Jmatt0613

Hello everyone! I have come up with an update but it's not that good. Unfortunately, I have decided to leave my current troop after some issues arose. This is a drama that has been brewing in the background since our summer camp. I had a meeting with the new scoutmaster (NSM), Chartered organization rep (COR), and old scoutmaster(OSM) which was an intervention under the guise of a leadership meeting. (NOTE before this COR had not been present at troop functions for almost 1 year and OSM had only reappeared back in march) They essentially summed up the meeting into 3 things 1. I need to back away from the troop for some time to focus on myself and my future (they also agree to help and check in on me), 2. That I was not to attend ANY troop or committee meetings or ANY 2 deep leadership with the scouts until COR said it was ok too, and 3. They claim that it is to make sure my relationship with the scouts wouldn't be taken as me being a predator. I understood this and agreed with 1 and 3 but 2 is where I had a major problem because I had already agreed to help and be available to the new leadership and parents that came in. I stayed away as much as I could unless the scouts asked for help (I always take 2 deep leadership seriously because one mistake could ruin my life) the meetings that I did go to COR and OSM were not there but NSM was but he never tried to talk to me about 2 and was actually grateful when I actually showed up. Then our September committee meeting happens where all three are there. (I received an email from the Committee chair informing us that there would be a committee meeting and that anyone can attend) Nothing was said to me before or during the meeting but COR wanted to talk with me afterward. He reiterated 1,2, and 3 to me again and told me that he would call me to help me with something before the next week. Since I had not been asked to help with any meetings during September I decided to not attend meetings and not interact with any scouts. COR never called or even texted about helping me and then proceeded to take a vacation the last week of September and the first week of October. COR was set to return the day before the October Committee meeting it was intentionally scheduled that way. Two days before our October Committee meeting the Committee chair sent out an email reminding everyone of the meeting and was still an open invitation. As this thread showed I planned on attending to propose the Code of Conduct. I arrived a bit early way before any scouts or other adults showed up and just waited. When the SPL arrived I asked him about returning something that I had loaned him because I planned on almost quitting the troop and fully embracing ! 2, and 3 to the best of my ability. While doing this other scouts arrived and I got swarmed until the normal meeting opening which I stayed to watch with NSM. I was going to wait until the NSM was finished and walk with him to the committee meeting. Before that happened COR walked over and asked to talk with me so I followed him. Upon the talk beginning, he asked why I was there and that I knew about 1, 2, and 3 to which I calmly explained that I was there for the committee meeting and what I had previously mentioned. He asked if I knew why he had told me to stay away and I just told him what 3 is. he agreed and asked if my mother knew about 1,2, and 3 and the real reason, to which I responded yes and said I was only there for the committee meeting. He then followed up with that if I attend another meeting of any kind he would have me removed in handcuffs. I simply asked why as I knew I had not broken any laws to which he responded "for what you did to those kids online I should have had you removed from the program a long time ago," (This is the exact quote and he didn't explain it at all. The reason is that I know is because immediately after I texted my mother a summary that included that line in full.) Cor then said I could stay for the committee meeting as I didn't have a ride there but then reiterated that if I come back again I will leave in handcuffs. During the entire committee meeting, I stayed silent, and as soon as it was over I went outside and ordered an Uber. As soon as I was home I emailed the NSM and committee chair that I am leaving the troop because I have become unwelcome by Cor and that if I attend another troop event I will be removed in handcuffs. I wished them the best of luck for the future and that I might not return again. My scouting journey has come to an end against my will and I'm quite sad about it ending this way with people I considered family. This is not the ending I thought of or hoped for at all but if I stay any longer I am risking my future for nothing. I hope those who have read this have a wonderful time with however long you have left in this amazing program. I might end up updating this if any major events happen in the future.

