Eagle Mills

[Beavah]

I was under the impression that parents had the ultimate authority and responsibility for their children. I must have been mistaken.

 

Sure they (we) do. Just try exercisin' your ultimate authority on a teenage daughter and see what kinda grief it gets you.

 

So even though as a parent yeh think yeh have "ultimate authority" for your child, good luck at tryin' to get the school to change that "C" in Chemistry to an "A" for your child. And don't expect that da BSA is going to accept "I don't believe in having my son do any chores" as meetin' the requirements for giving out the BSA merit badge.

 

Other people are so annoying. They claim they have "ultimate authority" for themselves and their charges, too.

 

Beavah

 

[packsaddle]

What's the argument? Didn't I write that I was wrong about all that?

Beavah, you wrote, "So even though as a parent yeh think yeh have "ultimate authority" for your child, good luck at tryin' to get the school to change that "C" in Chemistry to an "A" for your child."

 

Technically, that would be a parent attempting to influence a teacher or a school. It's not the same thing (and I suspect you know that). As a parent, and in response to that 'C', I do have the authority to pull the plug on TV, video games, etc. and sit for hours each night to help my child to understand algebra or chemistry or how to do first aid or manage a spreadsheet. It works a lot better than the 'sink or swim' approach you're advocating. But I MUST have done the wrong thing: Son graduated with honors in mechanical engineering, great job, growing family.

Regarding daughter, been there, done that. I won. She's about to graduate, also with honors. Another sad failure on my part.

 

Hi Vicki! just tickling the tail of the dragon.

 

Added note: I have just demonstrated empirically that when the baby cockroach crawls out of the woodwork, it is better to wait until AFTER it has moved past the power button before you mash it to smithereens. Saves a lot of time in the long run.

[moosetracker]

So how was the sleeping arrangement under the bed in the dorm room?..

 

Packsaddle - I am unsure if the cockroach is refering to you or JMBadger.. (If it was me, I am still in gear and raiding your pantry, right now..) I think though it might be JM as I think I did squash him, he isn't running around here any more.

 

With JMBadger:

Actually with JMBadger - I thought I started out being nice.. I appoligized and tried to explain why his reasoning was not right.. When he wiggled is antenes at me and attacked.. I then mash it to smithereens..

 

With you.. You have been around the boards to know better so I figured you just wanted to fan the flames.. So you got what you asked for, since I had yet to put the flames out.

 

Really I did not mean to attack to the point of having him run out. But people trying to alter requirements by stating it does not state you can't.. Does get me going.

[packsaddle]

Nope, a real cockroach - they're our constant companions in the South. Took 20 minutes to get the Microsoft bloatware to run right again. No dorms. Off-campus house rental. Never had to lift a finger other than to extend a credit card once in a while.

[sailingpj]

Moosetracker, correct me if I am wrong, but you seem to think that a college student cannot do well without their parents bugging them all the time. At least that is what I am getting from your comment in response to packsaddle's of his children:

 

"So how was the sleeping arrangement under the bed in the dorm room?.. "

 

If that is true then I am fully prepared to get extremely offended.

[NJCubScouter]

I think the practical, real-life definition of "Eagle mill" is "someone else's troop." Just like a "special interest group" is "someone else's group."

[Beavah]

Technically, that would be a parent attempting to influence a teacher or a school. It's not the same thing (and I suspect you know that).

 

Oh, I reckon its similar enough to da case of a merit badge, which is what we were talking about.

 

It works a lot better than the 'sink or swim' approach you're advocating.

 

What are yeh talking about? I wasn't mentioning anything about water sports. Or advocating sinking or swimming. I do advocate reading. Especially mysteries.

 

Beavah

[sailingpj]

You Beavah, mystery is good, but science fiction is even better. ;D Not that star wars Sci-Fi junk, but real Science Fiction.

[moosetracker]

Oh it is just a sarcastic image of a parent who does not allow their child to grow up and grow independent of their parents influence. Simply if you as a parent only help your child by nagging and reminding them to do what they need to, rather then teach them to be self dependent an have good habits in order to do for themselves.. Then you will need to follow them to college..

 

It is really an impracticle image because as the child matures he will not take kindly to a parents' constant hovering. Then the parent becomes the cockroach that the child will squash dead. But it was made to get a point across.

[Stosh]

From birth to age 18 the parent and child are constantly in the process of changing the ultimate responsibility/authority of the relationship from parent to child. Yes, when a child is 1 year old, the parent calls all the shots, but when that child turns 18 they haven't a leg to stand on anymore.

 

Somewhere along that journey, scouting helps the parent/child relationship by providing an option to allow that child to safely experience more and more responsibility/authority to the child so that when they finally do turn 18 it isn't an all or nothing problem.

 

One of the difficult things a lot of parents seem to forget is that how that transition occurs will have an affect on the parent/child relationship in the years beyond 18 as well. If handled poorly it will cause resentment and anger but if handled in a safe and caring fashion, the parent/child bond will become stronger and last throughout the child's lifetime.

 

Is Scouting the end-all solution to this process? Nope, but it is a useful tool parents can use to help them with this transition. SM's who genuinely care about their scouts make excellent pseudo parent role models that will assist parents, but SM's who are authoritarian and demanding will not be helpful to those parents who are caring and concerned and will magnify the problems of those parents who are themselves authoritarian and demanding.

 

Must my observations having worked with kids for 40 years. Your mileage may vary.

 

Stosh

[sailingpj]

‎"Then the parent becomes the cockroach that the child will squash dead."

 

I think my mother and I have been trading blows with hammers of ever increasing size for the past few years. Metaphorically speaking of course, I would never hit my mother.

[Beavah]

It's part of growin' up, sailingpj.

 

Your parents will always treat yeh like you are 12 until you go off to college.

 

Then they will treat yeh like you're 14.

 

Maybe, when you graduate and get a job they'll treat yeh like you're 16. If you're lucky. That might wait until you're married.

 

Da only thing that can eventually save you is having kids. Not because they'll treat you like an adult, but because they'll be so distracted by the grandkids that they won't really pay attention to yeh anymore!

 

Just da cycle of life. Don't let it bother yeh.

 

Beavah

 

[JMBadger]

No, I am still here. Had to go up North to sit in a hospital waiting room for a while, no internet access. Interesting comments directed at me since then by some, accusations that I've attacked someone, assumptions made by others just because I haven't responded with bile or vitriol.

 

I joined these forums to learn. I guess I have.

[webdog]

I reallythink it has to do with matrity. My 14 y.o son,who turns 15 in Dec.passed his Eagle BOR LAST NIGHT. It was a a district Advancement COORDINAOR WHO I DISD NOT KNOW. I have participated in 10 EBOR, but being the candidates father I waited till after the results were told to him. I am very proud of him to accmplish this feat. Haven't been this proud since my older son made Eagle at age 14. 5 yeas ago.

[moosetracker]

JM.. It was all in good humor, stemming off of packsaddles out of the blue comment about not beating up on cockroaches.. None of it was 100% serious.

 

Just realize from now on, if a requirement does not say "do with xyz..." then it translates into "Do on your own".. meaning no teamwork, no reminders, no dragging of the unwilling.. And 90 days does not mean "180 days in which you tracked something for 90 days somewhere in there".

 

Good to see we didn't frighten you away permenantly..