Ready for Boy Scouts

[sctmom]

A year ago I would never have guessed my son (now 10 1/2 yrs old) would be ready for Boy Scouts at this time. But he is! I'm torn between proud parent/Webelos Leader and sentimental mom (oh, my baby is growing up).

 

Seriously, he is chomping at the bit. Out of the blue this week he wanted to know if he could visit the troop again. We visited twice last fall. He doesn't know any of the kids at this troop, or at least he didn't before the visits. I asked if he wanted to look at the troop that is forming down the road that would have kids from his school, and he informed me that he DID know the kids at the troop we visited. Ah, Scouting brotherhood at its best!

 

So, looks like come March I'm "Boy Scout's Mom" no longer "Cub Scout's Mom".

 

The next hurdle is for him to be convinced that no one is going to play nasty tricks on him at summer camp. That is his big fear about going to summer camp. Hopefully those spring troop campouts will calm that down.

 

[andrews]

They probably will play tricks on him. The key may be in getting him to realize such tricks won't scar him for life. Though such seem much worse when you are young.

 

Congratulations!

 

Brad

[sctmom]

He is very small for his age and is mainly afraid of being picked on for that reason. He can handle a small trick on him, especially if he knows it is not because he is small.

He has a hard time with not only kids, but also adults refusing to believe he is 10 years old. He looks like he is 7. People are rude and say "you're not old enough to be here".

 

I think the troop he has chosen is good and don't let things get out of hand. There is already another boy there who is very small in size, so that should help him out. And he has seen that the "big" kids were very nice to him.

 

Hey, he's known for pulling tricks himself on people --- like MOM!

[Chief Decorah]

This may turn into a full blown discussion about hazing/teasing, etc. like the conversation that took place regarding shoreline and left-handed smoke benders. I hope it doesn't.

 

Your son SHOULD be excited to join Boy Scouts, but he SHOULDN'T have to be concerned about teasing from older Scouts in his Troop at summer camp. I don't want to come off as someone over-protective of his son because a lot of that is normal, everyday stuff. It all depends on the delivery. If it's offered as fun, and taken in the right spirit, Scouting will be fun. If everyone's having fun (repeat everyone), it'll be a great Troop to join.

 

From your post, it sounds like you've found a good Troop, but it also sounds like he'll hold his own in the give-and-take department. It's my hope he has a long and enjoyable Scouting experience.

[sctmom]

I think he will hold his own.

 

I am excited for him because it shows one more step in maturity. Unlike some parents, I WANT my son to be independent. Otherwise, I haven't done my job as a parent. He's my only one and even though I miss that little baby sometime, I like seeing the young man growing in front of my eyes.

 

I plan on continuing to be involved in Scouting but am already looking for my "reason" why I can't go on some of the troop campouts. I know he will do fine and the troop is good.

 

I'm reminded of the day we went to Kindergarden open house. I was terrified at leaving him at this school of 600 kids. I turned around and he was GONE! Once he was with the kids, I didn't exist. And I had already told the teacher that he was shy. Boy, did he prove me wrong.

 

[yarrow]

Sounds like he's ready. He must have his Arrow because of the age question. I presume he does. The local troop and the kids he has always be with is not neccessarily the best troop to join. Good he is branching out. Congrats! and of course your "reason" is .......let this be his guy thing. I avoid the campouts and only camp with my girls in Girl Scouting. My boy has 3 sisters....he needs a guys only thing. I attend all the meetings as Secretary and keep abreast of what's happening but camping..... he's on his own without mom saying "Honey, don't you think a jacket would be a good idea?" Learns more, slowly, but still good for him. You sound like you are ready, good for you.

[evmori]

sctmom,

He's gonna get picked on some. He will probably be sent on a left handed smoke shifter with the hickory handle or 50' of right handed shore line hunt by the Scouts how fell for this the prior year. This isn't hazing, just a timeless prank that is done in fun. I know the Scouts in my Troop who spent 1 1/2 hrs looking for the shore line can't wait for "new blood" at summer camp.

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

[OldGreyEagle]

"I know the Scouts in my Troop who spent 1 1/2 hrs looking for the shore line can't wait for "new blood" at summer camp."

 

Its nice to know the tradition of being Friendly, Courteous, and Kind is alive and well.

[Stan Riddle]

I think I heard Paul Harvey say - "The only way to learn humility is through humiliation." He may well be teased. That won't kill him. There is so much in place in Scouting to prevent serious hazing, that I hope it wouldn't be factor.

