Uniform Humor: ...YOU MIGHT BE A UNIFORM POLICEMAN

[Eagle92]

Ok I keep rereading this guy's post and crack up every time. Some aren't that funny, but most are. Since not many folks go to MYSCOUTING, I thought I'd share them here as I think they are funny.

 

#1 If you spend 45 minutes with a ruler, 2 compasses, and a pencil to get your CSP "just right," you might be a uniform polceman.

 

#2 If you start placing orders for new items before your local distributor even hears of them, you might be a member of the UP.

 

#3 If the local distributor is askign you where patches go onthe uniform, you might be a member of the UP.

 

#4 If you go to the local quilting shop to get teh exact match of thread for a patch, you might be a member of the UP.

 

#5 If you carry a copy of the insignia guide in you breifcase, you might be a member of the UP.

 

#6 If you had a uniforming discussion on MYSCOUTING.ORG that lasted over 5 pages in two different groups, you might be a member of the UP.

 

#7 If you've bookmarked the on line Insignia Guide on your computer, you might be a member of the UP.

 

#8 If you refuse to take your uniform and patches to a tailor b/c they place the patches a few millimeters off, you might be a member of the UP.

 

#9 If you ever told a scout shop manager that they were wearing something incorrectly and showed the the IG, you might be a member of the UP.

 

#10 If you have a conversation on the disadvantages of velcro compared to owning multiple uniforms, you might be a member of the UP.

 

11) If your wife laughs at you b/c your about to cut off a CSP and resew it b/c it is 3 mm off, you might be a member of the UP.

 

12) If you own more uniforms than you do business suits, you might be a member of the UP.

 

13) If you think a scout and/or leader looks naked without a neckerchief, you might be a member of the UP.

 

14) if you think the Campaign hat, aka Smokey Bear, is the best hat ever made wnad should be the only Scouting hat allowed, you might be a member of the UP.

 

15) If you still carry a walking stick with air to ground signals and a scale burned into it, and 50' of parachute cord wrapped around it, you might be a member of the UP.

 

16) If you have a scouting uniform for every area, i.e. CS, BS Venturing, distictt, council , and Sea SCouting, you might be a member of the UP.

 

17) if you lament hte fatc that the Centennial Uniform did away with knee socks, you might be a member of the UP.

 

18)If people think BP was your SM, and GBB was your PL, you might be a member of the UP.

 

19)If you ever worked at a Scout Shop during Round Up season, especially on a Saturday, and outfitted 100+ new Cubs, you might be a member of the UP.

 

20) If you email National Supply pointing out an error inthe 2009 Uniform Guide, you might be a member of the UP.

 

21) If your pack asks you to create a uniforming flyer to gicve to new Cubs, you might be a member of the UP.

 

22) If you inform the local council that their 5 month old uniform flyers are now out of date, you might be a member of the UP.

 

24)in preparing for a weekend camping trip, you pack a sewing kit that has thread that matches most BSA bordered patches, just in case, you might be a member of the UP Stick out tongue

 

26) If you spend you work bonus on centennial swank, i.e. neckerchief that actually fits, temp patches,slide, hiking staff madallion, etc, you might be a member of the UP.

 

27) If you get some unexpected freetime andyou hed to the local distributor, to see if you missed anythink fro the day before trip, you might me a member of the UP.

 

28) If while you are spending your free time at the local distributorship, you start helping out cub scouts get their "upgrades," i.e. bear neckerchief, slide, hat, book,, then you might me a UP.

 

#30) If you celebrated National Supply's decision to produce the larger neckerchiefs by opening a can of diet cola (wish it was root beer), then you might be a member of the UP.

 

32) If after a RU you go to your local grocery and people are comign up to you to talk about their Scouting experiences, and how they are glad to see Scouting still exist, you might be a member of the UP.

 

#33 If you are looking at photos of Scouts on Facebook and Boy's Life website and cringe at the lackof uniforming, yo might be a UP

 

#34 If you start a threat to improve unfiorming nationwide, you might be a UP.

 

#37 If you got a bunchof your Tiger Cubs in full uniform, and your pack is doesn't have a "uniform culture," you might be a member of the UP.

 

#38 You might be the chief of the uniform police if you tell the scout executive that he is wearing a square knot backward.

 

30) If your inlaws know your about you love of kneesocks and give you 12 pairs for Christmas, you may be a UP.

 

40(?) If your wife jokingly says she's going to cremate you, stuff your ashes in knee socks, and bury it at the Scout camp(s), you might be a member of the UP.

 

41(?) If you take your wife up on the offer above, you might be a UP.

 

[Buffalo Skipper]

Eagle 92, I dont see what the fuss is about.

 

For the record:

 

#1) I am skilled enough that I only need 30 minutes and a ruler. It has been 3 years since I used a compass.

 

#2) I dont want to get into an argument with our local scout shop manager; I ask when they will have something in before I try to order it.

 

#3) The local scout shop employees know the best sources of information. They have my number on their speed dial.

 

#4) I only use heavy duty, upholstery or button thread, which sometimes can be hard to find in exactly matched colors. But I do have several shades of most colors.

 

#5) Where else would I put it? Be prepared.

 

#6) If I was an active participant on myscouting.org discussion, I probably would.

