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Camping Tips


OldGrayOwl

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Here are some tips that I have come across with my many years of camping:

Camping Tips:

 

Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

 

A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

 

The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.

 

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

 

Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable Scouts to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

 

You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

 

You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

 

The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar device used by Tibetan veterinarians.

 

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

 

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

 

A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

 

A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.

 

In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.

 

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

 

The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled Scouters for years. The sight of a bald Scouter, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

 

Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.

 

When using a public campground, a tuba or a drum set placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side of you vacant.

 

In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring camper.

 

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OGOwl - ROFLMAO!

 

Regarding Bears on Camping trips:

 

"The Montana FWP recommends carrying bear bells and pepper spray when you go hiking in the woods to warn the bears in the area of your presence. That way you let them know your coming so they don't get startled.

 

The also have some pictures on their website showing the difference between black bear and grizzly scat so you can identify what kind of animals are around you in the woods.

 

Basically, the difference is the black bear scat looks like regular bear scat with berry seeds and twigs, while the grizzly bear scat has little bells in it and it smells like hot peppers!!!!"

 

 

 

Read more: http://www.city-data.com/forum/montana/474680-difference-between-black-bear-scat-grizzly.html#ixzz1AyrAaC1Y

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The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.

What about the Denali Landfill? http://tinyurl.com/459pjt5

 

Or the Teton Landfill? http://www.tetonwyo.org/AgencyHome.asp?dept_id=recycl

 

Does a trash consulting firm count? http://www.manta.com/c/mmjxr33/adirondack-landfill-services-llc

 

(This message has been edited by the blancmange)

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SERIOUS NOTE: While at summer camp in grizzly country we received bear training along with all other orientation for the week from the National Park Service-Yellowstone.

 

The new procedure is not to curl up in a ball. Lie flat on your stomach, spread your legs put hands behind your head and keep your elbows out. The idea is to keep from getting turned over and expose throat and underbelly. In a curled position you're already half exposed. Do this only if you're alone. Otherwise group together to make yourselves appear to be larger than a singular person. Bears have poor eyesight and will not attack something that it thinks is bigger than they are.

 

So do not have all the boys run! Instead group together and make lots of noise.

 

Grizzlies are bigger and more aggressive and will attack to fight. If you don't fight back, they'll give up quickly. Black bears are protective/defensive and will be less likely to give up.

 

Of course keep the SM in the middle of the group so he can direct the action... :)

 

Your mileage may vary,

 

Stosh

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The ONLY kid who will fall off the dock is the one in the group who can't swim.

 

Playing keep away with the last roll of toliet paper is only funny if you're not the one who needs to use the port-a-john.

 

TP makes great tinder for a campfire, used TP insures you get the fire all to yourself.

 

The only kid who will fall and gash his leg open on the hike is the one who faints at the sight of blood, you can hike the rest through shards of broken glass without a scratch.

 

Same applies to bee stings and allergic reactions...

 

The best way to get back at the SM that sends you out on a Snipe hunt is to actually bring one back in the bag!

 

Hydration bladders work great as squirt guns when held in the bagpipe position.

 

The only thing worse than no TP is wet TP.

 

Waterproof matches aren't.

Rip-stop nylon isn't.

 

Gucci doesn't make a fashionable wag-bag.

 

If you can get real buffalo skin blankets, it doesn't matter what the temperature is outside the tent.

 

A scout's willingness to cook for oneself is directly porportional to the hunger in his belly.

 

Grunting and scratching sounds outside the tent is an extremely effective way to get scouts to shut up and go to sleep.

 

Push-ups, moving rocks, and dragging picnic tables are all effective forms of camp discipline - I speak from expirience.

 

The only thing better than packig up the tuck to start the trip, is when the last parent picks up their kid.

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The only kid who will fall and gash his leg open on the hike is the one who faints at the sight of blood.

 

I'm sorry Dean, you've got that one wrong. The kid who faints at the sight of blood will be the buddy of the hemophiliac who falls and gashes his leg on the only shard of glass within 10 miles.

 

 

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>>>>>(Based on a true event)

 

 

For easy removal of carbon, apply a thin layer of liquid soap to the outside of a pot used before putting it over a wood fire. Liquid soap applied as a thin layer to the inside of the pot before cooking the meal makes the patrol angry during dinner.

 

 

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It turns out that after you cook a pork chop in dish soap, no amount of scraping of the pork chop will remove the soap taste. It does an excellent job of penetrating the meat.

 

I always thought you got your mouth washed out with soap after you said the bad words, but this story makes me think maybe it works the other way around too sometimes...

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"Same applies to bee stings and allergic reactions..."

 

How true - I have seen only one bee sting in the 12 years we have been going to our summer camp. Of course it was the kid who was allergic! Had to use the epi-pen and transport to the local hospital for antibiotics.

 

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