[Chief Decorah]

I called it! The hazing/teasing conversation is off and running! lol

 

Some clean fun done in the spirit of Scouting isn't all bad. Moderation... moderation...

[OldGreyEagle]

My experience notwithstanding, there are far more advantages to being in the Boy Scouts than not. You commented he likes to give as much as he gets and will probably do quite well and may even pay back the vultures who prey on the weak and innocent. In spite of my hazing experience, being a Boy Scout is one of the biggest highlights in my life, and I am not ashamed to say it. Non-scouters may see this as an opening to say "get a life" and my reply would be, "I have one, Scouting is a big part of it and get oughtta face"

 

The fear of whatever teasing comes his way should in no way overshadow the tremoundous adventures he will have. In a few years you will be asking where did my baby go? The answer is simple, He went to the Boy Scouts and became a man

[Mike Long]

Scouting IS life.

 

'nuff said.

[sctmom]

After 1 1/2 years as Webelos leader I'm also having to decide what I do now. I want to be involved but give him space. But I'm not the type of mom who checks on him during the night to see if he is covered. I may remind him to get his jacket before we leave the house, but he refuses he's the one who suffers (we live in the south, very seldom is there a fear of frost bite on the car ride to school). I do need him to learn he can do find without Mom over in the shadows, I know he can and he needs to know he can.

 

This is a big time. I ran across the picture of this first pinewood derby in first grade. Wow, what a difference today. All us 5th grade parents look at the little Tigers and go "oh, ours used to be that small and cute, just wait".

 

I think any of his fears are from TV shows depicting horrible summer camp experiences -- this seems to be a theme for some shows, movies and books. Again, I think he is afraid of physical hazing, which I'm trusting the adults to NOT tolerate at all!

 

I think BSA has a lot to offer him. I want him to be involved in something organized throughout his teenage years. I believe that it is critical for maturity and to avoid depression, drugs and other troubles. My brother, sister and myself all wish our parents had MADE us be in something -- sports, scouts, programs at the "Y", church, anything. We had options to be involved and options to quit. Going got tough we quit, no questions asked as to why.

 

[Bob Russell]

Sctmom, with regard to physical hazing, you say that you are trusting the adults to not tolerate. Don't be afraid to discuss this in detail with the adult leadership of the troop before your son joins. As a scoutmaster, I want to hear comments, both good and bad, from our parents, and I want to hear of ways to make the troop attractive to each scout, so that they want to stay.

 

With respect to your comment regarding parents making their children stay involved in activities, I believe that as parents it is our duty to keep our children involved. I have three children in scouts (1 girl scout and 2 boy scouts). Each would have quit at some time, as they would rather watch TV, play video games, etc. We let them know that their active involvement in scouting, sports, church and school activities is expected, and each does well in them all. When they are down, we encourage them. Our troop has lost good kids because the parents have not kept them involved, and have not shown through their own actions that these activities are important, and many are now just hanging out, missing out on great opportunities. I have always felt that as a parent, it is my role to lead my children, both by example and by setting boundaries and expectations.

[sctmom]

I had my son look over the requirements for the Tenderfoot badge and he realized that he knew how to do most of this stuff. He will be receiving his Arrow of Light and crossing over to Boy Scouts on March 11th. That following weekend he will go on a 2-night campout with the troop.

 

He is very excited and was pleased to see that his work on the Arrow of Light is paying off so quickly in Boy Scouts. At the same time, he sees it as enough of a challenge to be different than Cub Scouts.

 

Even though there are skills in scouting that I can teach him myself, I'm really looking forward to him having the chance to work with older boys and with other adults. For various reasons he has struggled socially at school since Kindergarten. Even though he has come a long way in that area, he doesn't fit in sometimes. I can already see the maturity growing when he is with the troop.

 

We are "visiting" the troop meetings about every week now. I've become the unofficial spokesperson for other Webelos den in our pack that is about to crossover. Last week my son didn't want to wear his jacket even though it was getting cold. I ended up in the Troop Committee meeting with other adults. Later found out that the boys had went outside, my son was cold, the car was locked, he knew where I was but decided he should not come ask for the car keys. I'm not sure why he wouldn't ask, was it not wanting to "run to mommy" or not wanting to interrupt the adult meeting or thinking I would not want him to interrupt the adult meeting. He was in no danger of freezing, and he did comment on next time he would take his jacket just in case.

 

Now, I just have to keep practicing that fine art of turning away and not worrying at Scout meetings.

 

I must remember what I've told Webelos' Parents: Bite your tongue, put your hands in your pocket and move away from the boy!