Most of the parents are also assistant scoutmasters. Even during the chaos, our troop is in the scoutmaster strives to keep it boy-led with adult and assistant scoutmaster assistance as needed. The scoutmaster rarely misses any major events due to our lack of adult help. There was also talk about the scoutmaster sticking to his listed duties, this will also help others stay in their specific positions. Yes, I hoped there wouldn't be a need for something like this but there have been too many incidents that have caused the need to attempt to put a Code of Conduct in place. No matter the outcome I will respect the decision while still stating that this behavior needs to change. The scoutmaster in my opinion isn't very intimidating as he has made multiple attempts to create a closer bond with the scouts while keeping it safe and appropriate. The main reason the scouts don't like him is because of certain decisions he made and his refusal to explain the reasons and then go lie about events that never happened to the committee's face. No matter what I hope to make it clear to the scouts that if they are uncomfortable approaching the scoutmaster then they can approach one of the assistant scoutmasters if they need help with a problem like bullying Parent A tends to make excuses for their child and their behavior. Scout A is a part of the major family so some problems might be handled at home but what about the acts of bullying toward children who aren't in that family? As I said dealing with acts of bullying should be kept private to not humiliate the bully but also allowing there to be no consequences just lets the bully know they can get away with these actions. I agree that scouting isn't meant for everyone because of the moral things scouts teach. A bad person won't suddenly become a good person just because they join scouts they need to be willing to change and allow themselves room to grow and become a better person. Also, the lack of respect is another issue entirely and unfortunately isn't a major problem as it's only been scout A. Now our next committee meeting is happening in the next few days and I'm quite nervous because m scared I won't have the courage to bring up the Code of Conduct after all and the fact that the meeting might be controlled by the same group as last time. They barely let anyone speak unless it was to support their statement. Is there anything I can do that allows me to have the opportunity to present the code of conduct and have the same courage to defend it while explaining how it helps solve some of the major issues? I will post an update after the committee meeting to let everyone know how it went.

It's the other way around. I came here to come up with ideas and possible solutions to help overcome scouts that are uncomfortable approaching the scoutmaster with the issue. I admit that I shouldn't have brought up the grading policy as it derailed my original question. In the moment I thought it might help to explain other things talked about at the meeting. I agree that the kids should work through their issues with their peers but it crossed that line a long time ago. There isn't any physical bullying but more verbal bullying than anything. There is a lot of putting others down for various issues, yelling at scouts that are answering too many questions then proceeding to the conversation in a different direction, yelling at special needs scouts, and at some times yelling at everyone including adult leaders. All of these actions have been done by multiple scouts of various ages, ranks, gender, and troop position. One scout(scout A) had done all of the aforementioned acts in front of adult leaders or their parents. There was a misunderstanding at our last summer camp. We were about to elect the new senior patrol leader but as the scoutmaster had come back later than we all thought it was the consensus among the adults to push it to the next night and have a little party beforehand. As it was just decided we told all scouts in the near area that this was the new plan and to tell the others of it as well. Some time passes by and almost everyone is hanging out in the pavilion that was provided to us when scout A and scout B come up from a cabin we were also provided. Scout A attempted to ask another person what was going but due to the noise, no one heard them so then Scout A proceeds to scream at everyone about its not fair that they were left out of voting in the SPL election. This caused some confusion as we didn't know that Scout A was unaware of the plan change since no one had seen them since coming back from dinner. We try to explain that the plans changed but Scout A wasn't listening to what we said and then Scout A proceeded to walk away angry and almost crying leaving everyone else very confused. The Scout A parent( Parent A) proceeded to discipline everyone there including the scoutmaster, a member of camp staff, the majority of the scouts, and other adult leaders including myself. Parent A said that Scout A was feeling left out when everyone was at the pavilion except them, that they had a bad day, and that we are bullying him by not allowing him to be with us. We made it clear that since this is an open area we can't police who is and isn't there and that if we had made Scout A feel any sort of detachment from the group we didn't mean to do. Parent A then proceeded to attempt to argue that not including anyone in SPL elections is unfair (Scout A was NOT eligible for SPL at all and wasn't close enough to finish within the next day) and I simply said back that we wouldn't Vote for the next SPL without everyone here BECAUSE that isn't fair and that we had changed the plan. That shut Parent A up who then proceeded to walk away and pout. This is one of the stories of this scout from our summer camp week. Scout A had at least one major problem a day where it would be similar to the above. I might have gone a bit off topic but this is a clear example of the bullying in our troop. Something needs to change or else the troop will be forced to close due to lack of youth.

Ok, I understand the problems with the grades but unfortunately, I am a trained assistant scoutmaster so I don't get a vote on anything discussed at committee meetings. I am only trying to provide information that I believe is relevant to the original question I posted. I swing both ways on that issue because I do understand that it should be kept to the parents but when a troop of 12 kids where 50% of them are related by blood sometimes issues like grades do have a major influence on our troop. Our current committee chair, communication manager, Scoutmaster of our girl's troop, and 2 assistant scoutmasters are also part of that family. There has always been a problem with this family at some point or another but when there are acts of repeated bullying at the meetings by a child in this family there needs to be a change. Unfortunately, I believe that no one in our troop practices the scout law anymore including our scoutmaster. I hope this Code of conduct can be a wake-up call for the scouts and parents who don't follow it anymore that they need to clean up their act because for the future of our troop I will propose my version of the code of conduct hopefully at our next committee meeting in October. No matter the outcome I will respect the committee's decision and then decide what to focus on next in supporting my troop.

