POR term (need clarification please)

[fl_mom_of_2]

Our SM has been through woodbadge. Alot of our committee members have taken the committee challenge online. We only have 2 ASMs and they have been through SM training.

[Gunny2862]

Okay, thanks for the feedback!

 

Well, if the SM has been to training(he has)and has an issue with advancing the Scout - why not just ask him why?

 

Maybe he has a valid reason? Maybe he doesn't?

Surely the SM knows not advancing the Scout would draw questions.

So ask the question.

Surely you can support the SM enough to find out HIS "why" in this situation. Rather than just assuming that he is completely wrong. (Even if the book, at this point, says he is.)

This is a place where team building can occur versus just "getting mine". Value his input and he should value yours, build a little trust for the future.

 

But again, the manner in which you approach the question might determine his attitude in response. If you request information - shouldn't be a problem. If you are going to go in on the attack, well,..., maybe you should have another leader(an ASM or the CC) ask about it for you.

It's hard to to go in to "protect" the interests of our own children without being on the defensive - which tends to play out with us attacking the other persons position.

 

I still think having the Scout research advancement - ask him if he feels he's met the criteria - and then have him converse with the SM is the route to go on this one.

[John-in-KC]

Gunny,

 

Absolutely agree. That's part of the reason the smackdown option was last, and that the warning ... be prepared to become the unit leader ... was part of it.

 

Given Lisa's thread, I think there's a good reason for this Scout to slow down and enjoy the journey. He might even learn something about himself

[jtswestark]

What bothers me as a SM is when I have a parent second guessing me. Especially when the parent is pointing to chapter and verse about how Im supposed to be doing it, I get a little aggravated. Too many of those and Im done. Not because of my ego, but because either I am really screwing things up or theres enough people in that troop that obviously want things done differently. Any constructive problem solving methods are going to include an opportunity for a SM to explain his thinking. He may simply have made a mistake! May have misunderstood something! He may have a point to his plan that you are completely missing. He may have told your son something that wasnt relayed to you. As others have pointed out, constructively, you sound like a helicopter Mom. Do you want to solve this issue constructively for the growth of your son or to prove a point that hes wrong and youre right?

 

I hold off my advancement SM conferences for the very last requirement before the BOR. If during our conference the Scout can see that maybe he isnt ready for advancement, I wont sign his book and we agree to talk again within a specified amount of time about his performance and try again within a month or two. Rarely, if ever, is there a time when he isnt ready the second time we sit. But thats my style, and it differs from many others. He may have his own approach; a rhetorical: do you know what it is?

 

Do you value your SM? Or worded properly: does your SON value his SM? This man was selected to be the SM of the troop for a reason, and hopefully a part of that reason was that he has shown an ability to use some pretty decent judgment. He is trained, are you? Dont forget, he is probably learning as well, a young troop, this may be his first time when he has to deal with a sticky situation. Its not easy when its the son of active parents involved.

 

I would give you two different pieces of advice to choose from:

1.) Stay home for a while. Let your son handle this himself. Dont even ask him about it; back off. Hell come to you when he wants to share. Continuing to ask him about it will only cause it to become more of a stressor.

Or

2.) Ask the very fair question of the SM at a time when the two of you can talk uninterrupted and without wandering ears: teach me because I want to learn = not because I think youre screwing my son. Offer him an olive branch and take the high road. Once the SM sees that you truly want to understand for the betterment of the troop, the barrier will come down and he will spill his guts. Good luck in your dilemma.

 

JTS