concernedmom

Let me clarify....I haven't proposed doing anything other than what someone else suggested. That is to make a presentation to the pack. I think it's a great idea and I am going to invite a few veterans and perhaps someone from the disabilities awareness program at our University.

Hold on now. I wasn't refering to any of you on this forum. I was talking about my son's pack specifically. Sorry I wasn't clear about that. I also have NOT proposed doing anything. I said that I had spoken to him once and that is all. I also wrote that I didn't intend to go further with this.

Okay, I think it goes without saying that laws are broken constantly. The fact that they are does not make it right. The main point here is that as a scout leader--leader being the operative word here--one should set the highest standard for his or her behavior and actions. If a parent chooses to do these things....that's between the parent and child. The pack leader sets the example for the ENTIRE group of kids. Even after I said something, he CONTINUES to do this. Now, in all honesty, I seem to be the only one concerned with this issue, and I take great care to teach my child right from wrong by discussing things with him and practicing what I preach (yeah, I do drive above the speed limit too). I think the fact that noone else is bothered by it is also shameful...and how ironic it is that this "leader" will make the evaluation when my son does his disabilities awareness belt loop! You can play devil's advocate all you want. In the end, the scout leader's behavior and his refusal to correct it stinks!

Scoutmom...I want to wish you all the best and I hope that you have more good days than bad. Oak Tree suggested that I make a presentation to the pack. As I work on that, I will definitely be sure to address types of disabilities. Thanks for your helpful comments.

Hi Scoutmom, Thanks for your comments. I do realize there are disabilities that are not visible to the eye. I was blessed to have had my husband for 20- years and saw many forms of disabilities during our many, many hospital trips. The offender in this case, however, has (and I know this as fact) no disability of any sort, nor does anyone in his immediate family. His justification when I mentioned it one time, was that he has a niece (who is not under his care, nor does she live with him) who is disabled. In fact, he seemed to almost be playing one up with me....my niece is worse off than....). In this state, to legally park in a handicapped designated space, one must obtain a hangtag from the county registrar, which is done with the appropriate medical documentation. He does not have a hangtag. So at best, he is parking illegally.

Wow! Some very interesting points in this discussion. Oak Tree, what you suggest is beautiful and I think I may work on a presentation. What a wonderful tribute it would be and a lesson presented in the most diplomatic way. Thank you. Laurel B, I appreciate some of your advice as well. But as LEADERS to these cub scouts, adults must be on THEIR BEST behavior. Who do our children learn from? ADULTS. Parking in a handicapped spot is ILLEGAL. These spaces are so designated for 24 hours a day, not just when someone who is entitled to use it shows up. And yes, we all have different levels of tolerance. When someone tells me I have done or said something hurtful, I don't do it again out of respect for that person, whether I think they are overly sensitive or not. As for dealing with the death of a parent/spouse...I assume you have no experience with that? I pray you never will. I promise to do my best to do my duty to God and my country, to help other people.....to honor God, to be a good citizen, to respect other people....

Again, thank you. I did, in fact, say something to the scout leader several months ago...again, in a very nonconfrontational way (did not say it sets a bad example), he justified parking in the spot by telling me that he has a severely disabled niece...as though that entitles him to park in a handicapped spot (he has no invisible handicap--in our state you have to have a hangtag to park). I haven't said anything since. As I mentioned earlier, having lived for 20 years with a wheelchair user, I am sensitive to this issue, and so is my son. I just think that it is hard to teach a young child the gray areas. You shouldn't park in a handicapped spot, but it's okay if it's in a private lot or if noone is using it. Anyway, I won't belabour the point and I do appreciate your help so very much.

Thank you all so very much for your advice. I did talk to the den leader last night in a very nonconfrontational way. She denied having said anything and in fact told me that her son had been in trouble at school several times during the week for saying unkind things to other kids. So, all is well for now. I gently told her that I wouldn't have said anything to her if this was a spat between the kids, but because her son said SHE said, etc.---and so was compelled to talk to her since she is the den leader. There is one more issue I would like your opinions on, if you don't mind. My husband was a paralyzed veteran (he passed away when my son was a baby). So, I am very sensitive about issues dealing with disabilities. Do you think it is appropriate for scout leaders (in this case, the pack leader and den leaders) to park in a handicapped parking place. The meeting takes place at a church, I know that it is private property, but I personally think, once again, that a scout leader should be setting a good example in all areas. Am I wrong? I don't intend to say anything, but if I need to get over it....please tell me so. Again, thanks for your help.

Just wanted to add that I attend the meetings with my son every week and I am unaware of any problems.

Hi, I am a mom to one 7 year old son who is homeschooled. My son joined the Scouts in September and has enjoyed it so very much until yesterday. My son saw 2 members of his den at school (he was with a friend who was picking up her children) and said hello. One of the boys said "My mom thinks you're a brat!" His mother is the den leader. Can you offer me some advice on how to handle this? If the little boy had called my son a brat, I would have told my son to work it out on his own, but his den leader, his AKELA, is supposed to be a leader, a friend, someone he can trust. He cried himself to sleep last night. Thank you for your help.