 

#7) Of course it is bookmarked. How else would I be able to find it immediately?

 

#8) Those tailors are highly overrated. And a lot of them need to have an eye exam. I hand stitch every patch.

 

#9) I have studied the our scout shop managers uniform carefully (from a distance). She does patch sewing on the side. She does an acceptable enough job, but she and I have settled disagreements by going to the insignia guide on more than one occasion.

 

#10) Velcro does have its place on one of my uniforms, but it is really not needed if you have multiple uniforms.

 

#11) My wife sewed her CSP crocked, and I did have to re-sew it. It wasnt funny at all.

 

#12) I am at scout functions 2-3 times a week. I wear a suit to weddings and funerals.

 

#13) All our scouts wear a neckerchief and look marvelous!

 

#14) I am indifferent about Campaign hats. I do like the felt brimmed hat, and wish they would bring back the red beret.

 

#15) I know my air to ground signals, so there is no need to have them on my stick. The French lashing on my grip has 125 of sierra cord.

 

#16) (1) Cub Scout, (3) Boy Scout, (1) Venturing, (3) Sea Scout [Khakis, Whites and Blues], and one multiple use uniform [see #10 above].

 

#17) Knee socks were around long before the OLD uniform. I still own a pair of the old knee socks with garters and tabs.

 

#18) Is there really any better SM or PL ever?

 

#19) Never happened.

 

#20) Only once

 

#21) No one at the pack had to ask.

#22) Someone had to tell them. You cant have that stuff going on forever, now can you?

 

#24) Be prepared, I always say. On the way to summer camp last year, 4 scouts in my car were changing out red numbers to green and several were re-sewing patrol and rank patches. They had fun doing it, too.

 

#26) Our troop neckerchiefs are custom made in two sizes, youth and adult. Everyone fits perfectly. How did you know I spent my bonus on more patches for the neckerchiefs?

 

#27) I did go up before summer camp [see #24 above].

 

#28) Only once.

 

#30) See #26 above, and I only drink root beer, not diet soda.

 

#32) This has happened to me many times.

 

#33) It is a discrace, isnt it!?

 

#34) I do try to hold my tongue. I dont want to give the wrong impression.

 

#37) ALL cubs, especially Tigers, should be in a full uniform.

 

#38) Well, he was, and frankly, it was embarrassing.

 

#30) My mother in law (rest her soul) only gave me 2 for Christmas, but she was like that.

 

#40(?) No, but she has said that she will bury me in my uniform on more than one occasion (and I dont think she was joking).

 

Really, everyone. It is a uniform, not rocket science. Try to get it right.

[prairie]

Seems I'm not so much UP as uniform obsessed.

4 7 8 10 12 13 if you include a leaders necktie,16 17 24 not so much patches but thread needles and spare buttons, 30

[emb021]

Let's see.

 

#1- No.

 

#2 If you start placing orders for new items before your local distributor even hears of them, you might be a member of the UP.

 

Nope. Just a memorabilist, and want to add to my collection.

 

#3, 4- Nope

 

#5 If you carry a copy of the insignia guide in you breifcase, you might be a member of the UP.

 

Nope. But I keep a collection of past Insignia Guides, but this is due to my memorabilist/historian stuff, not UP.

 

#6 If you had a uniforming discussion on MYSCOUTING.ORG that lasted over 5 pages in two different groups, you might be a member of the UP.

 

Never got into any discussion on MYSCOUTING, but have in other forum, mainly because some people have a problem reading/comprehending the Insignia Guide.

 

#7, 8, 9, 10, 11- Nope

 

#12 If you own more uniforms than you do business suits, you might be a member of the UP.

 

Nope. More that I'm an active scouter, so have several uniforms, and rarely wear suits, so have more uniforms then suits.

 

# 13, 14, 15

 

Nope. Also, don't have a campaign hat.

 

#16 If you have a scouting uniform for every area, i.e. CS, BS Venturing, distictt, council , and Sea SCouting, you might be a member of the UP.

 

I have both Venturing & Sea Scouting uniforms, but that's because I'm involved in both. Nothing to do with UP.

 

# 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 24, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32

 

Nope

 

#33 If you are looking at photos of Scouts on Facebook and Boy's Life website and cringe at the lackof uniforming, yo might be a UP

 

Yeah, I cringe. Don't know if its because of UP.

 

#34, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41

 

Nope.

 

 

 

[OldGreyEagle]

::Just wondering if people who expect the Advancement method of the Program to be followed as written should be known as the Advancement Police::

[Eagle92]

YES! (caps for emphasis, ok maybe a little shouting )

 

Actually I was asked to be an Advancement Policeman,. i.e. sit on the district EBOR, but had to turn it down due to other commitments: CSDC, council CS committee, OA, and oh yeah my TC den.

 

I'd rather keep my UP badge anyway!(This message has been edited by eagle92)

[83_Eagle_T148]

Doh! I'm guilty of 5 and 7. I think it's a Commissioner thing

[evmori]

Uniforms?

[le Voyageur]

 

It has been my task, and pleasure over the years to drive the UP's crazy....my trousers have been cut down, and sewn into knickers, and I get my socks from Smoke and Fire

 

 

[John-in-KC]

DING DONG The Beret is Dead!!! The Beret is Dead!!! The Beret is Dead!!!