Eagle Scout Candidate scheduled his own BOR

[gwd-scouter]

Our recent Eagle Scout candidate was closing in on is 18th birthday. I made arrangements with him to stay late after a Troop COH to do his Scoutmaster Conference. After the conference we were going over his application and he had many things yet to fill out before I could sign it. So, he came to my office the next day and we finished all his paperwork. I saw our district advancement chair at roundtable a couple of days later and mentioned that I had a candidate ready for a BOR.

 

Normally, our advancement chair does Eagle BORs on the same night as roundtable, but he was willing to schedule the BOR for the next week so this Scout could actually get the BOR in before his 18th birthday (yes, I know the BOR can be done after, but we were hoping to do it before).

 

Scout emailed me the following Monday and said he had spoken with the Adv. Chair (Scout's mother knows the Adv. Chair) and they were trying to schedule the BOR for that week. I wrote back to the Scout to let me know when it was scheduled so that I could be there (obviously, I can't sit on the Board, but I am always there waiting in the hall as a show of support for our Eagles).

 

Anyway, the week passed, then the next week passed while the Troop and I were at summer camp, and then the week passed after we got back. No word from the Scout, so I figured the BOR just hadn't been scheduled yet.

 

Husband was at the movies last week and ran into the Eagle Candidate. Turns out, he had his BOR and took his paperwork to Council Office himself. Still, no word from him to me about any of it.

 

While I admire the Eagle's initiative, I am greatly disappointed in his seemingly lack of respect for me by not even letting me know when his conference was scheduled, that he had his conference, or how it went.

 

Has anyone else ever had this kind of experience. It's a first for me.

 

 

[packsaddle]

Hi, I have observed bone-headed actions of all types. In almost all cases, the boy(s) simply haven't thought through their decisions and did not intend to offend or slight anyone. They are sometimes completely clueless as to matters of tact, diplomacy, or grace...and sometimes tactlessly simple in their thoughts.

You know the boy better than any of us and unless you suspect he intended somehow to be rude, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. There might even be an opportunity to have a friendly chat to discover his intent and perhaps clue him in if he simply was suffering from that defective chromosome.

[Gunny2862]

A Scout is...courteous...

 

But I am inclined to agree with packsaddles assessment.

 

Unless this fine fellow is someone who is chronically disrespectful then you probably need to cut him some slack. If on the other hand this guy is a real jerk then how, when and where has he been demonstrating Scout Spirit towards his Eagle?

[evmori]

Ya see this all the time with kids this age. I am firmly convinced they just don't have the capability to understand all the ramifications of their decisions at this age. And things like this happen & even if it is explained to them, they don't get it. Wait about 5 years & remind the Scout of this & I'll bet he realizes what he did was rude.

 

Ed Mori

1 Peter 4:10

[moxieman]

In our district (and in most if not all in this council), the Eagle Candidate must schedule his own BOR. If the SM calls to make the appointment, he/she is politely reminded that the candidate is the only one who is allowed to do this.

 

In our district, the advancement committee has a schedule posted listing when they are doing BOR's and when each month. They are also willing to schedule special sessions, but rarely need to do so thanks to providing this schedule.

 

I understand that the candidate in this case forgot to notify you when his BOR was, but he did take the responsibility to schedule it himself.

 

 

[jr56]

Heck, I still do things that in hindsite aren't politicaly correct. Wish I had the ability to see all the ramifications of every action I take before I take it, but that is one skill I've never mastered, I find myself apologizing alot.

The important thing is that he took the initiative and got his Eagle.

[mdutch]

May I suggest that the scout (incorrectly) assumed that for the Eagle BOR, like all other BORs, do not have SM participation, and therefore the scout did not see a need for the SM to know about the BOR ahead of time.

[donert]

As a SM, I have had two Eagle Scouts and at their ECOH's I was never thanked but a lot of other people were. One Eagle Scout did not even send me a thank you card for the personalized gift I gave him. I can see why the Scout never contacted you about his EBOR even after all the weekends, evenings, vacation days and money from your own pocket to help him reach where he is today.

[packsaddle]

Similar experience, usetobeafox. No problem. In addition I have written scores of letters for student applications of various sorts and had hundreds of students through my classes. Only rarely do I ever get a 'thank you' and I'm just fine with that. The best thanks I could get would be for them to be successful in life and perhaps (on a hopefully rare occasion), to be competent if they ever become my surgeon.

My expectations are aimed at MY behavior more than at others'.

[gwd-scouter]

Thanks for your input folks. The young man in question here was the last of what I've referred to as "legacy" Scouts in previous posts. While he certainly did more than any of those that have already aged-out of the troop, he didn't show up for any troop functions during this last year leading up to his 18th birthday except for those times he needed to talk to me about something. Then, it was as though since he showed up, I had to drop what I was doing and pay attention to him.

 

Yes, he had completed his POR satisfactorily and he had been active in his troop, so the fact that he wasn't around for a year was not a problem for his advancement to Eagle - he had been signed off on those requirements.

 

I just got the feeling that his time was more important than my time. Sorry if I can't put this into words very well, but here's an example, certainly not cause of lack of Scout Spirit or anything:

 

When I stepped up as Scoutmaster 3 years ago, I made it very clear that I preferred to be addressed as Mrs. Buchanan, not by my first name as our previous Scoutmasters had done. To this day, that Scout (and only that Scout) calls me by my first name. That, to me, is a sign of disrespect.

 

Oh well, he did the work, he did the requirements, he got his Eagle.

[packsaddle]

I have often been aware of the development of contempt after familiarity. But I wonder sometimes...is it possible that a person will use an interaction that seems like contempt (or rudeness) in order to appear familiar in a new situation? I think so. It is a way to compensate for a personal feeling of some kind of insecurity. In this case, you must make your own best judgement and, as you said, he's done with his eagle...only thing left is to figure out what really happened. You (and we) may never know for sure. And chances are, by the time you think you really have figured it out, he'll have grown into a different person, possibly a better one, because you tolerated him and thereby gave him that opportunity. I'd just shrug and turn my attention to the rest of the troop.