Eagle COH...or not...how long do we wait?

[scoutldr]

Typical non-go getter scout completes Eagle after a year absence. Scouting history is that every rank was like pulling teeth. Had to push, prod, cajole, remind, every step of the way. Turns 16, gets car and job and comes to meetings about once a quarter. (I have to work!)

 

One day, decides that to get his parents off his back, he'll complete his project. AWOL from EBOR...he "thought" that we couldn't proceed because we didn't have all recommendation letters in, so he just didn't show up. He writes letter of apology, give him benefit of doubt, EBOR is rescheduled and he does a good job. Meanwhile, he's turned 18 and is enrolled in Apprentice program at local shipyard. That was last September...haven't heard from him since. SM explained that ECOH was up to him, to decide what he and parents wanted, and let us know...anything from routine troop COH to formal affair with reception. Nothing. So how long do we wait? Just send his Eagle credentials to him in the mail? Take back to Scout shop for a refund? We feel dissed and used and we're not real keen on wasting any more of our time reminding, pleading and begging.

 

Advice?

[gwd-scouter]

Scoutldr. I had a similar experience with two Scouts about a year ago. Neither Scout ever had a Court of Honor. It's as if they dropped off the planet after their EBOR. Both are in town attending college/working, so I know they are still local.

 

I called, I sent emails, but never got a response about setting up a ECOH. So, after waiting for over six months without a word from them, I mailed their Eagle award kit. I did include a nice letter explaining that I didn't feel it was right for me to hold on to their award and if they find a time when they'd like to have a formal presentation, we'd work it out.

 

They're gone, they reached the "finish line" and got their prize. Oh well, I certainly feel sorry for the families and others that helped these boys and were denied the opportunity to share in the moment.

[Venividi]

Advice?

 

Consider it a learning experience, and a reason to get together with other unit scouters to discuss the extent to which pushing, proding, cajoling, reminding scouts to advance is actually benefiting the scouts. Experiences like these can help make adults better leaders - you may end up modifying how you work with such scouts.

 

Keep reminding yourself that you are positively affecting the character/citizenship/fitness of many scouts, and they are looking at you as a role model. Heady stuff. Keep up the good fight.

[acco40]

The Eagle COH is the Scouts responsibility; just like you stated. After he his EBOR, tell him to give you a call and let you know when the date for his EBOR is determined. If he chooses not to have one, he can stop by during any troop meeting and pick it up. That simple.

 

P.S. Typical non-go getter Scout should not be earning his Eagle rank.

 

 

[scoutldr]

Acco, couldn't agree more. I'm not a proponent of spoonfeeding, as my posting history will show.

 

The SM and I (CC) had a lot of parking lot discussions over this one. He was never a "bad" kid...just scatterbrained and unmotivated. He almost didn't make the 18 deadline because I held the line on his project plan writeup quality. His mother even complained to Council that we were "refusing to help him get his Eagle". That almost did it for me, but I decided I wouldn't penalize the kid because mom's an idiot. Dad was in the Navy and never participated in the troop, and scout was forced to babysit infant sister most nights.

 

I wish him well, but the ball's in his court.

[CalicoPenn]

Not a go-getter? Had to push and prod? And yet he still earned his Eagle? How many go-getters fail to earn their Eagle? Many, I'm sure. So what if he got his Eagle, and other ranks, through fits and starts - he still earned his Eagle - and you should be celebrating the fact that you were there to push, prod, and cajole him into trying - and succeeding. How many times on the forum have we heard of Eagles earning their rank despite the actions of their Scoutmaster, or some other leader. Clearly, this lad earned his Eagle BECAUSE of his Scoutmaster and Committee Chair. You should be proud of that!

 

Send him his Eagle credentials - he's earned them - even if he doesn't want a public ceremony. He has still done what most boys in Scouting never do.

 

CalicoPenn

[ASM915]

How long?

 

18 in November,2004. District EBOR Feb, 2005 (ran quarterly). ADD SM had packet in April 2005, but forgot to tell us the packet had arrived until asked in SEPT, or Oct. 2005.

 

It's now May 2007. Son is very involved ASM. He finally floored us with "Maybe we can hold my ECOH in July at summercamp." Two years later.

 

He's is a Heroism Award recipient and knows Council isn't letting him off the hook when it comes to the National COH. He figured he might as well finally have his ECOH at the same time.

 

As for summercamp, he thought it might be nice for the NCH to be held in front of the camp, figuring it is rare if ever that other Scouts every see a Heroism or Lifesaving Award ever presented.

[Eagledad]

>>The Eagle COH is the Scouts responsibility; just like you stated. After he his EBOR, tell him to give you a call and let you know when the date for his EBOR is determined.

[jr56]

Send him his credentials, and let him know that you will conduct a ceremony for him if and when he desires it.

[Eagle76]

Ditto to all those who said send him the trinkets and let him know you're willing to participate in the COH when it's set up.

 

But, to repeat something from a thread not too long ago, if you find yourself in a position to talk to a Scout who is thinking about forgoing a COH because he doesn't like to be made a fuss over, or doesn't like being the center of attention, remind him that probably one of the most important parts of the COH is the opportunity for a newly-minted Eagle Scout to acknowledge and thank his parents and others who helped him along his way. In this specific case, maybe go ahead and include a letter which emphasizes these points. "The troop is looking forward to participating in your Eagle COH, and I'm sure you are anxious to have the opportunity to publicly acknowledge and thank your parents and others who have supported you in reaching this lofty goal..."