Denless Dad with question about Homesick Boys

[SMT224]

During my first year as Scoutmaster I let a very homesick Scout call home on Monday evening because he "needed" to talk to his Mom. Worst thing I could have done! Despite preping his Mom, he melted into tears when he heard her voice, and then I heard her wail: "I miss you so much..." Well, that did it. The next day his brother came up and took him home.

 

Since then, I have a general policy (no absolutes Vicki!) not to allow phone calls home for homesickness. I intially focused on the sad Scout and worked to counsel him on getting over homesickness. But I have found it to be far better to have to the SPL and ASPLs work with the homesick Scouts and pull them into the fold of the Troop. This, more than anything else, has worked in helping cure homesickness and develops a very strong bond amoung the Scouts.

 

Does it alway work? No. Last year a Scout was miserable, and we worked to keep him at camp for the week. He seemed to get over much of his sadness on Wednesday, and seemed to have fun at Camp and Troop activities. But after camp he quit the Troop and his Mother reported that he did so because he had such a miserable time at camp. Not sure if letting him call home would have help or not, but it's always too bad to see some leave Scouting.

 

YIS,

Bill

[orennoah]

Funny this is, you see, every year that darned phone at camp seems to be out of order. Not matter what camp we attend.

 

Some day, these camps should get around to fixing them.

 

:-)

[Mr.Mal]

Funny this is, you see, every year that darned phone at camp seems to be out of order. Not matter what camp we attend.

 

Some day, these camps should get around to fixing them.

 

:-)

Or it sure is terrible that we just can't get a working cell site right now . Where is that guy that is always asking "Can you hear me"?

[Lynda J]

One thing that will effect how a boy does his first summer camp in how his parents deal with him being gone. If they spend the week before camp talking about how much they are going to miss him his chances are 80% greater to get homesick.

 

If instead they talk about how many great experiences he will have to tell them about when he gets back and how many new friends he will make he is much less likely to get homesick.

 

Another thing is that first letter he gets from home. Same thing. Tell his parents not to talk about how the dog misses him. But again about the great fun he is having and that they are looking forward to hearing all about his first summer final night campfire.

 

And I never recommend that a kid calls home if he is getting home sick. I have found that it almost always makes it worse. THis is one of the reasons we do allow our boys to take cell phones to camp with them. If there is an emergency call me and I will give him the message.

Two years ago there was a mother that called her son the second day of camp to tell him that his bird had died. Kid cried so hard that he made himself physically sick. Ended up going home.

 

 

[Oak Tree]

I'll go along with the 'no absolutes' suggestion. It's very helpful to hear stories of how people had to deal with different situations - but in the end, you're going to have to use your judgement.

 

I had a boy who was so homesick that he appeared to be on the edge of a nervous breakdown. We did try to call his home - and although we got their answering machine, just making that call seemed to calm him down considerably. It was as if he realized he wasn't cut off from the rest of the world, and things would be ok. He was fine from then on. It was an amazing transformation, actually, and it's hard to imagine how any other solution could have worked out any better.

 

Oak Tree