I understand the fact that the grades should be handled by the parents but as the troop is very small (one family has almost 50% of the scouts in the troop along with their parents) and the idea of reinstating this by the Committee Chair who is a part of that family. Some other reasons the Chair suggested this is because there is a requirement in the Scholarship merit badge that requires proof of a B average over multiple terms, and that it helps teach accountability for their actions. I understand that also putting a Code of Conduct in could cause some unforeseen problems but I feel that at this point it is a requirement, unfortunately. I remembered a screenshot that I took of something a scout had posted to their Snapchat story back in February where the scout openly admits to having swastikas up and down their arms, cursing at a teacher, flipping another student off and other actions that DEFINITELY aren't scout-like. I want to protect the troop and the charter organization that hosts us and that while the activities are not a troop event the scouts ARE the face of the troop so if one scout is doing these actions then others will think that's what the rest of our troop is like as well. The current scoutmaster joined with his oldest in 2018, he is an eagle from a neighboring council and wasn't a part of the troop for long before he became the right-hand of the old scoutmaster probably 6-9 months. During the entire time of him being in the troop, not very many people liked him because he has the attitude of a know-it-all and this quick rise of "rank". Thank you for reading all of this and all of your answers. I genuinely care about my troop because it has been a second family to me so it might sound as if I am painting people in a bad light but I am only echoing what others have said and agreed with.

Thank you for the warm welcome everyone! During the committee meeting, we also talked about holding the youth accountable for their actions including bringing an old system back. Back when I first joined my troop we were required to show our 9-week grades to the scoutmaster, if your grades were below a certain point then you were suspended from campouts and similar activities until you showed improvement. @InquisitiveScouter is it ok if I use the Code of Conduct that you shared as a guideline for making one for my troop? I would of course bring this to the committee's attention at our next committee meeting to see if this is something we could incorporate for the future! I also have some other questions for everyone: What are some ways that the other adult leaders and I can make sure that the youth know that we are trying to make changes without anyone feeling like they are the cause of the changes? Also, what powers can 'remove" a scoutmaster if he does something that would require him to be removed?

I feel like this is something important to note in this conversation. In the Troop Committee Guidebook, it states in chapter 8: "The Scoutmaster (or assistant Scoutmaster) is not a member of the troop committee and has no vote." (Chapter 8, page 35) This book is old but it doesn't have a newer version. Troop Committee Guidebook: http://www.commissioner-bsa.org/kit/Troop Committee Guidebook 34505.pdf or just search 'bsa committee guidebook'

The first thing to state I am NOT the scoutmaster!!!! I am an assistant scoutmaster in a troop that is facing this problem. Earlier this month we held a troop committee meeting. One of the first things brought to the committee's attention is that there are acts that are considered bullying happening at troop meetings and campouts and the victims are not comfortable approaching the scoutmaster to report the bullying. The scoutmaster responded by saying that he can't be everywhere at once and that the assistant scoutmasters are also responsible to watch for bullying. I admit that he does have a point with that but as soon as the meeting starts he takes all of the other parents and assistant scoutmasters away from the meeting to chat in a separate room. This leaves 1-2 adults to watch the meeting happening. I normally sit in on the meetings as I am younger and only aged out recently so I know the scouts very well and in my opinion say that they trust me. I have seen things that are bullying and have stepped in to stop it but there are things that I miss because I am not at the meeting or I step out to handle other things. The scoutmaster tends to dismiss the other adult leadership's ideas and suggestions if they do not agree with his own (this was also brought up at the committee meeting) and in his response, he ended up belittling the committee chair who brought up the issue. The committee chair thinks that is a major reason as the troop is smaller and most are related by family ties. This leads to the youth seeing their parents being disrespected and then not wanting to approach the person that is disrespecting the parents. The scoutmaster is not very liked by the youth and adults of the troop so this is another problem. Currently, the scoutmaster has 2 children in the program. The older one is the current ASPL and the other one is younger but they have caused problems in the past. Also, the committee chair is related to some of the victims AND some of the children that have bullied others. This is my first post here and this is something that is causing a lot of other problems in the troop. I will try and reply with further explanations and information at some point.