Z'NUFF! On a side note, I am impressed with the array of musical artists listed. I think OGE is really ODB!(This message has been edited by local1400) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevejb Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Just look what you started OldGreyEagle. You should be ashamed of yourself. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldGreyEagle Posted February 24, 2007 Author Share Posted February 24, 2007 Not bad for a guy with no sense of humor huh? Well, did anyone get the thespianistic quote reference I opened with? "And do you know what I say? Ha ha! Do you hear me? Ha ha ha!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldGreyEagle Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 This falls into the category of An Adaptation from a Previous work, I also have Venturing and Commisioner Versions, I knoe its long and would take some rehearsal by the participants, but its a knockout Reporter: Are you the representative of Troop XXX in XXX? Scout: Yes sir. Are you the reporter I am supposed to meet? Reporter: Yes I am. My paper thinks a story on your troop would be interesting, its supposed to be very unique. Scout: Yes, after all, we are the finest troop in XXX Council! Reporter: Well, I am glad you are proud of your troop, now tell me about the leaders. Scout: Lets see now, WHO is the Scoutmaster, WHAT is the Senior Patrol Leader and I DONT KNOW, the Quartermaster. Reporter: Well thats just great. I dont think you are the right person for this. Scout: And Why not? Reporter: Do you know the leaders names or not? Scout: Yes I do. Reporter: OK, then who is the Scoutmaster? Scout: Yes. Reporter: I mean the guys name. Scout: WHO. Reporter: Who is your Scoutmaster? Scout: Right. Reporter: Wait, Repeat what you just said. Scout: WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: Youre asking me? Scout: I am not asking you, WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: But I am asking, Who is the Scoutmaster? Scout: Thats the mans name. Reporter: Thats whose name? Scout: Yes. Reporter: Well, out with it, tell me Scout: WHO. Reporter: The Scoutmaster. Scout: WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: I can see I am getting nowhere with this. Scout: I am answering your questions honestly. Reporter: Hey, I was a scout once. Made it to Star when a boy is ready to advance a rank, he has a Scoutmaster Conference right? Scout: Yes. Reporter: So, Who does the conference? Scout: Exactly! Reporter: Wait you are confusing me, what is the Scoutmasters name? Scout: Actually no, WHAT is the Senior Patrol Leader. Reporter: But I am not asking you who is the Senior Patrol Leader. Scout: WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: Thats what I am trying to find out. Scout: Well dont change the subject. Reporter: Me??? Scout: Now take it easy. Reporter: The Scoutmasters name is what? Scout: WHAT is the name of the Senior Patrol Leader. Reporter: I am not asking who is the Senior Patrol Leader. Scout: WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: I DONT KNOW! Scout: Oh, thats the Quartermaster, but we are not talking about him. Reporter: How did the subject change to the Quartermaster? Scout: You mentioned his name. Reporter: I mentioned his name? Who the Quartermaster? Scout: No, WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: Stay away from the Scoutmaster, OK? Scout: You started it Reporter: What is the Scoutmasters name? Scout: WHAT is the Senior Patrol Leader. Reporter: I am not asking you who is the Senior Patrol Leader. Scout: WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: I DONT KNOW! Scout: He is the Quartermaster. Reporter: There we go, back to the Quartermaster. Scout: Well, I cant help it. Reporter: Say, Lets stick with the Quartermaster. Scout: Sure. Reporter: So, What is the Quartermasters name? Scout: What is the Senior Patrol Leader. Reporter: I am not asking you who is the Senior Patrol Leader. Scout: WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: I DONT KNOW! Scout: The Quartermaster. Reporter: Does your troop have a Scribe? Scout: Sure, every good troop has a Scribe. Reporter: The Scribes name? Scout: WHY. Reporter: Oh, I thought I would just ask. Scout: Well then, I thought I would just tell you. Reporter: OK, Who is the Scribe? Scout: WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: What is the name of the Scribe? Scout: WHAT is the name of the Senior Patrol Leader. Reporter: I am not asking you who is the Senior Patrol Leader. Scout: WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: I DONT KNOW! BOTH: The Quartermaster Reporter: And the Librarians name? Scout: LATER. Reporter: Oh, just forget the Librarian. Do you have a Troop Committee Chairman in this troop? Scout: Of course, we wouldnt be the finest troop in the council without the finest Committee ChairPERSON. Reporter: OK, tell me the Troop Committee ChairPERSONs name. Scout: TOMORROW. Reporter: You dont want to tell me now? Scout: I am telling you the name, TOMORROW. Reporter: Not today? Scout: TOMORROW. Reporter: When tomorrow? Scout: When? Reporter: When Tomorrow are you gonna tell me who is the Troop Committee Chairman? Scout: Now listen, WHO is not the Troop Committee Chairperson, WHO is the . Reporter: Please dont say WHO is the Scoutmaster. Scout: You are asking the questions. Reporter: I want to know what is the name of the Troop Committee Chairperson? Scout: WHAT is the name of the Senior Patrol Leader. Reporter: I DONT KNOW! Both: The Quartermaster. Reporter: You know, I have a son that would like to join Boy Scouts. Scout: You do? Reporter: Yeah, I think the only way to find out these peoples names is to have him join the troop. Scout: I am sure he would be a fine addition. Reporter: Well, I think I will bring him to your nest meeting. Scout: That would be great! Reporter: And while I am there I want to talk to the Scoutmaster. Scout: I would think so. Reporter: And I take my son and talk to Who? Scout: Now thats the first right thing you have said. Reporter: HUH??? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!! Scout: Well you should talk to WHO. Reporter: Oh, I talk to WHO? Scout: After all, WHO is the Scoutmaster. Reporter: I talk to WHO Scout: Yes. Reporter: So after I talk to WHO, the Scoutmaster, I then talk to the Senior Patrol Leader and his name is WHAT? Scout: Yes sir. Reporter: And then I talk to the Quartermaster . Scout: I DONT KNOW. Reporter: OK, WHO is the Scoutmaster, WHAT is the Senior Patrol Leader and I DONT KNOW is Quartermaster. Scout: By George, I think youve got it. Youre the one who said we were unique I thought you knew about the names. Reporter: But doesnt that cause a lot of STRESS? Scout: STRESS, thats the guy keeping track of rank advancement. Reporter: Lets see, WHO, WHAT, I DONT KNOW, WHY, TOMORROW, STRESS, they are all names? Holy Smoke! Scout: Holy Smoke? Thats our Troop Chaplain. Reporter: Im leaving. This is NUTS. Scout: NUTS, Thats our Council Executive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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