concernedparent

Hi Shortridge, Yep - been there, done that.. I normally encourage our boys to stick with the troop.. Perhaps that was a poor choice of words. And trust me - I have taken many deep breaths and I do ask for feedback from true outsiders -- to see if I'm seeing things through colored glasses... and sometimes I am... and that's why I ask. I'm not perfect but neither is anyone else. But it is the ability to see this that is the key. Obviously from all of this we all have differing opinions and different goals for our kids. And that just brings me back to reality again -- which is great.

yep - you're right. I am bringing all of this in.. Thanks for the advice of not bringing it to the committee but it's already been placed on the agenda by the secretary as this is how we work.. He's been spoken to multiple times but to no avail. Also - NONE of the boys that have bridged over in the past 3 years have earned their Tenderfoot.

Thanks for the feedback! I was looking for the proper way to explain things to her without getting her riled up. I will have to let her know that in the future she will have to be in the pool with her son... When this whole issue escalated I called my committee chairperson just to let her know what was going on and I also called my District Executive to let him know... He said to let my committee chairperson know because if he is to be removed from the pack it has to come from the Committee. I can't do it myself as Cubmaster. Additionally I do know this -- I need to be careful with this one because I don't want to have a lawsuit slapped on me... The tiger den leader's son knows this boy so there is history behind all of this as well... Now that you all have provided me wtih great feedback I have some solid ground to work on. I will, tho - have to have a few other leaders with me, as her story(ies) changed every 5 minutes. I really don't have the time to put much more into this. Bottom line for me is that the other two cubs are good boys and their parents are great. And I did tell her that she is more than welcome to find another pack to join, as this may not be a good fit. There are problems with the Scout Master so I really don't want to go there... We are going to go on a hike in a few weeks and I will have to do something by then. I wasn't at the prior hike but I understand that this boy was running ahead of the leader and was told multiple times to stay behind that leader and not run ahead. I was also told that he picked up a rock and threw it towards the group. Thankfully no one was hurt. SO I am having all of this documented so that I have the facts straight..

Ah.. well yes, my son is having fun but in my opinion he's not learning much, as the way they run things they don't have good leadership. The Scout Master's son is an ASM and he is always laying on the bench sleeping... This is most bothersome when I ask who is in charge of them tonight - or who is leading them tonight.. oh - it's CJ... Is that him sleeping on the bench? Yes.. ok.. this isn't the type of thing I want my son to learn... Ok - so I can see that perhaps if they work at it they should be able to do it - and there are things that can be done, said, suggested.. but with this scout master most everything lands on deaf ears. so most everyone just works around him - and does things inspite of him. I personally have not said anything or been involved because I am too busy with the cub scouts - and I have bucked heads with this guy many many times and have gotten no where... My son may be one of the few that could probably do a pull up if he really did work at it as he is a bit scrawny but he is not overweight.. and I admit - it does come back to the parents... I will suggest alternatives and see how that goes. The whole reason this thing came up is because we had a conflict this weekend with the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts (I have one in each) and was told that they were doing a "cook off." Which is not fulfilling any requirements... so my question is this - if the boys are overweight and need to work on this requirement as well as others why is the scoutmaster dictating these types of things? Yes - the cook off was done because HE wanted to do it. Anyway - I'm going off on a tangent now.. But lastly for me - I want my son to advance and earn his badges. Might not be the goal for some but that's what I need him to learn - that he has to have a goal... and do some goal setting..

Thank you for all of your feedback! we have a committee meeting on Wednesday and I will be addressing this issue, as well as many others. I will have to get my son's book and clearly point that out. -- the before and after. We've lost a few good leaders because of this Scout Master. He is still around because the Charter Organization feels an obligation to him because they helped resurrect the troop and pack years ago (like 25 years ago...) and they want to see if they can work things out -- but I will be presenting and asking if it's in the best interest of the boys.. which clearly it is not. They are moving along with their other requirements and have completed them -- with the final approval of the Scout Master (which makes the ASM's question what they are really there for since they are not "allowed" to sign off on anything on their own...) Yes, unfortunately if things are not resolved then there will have to be some movement. Problem is that no one really wants to bring these things up because this individual is extremely hard to work with-- his way or no way... BUT now we do have a few more individuals in our committee that will back me up and not just tell me that they are so sorry on the way out.. Yes, he's a piece of work. We are also constantly trying to clean up the scout room and address their (his and his wife's) hoarding issues.... I recently had to tell them that I was going to purchase some food for the Cub Scout camp and would be using a few of the shelves and if there wasn't enough room then I would be forced to throw out a few of their 50 frozen pizzas that they have in there. (yep - their personal food...)

