marshmallow roasting rant...

[SMT224]

BEGIN RANT

 

When the popular press or the advertising industry wants to show "camping", the inevitable graphic or photo is of a happy family or group of smiling kids sitting around a fire holding marshmallow sticks over a fire. Over a fire. Always over flames.

 

I'm sorry folks, but this is just plain wrong.

 

The only thing that will come from putting a marshmallow over flames is a carbonized lump. Now I know that some kids get a kick out of a flaming marshmallow, and allegedly "like it that way", but all they are doing is eating carbon and melted marshmallow, not a real roasted marshmallow.

 

So what is a real roasted marshmallow?

 

I content, here and now, before this gathering of my peers, that the only way to really roast a marshmallow is over embers -- not ever flames. Furthermore, a real roasted marshmallow is one that has been caramelized by the heat of the embers. Caramelized, not burnt. Big difference.

 

Properly done, the once white and creamy marshmallow has a light brown caramelized outer skin with a liquid, molten layer inside. A real roasted marshmallow can either be eaten whole or the outer layer slid off and consumed while the rest of the marshmallow is roasted again.

 

The key thing is caramelization, whish is the browning of sugar, a process that results is a nutty flavor and brown color. As the process occurs, according to wikipedia, volatile chemicals are released, producing the characteristic caramel flavor.

 

Not too hard to do gently rotate the impaled marshmallow over glowing embers, raising or lowering depending on heat and the caramelizing process. The result, a delicious morsel to savor as the night grows long.

 

And yet, on countless Scout camping trips I have been on - Cubs, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts kids, and sadly many adults, truly believe that the proper way to roast a marshmallow is to stick it in the flames. And why not? The media portrays it thusly in every TV show, every movie, every ad, and every print portrayal of happy campers!

 

So you better believe I do my best to set em straight! Some listen, find a nice patch of glowing embers at the side of the fire and soon discover how wonderful a properly roasted marshmallow can be. They are hooked for life.

 

Others resist my heartfelt suggestion, plunge the virginal marshmallow deep into the flames, where upon it almost instantly bursts into flames, never to be the same again. And then they tell me that "it's better this way", or "I don't want to wait for embers, I want it now." Both rationales should be cause for grave concern.

 

Those who insist that burnt is better likely have never tasted a marshmallow that has been caramelized to its full potential. A sad commentary on their pitiful lives where burnt is considered to be better than good. How can any rational mind accept this?

 

And as to those who are too impatient to wait a few moments for embers or even to shift a log a bit to uncover a nice patch of embers, well, all I can say is that good things come to those who wait and those who seek. Doth this not mirror our society in general? Where we must have everything instantly and cannot wait less we miss something. But if youre sitting around a campfire at night, where else are you are you going? Whats the hurry? Has impatience become a habit?

 

Therefore and accordingly, I call upon this, the world Scouting community, to step forward and stand up for the true roasted marshmallow. Banish the burnt! Let your knowledge of heats effect on disaccharide sucrose, where it is broken down into the monosaccharides of fructose and glucose (as well as such reactions as the equilibration of anomeric and ring forms, condensation, intramolecular bonding, isomerization of aldoses to ketoses, dehydration, fragmentation, and of course, unsaturated polymer formation), guide you as you join with me to impart the joy of a truly delicious delectable.

 

Why you might ask, doth not the marshmallow industry take up the cry for the real roasted marshmallow rather than allow the burnt cinder that the flame creates? But then again, the more that are burnt, the more that are bought. Could a conspiracy be afoot? Could the very industry that, day after day, constructs these little white morsels be behind the media bias of flame over embers?

 

END RANT

 

 

 

[Scoutfish]

I wholeheartedly agree!

 

I also have repeatedly told my cubs to no end to hold the marshmellows about a foot over the coals.

 

I think I would have a better chance of convincing the lizards on my deck to not run away as I have no malicious intentiuons when I walk up the steps of my deck.

 

But you know what I hate worse?

 

Scraping sticky marshmellow corpses of my shoes the next day or trying to remove the army of ants that have taken up camp next to a bench because of sticky marshmellow all over teh bench, teh grass, the bush next to the bench, etc..

 

I also hate the flying flaming marshnellows that result froms scouts shaking the stick at 100 mph to put out the flams.

 

 

Looks like the Roman Empire army of archers shooting flaming arrows at the enemy. Seena few scouts get burned by flying marshmellows too.

 

It's a constant thing too.

 

Personally, I like the idea of marshmellow tacos over roasting on a stick.

 

Take a couple mini marshmellows and drop them on a soft taco shell. Sprinkle a few chocolate chips and crumble some gramcracker in there too.

 

Fold it over and wrap it in foil and lay it in the cola sfor a minute ot too. Let cool for a minute and hand it to the kids!

 

 

[raisinemright]

224,

 

I'm sorry sir, but I beg to differ with you. As you read my post in its entirety, you will have no choice but to not only agree with me, but to run out and get the main ingredient and light up a fire in your back yard just to try it.

 

Forget those pesky little marshmallows, go right to the gold standard.

 

Here it comes.

.

.

.

.

Roast Peeps.

 

For best results, planning in advance is necessary. Take a package of Peeps and cut a slit in the plastic. Place peeps in a cool dry environment for 3-6 weeks until they are aged to perfection.

 

On a hot bed of coals, gently impale the aged Peep on a stick. (a fork is a little better, especially on non-aged Peeps)

Hold near coals turning almost constantly until a hard caramelized shell is visible on all sides. Note: Outer skin will turn dark brown or black.

Here's the important part. Allow to cool for at least two minutes or your scouts will be able to practice treating 2nd degree burns to the lips-don't ask how I know that.

 

What follows will be the best, most addictive camp treat ever.

 

Hey, don't run to the store yet, wait till I'm done typing.

 

OK, I'm done, you can go now.

 

 

[Beavah]

Hear, hear!

[SMT224]

raisinemright - there is nothing better than a well aged and crunchy peep... but roasted? Never done it! I can't wait! Thanks!

 

Scoutfish - Had a Scout once who figured he'd be real smart and sharpened his stick at both ends so he could be roasting a marshmallow whilst eating the cooked one at the same time. Well, he set the first one on fire, flipped the stick around, and the flaming goo plopped right down on his forearm. What a yell! And it kept on burning! We had a nice little fireside first-aid lesson!

[SeattlePioneer]

This is a new life experience. I never expected to see a rant about roasting marshmallows!

[83Eagle]

It beats the usual rants!

 

My instruction for kids is WHEN your marshmallow catches on fire...not IF but WHEN...do not frantically wave your stick around trying to put out the fire...

[Basementdweller]

We like the bunnys better than the chicks....but it better than standard marshmellows.....but they will catch fire and scorch if your not attentive for sure.

[SSScout]

Carbo loading at it's best.

 

But I will take my share of Mr. Graham's crackers and Mr. Hersey's bars and leave Mr. Marsh's mallows for others.

 

(don't tell my dentist).

[sailingpj]

There is definitely no comparison between roasted marshmallows, and burnt marshmallows.

 

As for the flaming ones, if you blow them out fast enough they are still edible. It doesn't take much to blow them out either, just a good solid puff of air, such as one might use to blow out a big group of birthday candles.

[kari_cardi]

I'm sorry, I must disagree. I prefer my marshmallows lightly and evenly TOASTED. Roasted marshmallows are overdone. Also, Nutella is far superior to Hershey's chocolate, though I never turn down the classic s'more.

 

I am not a fan of the flaming blobs of sugar so popular with the scouts. Such a waste of a perfectly good marshmallow.