Back from Summer camp with questions

[Eagle309]

I just got back from summer camp. The week went fairly well. They had a COPE program for the adults one hour a day which I attended. This was great as it aided in building commaradarie amoung the adults as well as giving us some realy good ideas for things to propose to the PLC for troop meeting "games". The low point was the day before we left. First, I got an 'urgent' call from my wife at the office. My grandmother had died (not unexpectidly, but nonetheless). Then they had an adult 'scoutmaster' recognigion at the campfire. Since I had attended and signed in at the leaders meetings, I was called up. When all was over, the other parent (who stayed in camp most of the week, not even comming to many meals) had apprently been told by the SM that they were acting SM and should have gotten the recognition/award. I appologized for the misunderstanding and gave them the award (belt buckle), but they did not speak to me the remainder of camp.

 

I had a couple of issues come up that I would like adivse on also. First off, how do you deal with a very homesick scout? On night two shortly after the activity this boy (first year scout) was in a near panic attack over missing his dad. We got him to the health lodge where he was calmed a little. This process repeated itself the next night and even more the next day. His dad came up for parents night, but fortunately made the scout stay. He was miserable the rest of the week and had many trips to the health lodge or chapilin for this. Despite all this, he did complete the week and earn 4 merit badges in addition to some Tenderfoot/2nd/1st requirements. Is there anything more I should have done and how should I follow up with this boy?

 

Secondly, how do you deal with untrained parents along who meddle and mess things up? I know the best answer is don't have them along, but sometimes in order to have enough adults just to go this cannot be done. In this case, the parent was a MC. The scout made a log into what he labled a 'Scout beating stick' and threatened (in a playful manner, but nontheless it was wrong) some younger scouts with it. The boys themselves remidied the manner-- when this scout left camp for a while, the 'stick' became fuel for the fire. His parent told him who did this and then allowed him to make another one. I was speachless and in no position to do anything.

[scoutldr]

Unfortunately, at our camp, any adult who is not camp staff is referred to as a "Scoutmaster". I don't know how to get around that, and it sounds like the other adult was too easily offended. You did the honorable thing by apologizing.

 

Sounds like the homesick scout was handled just right. Next year he will probably have a blast. When he receives all those MB at the next COH, he will be beaming with pride and accomplishment and will have forgotten all about being homesick.

 

"Other adults" need to be told prior to the outing that the SM (or ASM) is in charge, and all questions should be handled by him or the SPL. Scouts soon learn that with 3 or 4 adults they can always "shop" for the answer they want.

[EagleInKY]

I agree with scoutldr about your immature companion. Sounds like he has some power issues.

 

There isn't one answer for homesickness. We try a number of things. First, we keep them busy. Most of the time, when a boy gets busy, he'll forget about everything else. I've got a great set of assistants. They have different styles. One tends to treat them as yours did, while another takes the "tough love" approach. Another tries to joke with them and have a good time, while another one is laid back about the whole thing.

 

One thing we do is have a parent's meeting prior to camp. We tell them how we treat homesickness. One thing we DON'T do is let them call home. We also tell them that taking their son home on parent's night is not an option.

 

As for parents, we try to make sure they understand the chain of command. We also try to isolate them away from their sons to some degree. We encourage them to stand back and let the boys do their thing. In fact, sometimes we have to be pretty direct with them.

[frank10]

One thing I have found over the years is that small bodies burn up meals faster than older and larger bodies. Scouts are rushed in the dining hall and just can't pack away enough calories... Result is they start to lose their way some time around 7pm. We try to provide a nighly snack to the first year scouts (nothing fancy, an apple or orange.) We also plan a few troop snacks over the week like hand cranked icecream or apple pie from the dutch oven.

 

It doesn't solve all the problems but it can cut them down to just the hard core cases.

 

As for the other adult, first impulse is to tell him he's not a kid any more, it's time to grow up. For this my mother would slap me in the back of the head.