Hi there - I'm so glad I found this site! So here's my question - I have boys that bridged over to Boy Scouts 3 years ago that still haven't earned their Tenderfoot because the scoutmaster insists that they have to do a pull up. However, I believe that the book states that you have to make progress towards it and not necessarily do it.. some of these boys will never do it, as they are on the larger side but they do try.. Do you see a problem with this or am I the only one? If they are not going to be able to advance then why would I feed the troop? That's like setting them up for failure... Thanks!

How would you address this? We just got back from camp -- and boy am I exhausted... I have a Tiger who is extremely active and at times gets a little aggressive. I've spoken to him many times in front of his mom about his actions. He tells mom to shut up, go away, etc. Today, when a leader approached him about talking during the opening ceremony he almost hit the leader in the face with his hand. Mom wants him to have friends and was focusing in on the fact that the buddy system wasn't working and he wasn't being "included." Mom stormed off several times and took off in her car... She has told me that we are the worst pack she has ever been with and she has NEVER seen a pack run like this before -- that we are unorganized and the children are not supervised adequately. All activities at the camp were supervised by adults. However, during the downtime the parents were responsible to watch over their children. All of the other children were getting along together and playing except, of course, for this one child... She also claimed that we had poor communication... ok - so I have to laugh at this because there have been many emails about this camp.. but she has ADMITTEDLY not read through them -- she asked my husband to please send her a summary... so he just cut and pasted the body of the email that listed all of the details.. There was an incident at the pool where she told me that three people had to pull him out of the pool because he was being "run over" by other boys. I found out later that one of the parents who was in the pool had to have his knee up so that this boy could stand on it. Also - I found out that this boy refused to hang onto the side -- so when the parent moved his leg the boy would just go down and the parent would have to pull him up.. Anyway after she pulled him out she stormed back to her tent (that we (I) loaned her) and said that she was going to file a formal complaint with council and that she was leaving. One of the leaders in charge followed her to make sure she was ok and came to get me. I then spoke to her and told her that she was welcome to file a complaint and asked her if she was leaving. She then said - oh - now you want me to leave? ack! Anyway, she said that her son wasn't being "included" in things and that the buddy system wasn't working... and "how do you think this makes him feel?" -- she was almost in tears. I did find out that MY son had an incident with this child as well, where they were playing and the boy grabbed two other boy's wrists and wouldn't let them go. His mom had to pull him off of them. Additionaly, there was another time when he pushed my son and another parent held my son and had to pry the other boy's hands from my son -- she explained it as this - he had a "death grip" on your son.. I spent most of my day yesterday talking to the other parents to find out what was happening -- not only once, not twice but atleast 3 times. I finally had to ask them to document what they had witnessed. I also asked mom if she could document things - but she said no, not right now... (by that time I was so tired...) - and she went on to tell me - see - look - the other two boys (other two tigers) are playing with each other and my son is here. I told her, no, the two boys are playing with the other boys and you are choosing to play with your son here. So anyway I can't find anything on what I can do about the buddy system... I certainly don't want to have to force another boy to be his buddy knowing that the other boy might get hurt... and, on the other hand, if I do pair him up with someone and they stay away from him because of how he is then that negates the purpose of the buddy system - Now my other leaders are telling me that they don't want to head up any activity because they are feeling badly about not being able to give him the one on one attention that he requires. My Committee Chairperson is also unwilling to step up right now - so I'll be bringing this to the committee meeting this week... k - so much more but I won't go on! Anyone have an suggestions??????? Thanks!