After taking two advil for the headache, I'd reconsider and say this adult must not feel comfortable and maybe I should make a point of giving him a pat on the back the next time I have a chance. It wouldn't cost me any thing and who knows, he might just pull me out of a low point when I need it. For this mom would pinch my cheeks and tell me what a good boy I am... Ouch, that hurts, I can't win. (Grin)

[CA_Scouter]

I think Wingnut has hit the proverbial nail on the head! Feed 'em. Bingo! We made Dutch Oven peach cobbler two nights at camp, and the boys were just as good as gold!

 

I found that keeping them very busy is the key - sign them up for First Class trail and several merit badges, encourage the overnighters, and when they are in camp during free time, get them to grab their books and sit with you to get things signed off. We found that on Friday, after all the programs had closed and before the campwide games began, that the boys really started to unravel, i.e.. poking at each other, throwing rocks, all kinds of little mischief ( nothing serious, but annoying nonetheless ).

 

Keeping them busy was a real key for us - we were lucky and had no homesickness issues, in fact we had one kid who told his mom he was going to quit scouts after summer camp, but ended up asking to be Historian for the troop. I was real happy about that!

 

Oh yea, tell your little colleague with the hurt feelings to grow up. Sheesh!

 

I think you handled the homesickness scout just the best you could. I'm sure it was a trying circumstance for you, but thank you for being there for the kid. You'll look back at your face in the mirror one morning, and you'll have a little grin knowing that you handled it ok.

 

 

 

 

[GopherJudy]

Sorry about the death of your grandmother, even though "it's expected", it's still a surprise when it happens.

 

Regarding the adult who stayed in camp, I think his behavior is rather childish. You did a lot of work going around to meetings, etc. while that person just stayed in camp. Granted I'm sure that gets boring but still in all, you deserved the recognition & award.

 

Regarding homesick scouts! Having had one last week I know about this! My son who is a new scout & went to his 1st summer camp was homesick & worried about me even before I left camp. His SM talked to him & I was able to leave to go home. It was very upsetting to see my son cry like that. He called me Monday night & cried for me to come & get him, I told him he'd regret coming home now & to stay the whole week, that he would be able to do that & That I'd be ok. He was better by Wednesday & when I picked him up on Saturday he greeted me with a big hug & kiss & told me he was glad that he stayed. I attribute my son's change in homesickness was that his SM talked to him & assured him that he'll be fine & realized that during down time when my son had time to think, that's when he got homesick, so he kept Mark busy during down time. Also, one of the older scouts, talked to Mark, told him that he had gone through the same thing when he was a new scout, that he got through it & so will Mark. He really helped Mark out a lot when they didn't have "classes" & saw the difference in Mark after a few days. The older scout also said that Mark's eyes lit up the day he got a package in the mail from me! I know all the boys are different & probably react to homesickness differently. I would say for homesickenss have someone (the SM, ASM or older Scout) assure the boy that he'll be ok & to enjoy camp. I think an older scout might work better in that the new scouts might believe them better than an adult. Hopefully the older scout will be able to "hang out" with the new scouts to make them feel better. Don't let the boys call home, it makes it worse. I think also having a parent send them something to the boy at the camp via mail helps too. Good luck for next year!

 

Regarding meddling parents, remind them that they're not there to babysit their son(s), they are there to assist when necessary. To stay back & let the boys learn & if they make mistakes, they'll learn from their mistakes. Also, that "tattling" is rather immature unless it's a life or death situation.

 

Judy

[jr56]

Sorry about your Grandmother. Too bad, it's usually the parents that cause more problems than the kids. Sounds like you handled everything about as well as can be expected. Keep up the good work and don't worry about second guessing yourself, you're head abd shoulders above the rest.

[ryan43091]

i had a very similar situation. im not a scoutmaster though i am only staff. what had happened was this one boy in my indian lore class would constantly break out crying because he was homesick. i tried to calm him down. he was very drematic about it until parents night where he felt much better and enjoyed the rest of the week

[pmickle1027]

1) I agree with everyone. There needs to be a chain of command. 2) I dont like parents night. some years I have lost a third of the Troop. I usally try to get the parents to come up for at least 1 day.